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Is there a legal Cut Off Age for Child Care Expenses?

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  • #31
    Sounds like the focus is more about anger at your ex than current or even next years babysitting issues. Can't imagine your ex would be so intent on making you pay your share that she will try to have a 14 or 15 yr old babysat over his objections and having to pay her own share. Why make yourself so angry about what "may" happen in 3 years?

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    • #32
      You e got two separate issues here and you need to focus. First your animosity over the previous process and your exs behaviour. You need to let that go. As hard as it sounds you have to do it. Your ex is a petty bitch. Period. Letting it go will help you think clearly.

      Second, you need to stop discussing with her future expenses. Youve tipped your cards now about how you feel about daycare. She knows it pisses you off so she will keep doing it.

      Third, this year after taxes you need to tell her you want a copy of her return to recalculate s7 as you should be paying the proper proportionate share of expenses. Period.

      Fourth, take the annual expense, her estimate income and do an online return with expenses and non expenses. The difference in the return is the net cost of the expense. You subtract that from the daycare. OR you let it go and pay the amount she gives since youre currently paying a smaller proportion.

      As for future expenses, let it go. Your kid needs to stand up to their mother and they will. Let her put them in daycare, the kid will grow to resent her.

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      • #33
        here's the update on this one:

        12 year old got home alone course in March. Kids were getting luxury of sleeping later in mornings now (not getting dragged out of bed before 6am with mom to a sitter)....kids were getting breakfast and walking to school on own.

        Would walk home to Mom at home/have evening with her.

        Everything was working out great, both kids happy!

        Now a month later, Mom sends me e-mail along the lines of "As of May ## I am going on afternoon shift, just letting you know as I will need a babysitter for the kids and you are responsible to pay towards this"

        So now she is changing her shift from 7am-3pm to 3pm-11pm/ will have babysitter at house from 4pm-11pm (obviously can't have kids alone that late/that length of time)

        She's been on day shift for 6 years, how coincidental that when babysitting can stop/no section 7 additional fees to her for that.....she all of a sudden is going on afternoon shift.

        And when is she going to see the kids? They will go to school in morning, come home to a babysitter, when she comes home from work after 11pm kids should be in bed well before than!

        On her weekends with the kids, she gives them to her parents (kids sleepover at her parents)

        I have the kids the other weekend.
        Ex will only legally agree for me to have them every other weekend, 3 non-consecutive weeks in the Summer, one week at Christmas and Alternate March Break each year. (Has cost me thousands just to get that---3 different times going through court process)

        My spouse and I do not put the kids in any babysitting, we arrange our work schedules around them.

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        • #34
          Are you available from those times? Simply put in a resume to the other parent outlining all of your qualifications.

          If the other parent went to court to try and have this enforced (payment) and you were available for those hours they would lose access as the judge would order the children to go to your residence and to remain there on those days.

          I would recommend you retain a lawyer and have them send over an official offer to settle to have the children reside with you on those days. I would also suggest you include a time line of 30 days after which you will seek a motion and expect them to pay full costs for having to get an order to that effect.

          The other parent would have an impossible task of being successful in having a child care provider for those hours in place of a parent.

          ---

          In addition, the child is 12. What prevents them from walking home to your residence? The other parent is not present and won't be until 11:00 PM. This is one of those rare situations where I will offer up some bad advice as the other parent's conduct is so stupid.

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          • #35
            Childcare expenses also only qualify with corrsponding receipts - which most 'babysitters' don't provide.

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            • #36
              Is there anything in your order for right of first refusal?

              Im with blink on the receipts. Id be calling her on it. Tell her you want proof of her new schedule and proper receipts.

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              • #37
                Ask for sole custody. This is grounds for it, a parent who is unavailable for their kids is not fit for custody.

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