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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 01-31-2022, 02:35 AM
trueblue22 trueblue22 is offline
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Default Ex husband paying girlfriend to babysit?

Hi everyone,

Is my ex husband allowed to pay his girlfriend to babysit the children when I am available to watch them?
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  #2  
Old 01-31-2022, 09:33 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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His time, his business. You dont get a say in what he does on his time.
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  #3  
Old 01-31-2022, 12:04 PM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
Hi everyone,

Is my ex husband allowed to pay his girlfriend to babysit the children when I am available to watch them?
You are referring to a Right of First Refusal (ROFR) which rarely gets included in a Court Order. To my understanding based on your posts, you are nowhere near having a Court Order in your case.

ROFR is seldom granted in Court Orders. A ROFR clause may get included into an amicable separation agreement between 2 parents that actually like eachother and want their kids to be with the other parent. If you are in court, its likely you don't fit in that category. ROFR does not get put into orders where parents don't like eachother. ROFR works when the 1 parent can't look after kids during their time and request the other parent to look after them.

Where the parents don't get along, the parent will simply constantly rely on someone else, or someone else, and so on, and will have you as the last option. Even if ROFR were in the court order, it is not enforceable and you would only find out about the missed opportunity to look after kids after the fact, when your kids tell you they spent the weekend with someone other than the other parent.
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Old 01-31-2022, 12:51 PM
trueblue22 trueblue22 is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
His time, his business. You don�t get a say in what he does on his time.
But can he claim this as a childcare expense??
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Old 01-31-2022, 12:52 PM
arbortrail22 arbortrail22 is offline
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Not if its under the table in cash...

If its on payroll and taxes are paid- then maybe....
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Old 01-31-2022, 01:37 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
But can he claim this as a childcare expense??

If he claims it as a section 7 expense then you can dispute it but when it is on his time you cant say anything about it. He can have child care on his time. You cant demand he leave the kids with you. How would you feel if he said he gets the kids when you cant look after them? It works both ways.

Have you disclosed your financials yet so you can move toward settling and you can try for a right of first refusal? Not that it would work but you could raise it.
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Old 01-31-2022, 02:19 PM
trueblue22 trueblue22 is offline
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Originally Posted by arbortrail22 View Post
Not if its under the table in cash...

If its on payroll and taxes are paid- then maybe....
She is paying taxes on it. It was included in her income. But she's his girlfriend. How would this even qualify as a section 7?
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Old 01-31-2022, 02:19 PM
trueblue22 trueblue22 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
If he claims it as a section 7 expense then you can dispute it but when it is on his time you can�t say anything about it. He can have child care on his time. You can�t demand he leave the kids with you. How would you feel if he said he gets the kids when you can�t look after them? It works both ways.

Have you disclosed your financials yet so you can move toward settling and you can try for a right of first refusal? Not that it would work but you could raise it.
I'm not disputing him leaving the children with her. But I object to him paying her when she's his girlfriend.
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Old 01-31-2022, 02:54 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
I'm not disputing him leaving the children with her. But I object to him paying her when she's his girlfriend.
This is the first time I have agreed with you on something. A court will probably not consider it a reasonable S7.
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Old 01-31-2022, 02:55 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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How on earth do you know if hes paying her? Not to mention its his money and he can do what he wants with it.

This is your biggest problemyour sense of entitlement. You arent married anymore. He can do what he wants and spend what he wants. Unless he is asking you to pay your share, you dont get a say.
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