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  • #16
    Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
    I don't know enough on this subject but there is a form for making offers and it includes the legal terms presented. You can sent of many at the same time and make sections severable..


    I am hoping others here will state what is required for an effective offer.
    I could be wrong but when I reviewed previous posts it was saying offers could be done through anything (email, letter, template, even a piece of paper)

    I’ve never received one from OP so I was going off of a formal looking letter

    Comment


    • #17
      Your biggest problem is you are way too wordy. Keep it simple. Did they propose a solution? Another option? A suggestion? Have you looked up a few therapists?

      Suggestion…

      Dear opposing counsel,

      Based on the current situation between your client and our son, I have conducted some research and found the following therapists who specialize in reunification type therapy and/or parent child relationships. Here are the names and numbers. I will ensure our son is in attendance at sessions with his father and one of these therapists. Please provide details on who he has chosen and the appointment times.

      I welcome any other suggestions for discussion however I will not participate in dispute resolution recommended by your client as it will not resolve the problems between him and our son.

      If I do not hear from you or your client within a week on this offer I will seek an order for supervised access and other measures the court deems appropriate.

      Comment


      • #18
        Here is the start to the new Offer to Settle I was going to send after finding out CAS cannot do mediation between a child and parent AND my ex denied mediation through CAS.

        Dear [Opposing Counsel]

        [Introduction text]

        Part of the Order I am seeking through my motion is reunification therapy between [the child] and your client. Due to the high cost of reunification therapy ranging in the $12,000 - $15,000 range, I am resorting to seeking that that through an Order as a last resort. What I am asking is if your client would be willing to participate in therapy with [the child]? I know your client sought to conduct therapy through [Ex's counsellor], however, while she may be qualified to assist your client, she is not qualified in dealing while child related matters, especially as it relates to reunification. As such, below is my Offer to Settle:

        1. Both parties shall facilitate the participation of [the child] in therapy, the object of which will be to re-establish a meaningful relationship between Jackson and your client;

        2. by no later than May 31, 2022 your client shall provide to me the qualifications, rates and details as to the availability of the three therapists proposed by your client, and his choice of therapist. At that time, I shall have seven days from the receipt of your clients information (as above) to consider whether I agree with his choice. This selection shall be binding until further Ordered;

        3. Both parties shall sign the therapist’s agreement. Both parties shall pay fifty per cent (50%) of any initial financial retainer required by the therapist within ten (10) days of the date that the therapist sends his/her retainer to them. Until further Order of the court, both parties shall pay any further retainer as the therapist may require within two weeks of the date of any such request;

        4. Both parties shall comply with all of the conditions of the therapist’s agreement;

        5. until further Ordered I shall be responsible for transporting or facilitating the transport of [the child] to and from their appointments with the therapist;

        6. in the event that either party fails to pay his or her share of the costs of the therapist’s further retainer, the Order will be deemed as breached;

        7. the involvement of the therapist shall continue until further Order or until the therapist deems that it is not in the best interests of [the child] to continue with the process in which event the therapist shall immediately submit their report stating that claim;

        8. the therapist may interview other professionals or persons deemed necessary. Both parties shall sign any releases that may be requested by the therapist within three (3) days of the request being made whether the request is made in writing or otherwise;

        9. the therapist shall have the authority to determine and recommend to both parties a timeline for access for [the child] with your client, including telephone and other electronic contact;

        10. Both parties shall refrain from scheduling any activities or lessons for [the child] which would interfere with the therapist’s scheduled times with [the child]. It is understood that in order to facilitate the therapist’s schedule, [the child] may have to miss school or other organized activity to attend therapy;

        11. neither party shall discuss any aspect of the therapy process with [the child] unless first discussed with and approved by, or directed to do so by, the therapist. Without limiting its generality, such information should be restricted to the purpose of the therapy, the therapeutic process, confidentiality, and the role of the therapist;

        12. the therapist shall have the authority to engage additional professionals as he or she deems necessary to assist in this process and any such professional’s fees shall be paid by the therapist out of their financial retainer. The therapist may recommend other persons to facilitate and assist in implementing a parenting schedule for [the child]; and

        13. neither party nor any other person who participates in the therapeutic reintegration process shall record any aspect of the therapy unless that has been specifically agreed in writing, and in advance, by the therapist.


        Now I am just trying to find wording that will allow for an agreement that my Ex won't keep showing up to try and pick up my Son without using "temporary suspension of parenting-time" as OP refuses to agree to it.

        Can I request a written agreement saying my ex wont try and pick up my Son until deemed appropriate through the therapist and that he will not seek repercussions through the court in doing so?

        I also want to add that at the conclusion of the therapy, any lost parenting-time would be made up. I just don't know how to word it.

        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
        Your biggest problem is you are way too wordy. Keep it simple. Did they propose a solution? Another option? A suggestion? Have you looked up a few therapists?

        Suggestion�

        Dear opposing counsel,

        Based on the current situation between your client and our son, I have conducted some research and found the following therapists who specialize in reunification type therapy and/or parent child relationships. Here are the names and numbers. I will ensure our son is in attendance at sessions with his father and one of these therapists. Please provide details on who he has chosen and the appointment times.

        I welcome any other suggestions for discussion however I will not participate in dispute resolution recommended by your client as it will not resolve the problems between him and our son.

        If I do not hear from you or your client within a week on this offer I will seek an order for supervised access and other measures the court deems appropriate.
        I am a very wordy person. I will freely admit to that. I like to express as much information as I can.

        The only thing OP has stated was Child Protection Mediation however as of yesterday, my ex has told me he is not going to do it. I have mentioned this to OP a few times with zero acknowledgment.

        Would supervised access be more appropriate than a temporary suspension access until son can conduct therapy and ex can complete various courses?

        I am not trying to stick it to my ex, I am just trying to find the most appropriate solutions to this problem.
        Last edited by Hide on Bush; 04-26-2022, 08:06 PM.

        Comment


        • #19
          Still too wordy

          Dear [Opposing Counsel]

          [Introduction text]KEEP IT SHORT

          CAS does not offer mediation between a parent and child. Further, the issue is not between myself and your client.

          Will your client participate in therapy with [the child]? If yes, here are the names and numbers of three counsellors able to conduct parent/child therapy. I will only agree to one of these three named practitioners.

          Should your client agree we can work on a temporary agreement outlining terms. If I do not hear from you by DATE, I will file an updated motion for therapy at your client’s cost.


          Now I am just trying to find wording that will allow for an agreement that my Ex won't keep showing up to try and pick up my Son without using "temporary suspension of parenting-time" as OP refuses to agree to it.
          I would call your local police non emergency line and ask a question about this. Tell them you arent looking for support for a parenting order, just that you are concerned this might be harassment.

          Can I request a written agreement saying my ex wont try and pick up my Son until deemed appropriate through the therapist and that he will not seek repercussions through the court in doing so?
          If you get an order to suspend parenting time the language would be included that he cant go within a certain amount of feet etc.

          I also want to add that at the conclusion of the therapy, any lost parenting-time would be made up. I just don't know how to word it.

          I am a very wordy person. I will freely admit to that. I like to express as much information as I can.

          The only thing OP has stated was Child Protection Mediation however as of yesterday, my ex has told me he is not going to do it. I have mentioned this to OP a few times with zero acknowledgment.

          Would supervised access be more appropriate than a temporary suspension access until son can conduct therapy and ex can complete various courses?

          I am not trying to stick it to my ex, I am just trying to find the most appropriate solutions to this problem.
          None of this is needed.

          Comment


          • #20
            Shorter, drop all narrative. What you think is not important to them. Take it out.

            Don't say this is not possible so I am selecting this other thing. Just select the other thing.

            If you are correcting them them say, I called x and they informed me what you asked is not possible, please send your reference to consider. As an alternate....


            Shorter

            Comment


            • #21
              Is an appropriate offer one that includes the same terms I am seeking through my motion minus the seeking of costs?

              Comment


              • #22
                I wouldnt make this correspondence and offer. I would tell them what you are open to and ask for a suggestion. You can do a formal offer with your motion. The reason being that you can note in your motion that you asked them twice about this and they refused.

                Comment


                • #23
                  I dunno what rockscan said cause they are on ignore :-(

                  FLR 18 (11):
                  (11) If an accepted offer does not deal with costs, either party is entitled to ask the court for costs. O. Reg. 114/99, r. 18 (11).

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Just wondering why you need to go to file in court and not just let status quo continue. Make him file for parenting time... ignore the rest....

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by arbortrail22 View Post
                      Just wondering why you need to go to file in court and not just let status quo continue. Make him file for parenting time... ignore the rest....
                      Right now I'm worried that if I don't get the courts involved then nothing is going to change between my son and my ex's relationship. Further, I believe my ex will file for contempt because my son wont go with my ex which is against the current order.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Plus there were financial aspects of your filing correct?

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                          Plus there were financial aspects of your filing correct?
                          Only in the sense that if my ex was putting me in the position to file through the courts I was going to seek costs.

                          I never once sought costs of any sort if the courts weren't involved.

                          Ex made $100,000 more in 2021 then he did in 2020, and I never sought to raise CS or s7. I only sought to do it when ex filed a motion to lower s7 because he did not agree my son should be in summer camp nor participating in hockey.

                          I've never been about the money. I just want my son to be happy. At the end of the day, if my son had a good relationship with his father, my life becomes so much easier.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            My comment was more along the lines of it isn’t status quo as he owes support. If he is going to bully your son then he can pay his full support amounts.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                              My comment was more along the lines of it isn�t status quo as he owes support. If he is going to bully your son then he can pay his full support amounts.
                              Oh absolutely. I have been debating dealing with the CS and s7 side but I don't want to look greedy dealing with the CS and s7 side of the matter when my son is currently in this situation. I don't want to set the narrative that my focus is around finances because my ex would jump on that faster than anything.

                              I had never asked to raise any of the support I got, and the one time I requested an alteration in s7 as my ex went from $70,000 to $171,000 per year, I became the "greedy" parent and they have been using that narrative ever since.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                CS is the right of the child so they can claim whatever they want. A judge sees it as the child’s money and if he is making more, he should be paying more.

                                Comment

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