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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 09-07-2020, 08:48 AM
nofrills nofrills is offline
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Default Ex has failed to return the kids to me today. What do I do?

Hi everyone,

here is some background, I share custody of my two kids (7 and 9) with my ex. We have an agreed schedule and separation agreement in place.

We had agreed that she could have the kids this long weekend from Thursday to Monday (today) and that she would be taking them to their grandparents. Midway though the weekend, she unilaterally tells me the kids are going to stay the week. Kids think they are staying for the week and she is getting the kids to call me to tell me they are staying.

I disagree and let her know I did not agree to it. We try to negotiate a schedule where they can stay a little longer where I get my parenting time back, but no success. I even offer to pick them up at another date. Today, she is only bringing one of the kids back.

This is the second time she has failed to deliver the kids to me this year.

1. What can I do, other than writing her a letter of non-perfomance and failing to deliver.

2. Are there any consequenses and how do I enforce?

3. Any ideas how to I get my other kid back for the week?

thanks
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Old 09-07-2020, 07:39 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Unfortunately, the government only enforces money, they do not enforce parenting time. It must be incredibly frustrating.

I would offer her, in writing, the option between makeup parenting time or court. Not a general parenting time, a specific parenting time of your choosing. Hopefully one that starts right when your time ends, so you can simply keep the kids and not rely on her for it to happen.

"I do not consent to this unilateral change in the parenting time provisions of our separation agreement. It would be in the best interests of our children if we followed our separation agreement.

For this one instance only, I will take makeup parenting time from noon September 13th to noon September 17th. Unless I hear otherwise from you, I will assume that you are in agreement.

If you do not agree with this parenting time, please provide me with the contact information for your lawyer so we can move to court rapidly to resolve this impasse with minimal legal expense. I will try to get the earliest court date possible."
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Old 09-08-2020, 04:20 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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So is that how it works for non-compliance with separation agreements and court orders that are non-finance related? Just notify the other parent that they are neglecting to follow the agreement, and document for when (or if) you need to use the instance as evidence in court? By the time you get to court, it could be "old news", such as "And 2 years ago, they didn't follow the parenting plan for a short period of time..." Court orders and separation agreements are filled with crap that cannot be enforced (ie: don't badtalk the other parent) and would likely be disregarded if brought to attention of a judge.
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Old 09-09-2020, 03:54 PM
nofrills nofrills is offline
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Completely frustrating.

Other than this, it seems like I can only keep track of it. No enforceability or accountablity unless you go to court.

I almost feel like breaking the rules myself to keep it a level playing field. If I can't enforce it, then she can't enforce it on me either and knowing there are no real consequences then only thing holding me back from doing the same is my integrity.

I hope what I hold true pays off, because it really sucks knowing this.
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Old 09-09-2020, 11:05 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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There was a decision today that found a parent in contempt of court for overholding a child past the agreed dates in the separation agreement/order. It appears it was their first time violating th agreement too. So, some judges do take overholding seriously.

https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...0onsc5284.html
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Old 09-09-2020, 11:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tilt View Post
There was a decision today that found a parent in contempt of court for overholding a child past the agreed dates in the separation agreement/order. It appears it was their first time violating th agreement too. So, some judges do take overholding seriously.

https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...0onsc5284.html
I got excited for a second, but in this case the overholding parent was the NCP.

Still a very useful case that might be useful for a NCP, if they can argue that a CP should be treated in the same way.

I do note that the only recourse available to the CP was the courts, which points to the direction that nofrills will have to take to secure his parenting time.
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