What age can children decide?

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

If police are called to force child and child refuses...they certainly arent going to arrrest the child

[NBDad]

No, but the non custodial parent can bring a motion of contempt against the custodial parent and otherwise make your life miserable.

Whether or not it'll be successful is another matter entirely, and would depend on the facts of the individual situation.

The bottom line is that if there is court ordered access, or any kind of legal contract/agreement that stipulates access, then the Custodial parent has a LEGAL OBLIGATION to enforce it. If the minor child kicks up a stink and says they don't want to go, you make them.

If it's THAT traumatic for them, then hussle your butt down to the local courthouse and have it changed.

At 14 the child's wishes are a virtual certainty of being made into the new access order, but until you actually DO THAT, the existing arrangement would be in effect and you would have a legal obligation to enforce it.

Do you allow the 14 year old to be the sole decision maker with respect to the legal aspects of his life? Of course not. You allow him input, and teach him how to be an adult about things. Choices and consequences. Sometimes that means doing things we don't like until we follow the proper process to have things dealt with correctly. The whole right way of doing things vs. wrong way of doing things.

If he doesn't like going and doesn't want to anymore, and is mature and articulate enough to express that belief, then your choice boils down to get the ex to agree to an amendment, or go to court and have it changed.

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

I think this is an awesome topic...because it is important to know what our children can and cannot do legally, if a parent forces the child to have access with the NCP but the child refuses who is in contempt?

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

Court oder, domestic contract or not, will a court or police hold the child in contempt if he/she refuses to partake in access?

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

Hypothetical lets say the police drive the child to have his her access at 14 and the child runs away is this a good thing? Even IF there is a court order that says the child MUST have acces 2 weekends a month, and the child refuses ...so what do you say in motion ...your hounour my child doesnt want to be with his/her other parent at all and says ther is no court order that can make him/her

[NBDad]

The custodial parent would be in contempt for allowing the minor child to make the decision and not enforcing their legal obligation.

A minor child does not get to make the decision on whether they wish to go or not if there is a legal document stating otherwise.

Regardless of whether the police will get involved or not (99% of the time they WON'T 1. because it's a FAMILY LAW matter, which they don't deal with and 2. barring a police enforcement clause, they won't deal with it anyway)

Here's a question, same scenario, but the existing order has a police enforcement clause in it. Does the minor child have to go? Here's a hint, the answer is YES, and if you don't enforce it, depending on the wording, you could be spending a night in jail if you don't.

[KeepSmiling]

Has it ever happened?

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

So if there is police enforcement and child refuses then what?

[NBDad]

Court oder, domestic contract or not, will a court or police hold the child in contempt if he/she refuses to partake in access?

Police aren't involved, unless there is a criminal offense being committed OR the access agreement has a police enforcement clause in it. It wouldn't be the CHILD that would in contempt...it'd be the CUSTODIAL PARENT who would be.

ypothetical lets say the police drive the child to have his her access at 14 and the child runs away is this a good thing? Even IF there is a court order that says the child MUST have acces 2 weekends a month, and the child refuses ...so what do you say in motion ...your hounour my child doesnt want to be with his/her other parent at all and says ther is no court order that can make him/her

At 14 I would hope he can read and write sufficiently to file his own affidavit regarding his wishes surrounding access. Them you simply go to court to have his wishes (as evidenced by the affidavit) integrated into the existing arrangement.

[NBDad]

So if there is police enforcement and child refuses then what?

Then the kid is escorted there by the police, and the Custodial parent may have to pack their soap on a rope for a night.

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

So let me get this str8 the custodial parent gets thrown in jail because even though they tell the child they MUST go and the child refuses what are we supposed to do hog tie em at 14 and drag em there and sit on them to make them stay?

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

If a child at 14 can consent to having sex with someone who is no more themn 5 years younger....i mean lets get real, and at 14 they can get served with a murder charge....c'mon now

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

I would love to see this in court Judge's telling kids theyre going to jail for not wanting to have access time with their NCP

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

I believe in equal parenting and I am all for c-422 but in some situations wih kids custody and access there is some things like this that really need to be looked at

[NBDad]

So let me get this str8 the custodial parent gets thrown in jail because even though they tell the child they MUST go and the child refuses

Potentially. It depends on how the clause is worded, which itself would depend on the individual circumstances. If there is a history of denial of access or alleged denial of access, or parental alienation, then yes, it's possible this could come up.

what are we supposed to do hog tie em at 14 and drag em there and sit on them to make them stay?

No, you be a parent and make him. Then when he gets home, you punish him for his behavior, explain to him WHY it wasn't cool, and explain that he has to attend the access until you deal with things correctly. Then you go out and actually deal with things correctly.

You basically be a role model for him, teach him that sometimes we have to do things we don't like until we can deal with things properly, and otherwise prepare him to be a productive little member of society.

What would you do if he refused to go to school? Refused to do his homework or his chores? Those aren't any different from refusing to go to his mother's.

Does he get to make every single decision himself without any parental oversight at all?