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  • #16
    I understand rockscan, but you said he never sent the form in?

    So his new CS amount for 1 kid is more than what he was paying before for 2 kids? They are sending her the amount for 2 kids. He needs to send in the form to have the kid not at home taken off. If he doesn't and she does notify them, they will the amount for both kids... a lot more than what he is currently paying.

    My husband's kids were 9 years apart. He didn't send in the form when the oldest was no longer eligible, so paid for the oldest for another 9 years. She certainly wasn't going to notify FRO.

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    • #17
      His kids are five years apart. His lawyer told him not to do anything and let her deal with it since their cs payments were working fine, she just was angry about it going down and thought FRO would calculate it and go after him. Until his ex is willing to get off her arse and do something shes getting less than what shes supposed to and by that time cs for two kids will be done.

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      • #18
        So as an update, I spoke to FRO today and my worse fears are indeed true. Because my agreement does not have CS amounts in line with the CS guidelines, they cannot adjust the amount downward as 2 of the 3 kids are now out of school. No amount of convincing (and I even had the number from CSG) did the trick.

        Even worse, when my last child finishes school in 11 months, my ex must agree that CS is over, otherwise the FRO will continue to enforce. I asked them "so you will enforce even if all 3 kids are married with their own kids and I provide all the evidence you would ever need?" and their response was "Yes".

        I must go through more mediation/arbitration to get it revised, which means tens of thousands more in legal fees because my ex will not discuss ending CS unless SS is greatly increased.

        Oh the joys of divorces...never ending grief and despair!!!

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        • #19
          I dont think you need mediation. The kids are no longer children of the marriage. File a motion to change and be done with it.

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          • #20
            My agreement says any issues are to be dealt with via mediation and arbitration. Wouldn't that pose a problem if I filed such a motion through the courts?

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            • #21
              Originally posted by KW_Divorced View Post
              My agreement says any issues are to be dealt with via mediation and arbitration. Wouldn't that pose a problem if I filed such a motion through the courts?
              not sure if this will work in your case considering there is more then one child. Part way down they talk about stopping enforcement while the question of termination is going through the courts. Maybe figure out how much it would be just paying for the kid(s) who support is still required for an pay that?? That way you wont get dinged for arrears once this is settled.

              Termination of Child Support in Ontario // Solution to Your Support Payment and Family Responsibility Office (FRO) Problems<

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              • #22
                It might be worth speaking to a lawyer about your situation. The kids situations have changed. They are either on their own or done school so technically they are no longer children of the marriage.

                Or adversely you could offer mediation to end cs, give her a deadline to reply and then move to filing. If she doesnt agree to mediation or you go and walk out, you tried and it failed.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by KW_Divorced View Post
                  My agreement says any issues are to be dealt with via mediation and arbitration. Wouldn't that pose a problem if I filed such a motion through the courts?
                  I could be way off but it seems to me that you don't have an "issue" that needs resolving. This isn't something that the clause in your agreement is
                  meant to cover as a dispute. You have a clear legal right to something that is enshrined in the family law statutes. You just have to ask a judge for it via a motion. It should be a no brainer motion with costs if she tries to fight it. If it were me i would pay a lawyer $500 to advise you if i was missing anything just to be safe and then file a motion as self rep if money is tight.

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                  • #24
                    I would never pay something I didn't I think had to pay. I would stop right away, tell her and FRO that kids are out of school. If people escalate then I'd deal with it. If you can actually stop paying, then stop paying and let her make the disingeneous move of trying to get moe payment.

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                    • #25
                      ^ he says he called FRO and they said he can't stop without an order.

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                      • #26
                        That is correct. Unless there is an order or my ex agrees that CS ends, I am stuck paying it even though 2 of my 3 kids are no longer eligible. To me, it's nuts that FRO can't automatically terminate CS upon proof being given to them. How ludicrous that the recipient has to "agree" before the termination can be granted?

                        A number of recipients I know absolutely love the tax free spousal support and they have no motivation to agree. Anyone with half a brain can figure this one out...

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                        • #27
                          We can all agree that the FRO should by rights automatically end in this case and share your anger that it doesn't. I know you are speaking from a place of frustration and feelings of helplessness, but your situation appears to me and others in this thread be better than it seems to you right now. It's true that if you get your wife to agree that would indeed be the easiest and cheapest. However, i don't think you need a long and expensive mediation or court battle. Assuming the facts are exactly as you've stated then all you should need is a simple motion requesting the end of child support (for the kids who no longer qualify). A judge will almost certainly sign off on it. A lot of people wouldn't even bother with a lawyer for a simple motion like that. If I had the money I would probably get one if it were me but I would consider just filing it myself to save money if things were tight. If your ex-wife is aware of the law and has half a brain, she may possibly agree before it even gets in front of a judge... as she would also possibly be penalized with some of your legal bill if she tries to fight it. No longer a child of the marriage is a concept that is enshrined in law, and no agreement even if it states you have to find a unicorn first or other nonsense has authority over that.


                          NB: not legal advice, I am not a lawyer, just some random on the Internet. I'm not even at your point yet and won't be for a few years. But based on my knowledge of how this works the power is with you right now...but you have to take action.

                          Can anyone else comment, am I right here?

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                          • #28
                            I very much appreciate all the perspectives. I have a lawyer; one who drafted and helped me through all of this and his opinion is that we should continue mediation. In the past 2 years, I have spent over $14,000 in legal fees and have gotten absolutely nowhere trying to resolve continued CS/SS issues.

                            So the merry go round continues with my lawyer, my ex and her lawyer. Nothing resolved yet. Our last mediation session was last year and we are at a standstill.

                            I think I should seek alternative legal advice and likely proceed with a motion to change. Of course, it could backfire as judges frequently look to address any arrears based issues. Mine is very complicated as kids have come and gone frequently during this time, and my ex wants full table amounts while there appears to be large discretion as to how to treat arrears in general. I will note that I do not pay the CSG table amounts, but an amount both my ex and all lawyers agreed to.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by KW_Divorced View Post
                              I very much appreciate all the perspectives. I have a lawyer; one who drafted and helped me through all of this and his opinion is that we should continue mediation. In the past 2 years, I have spent over $14,000 in legal fees and have gotten absolutely nowhere trying to resolve continued CS/SS issues.

                              So the merry go round continues with my lawyer, my ex and her lawyer. Nothing resolved yet. Our last mediation session was last year and we are at a standstill.

                              I think I should seek alternative legal advice and likely proceed with a motion to change. Of course, it could backfire as judges frequently look to address any arrears based issues. Mine is very complicated as kids have come and gone frequently during this time, and my ex wants full table amounts while there appears to be large discretion as to how to treat arrears in general. I will note that I do not pay the CSG table amounts, but an amount both my ex and all lawyers agreed to.
                              Ah yes, I understand now. What I'm hearing you say is that you think that your ex-wife would respond to a motion to end child support with a answer that will contain a request for retroactive child and spousal support payments that she feels are owed (rightly or not). If there is a possibility of a judge siding with her (which your lawyer seems to feel there might be, also rightly or not) this could get complicated quickly.

                              But if she feels these are owed, my understanding there is also nothing stopping her from seeking it whenever she likes. . . so although this is a legit fear I would say press on and get it over with. That's probably her plan. . . drag out the mediation as long as she can and then nail you for arrears at the end when it goes in front of a judge. It's not like she's going to forgive that imagined debt. So some would say stop the bleeding now.

                              In your case I think maybe a fresh perspective from a new lawyer might not be a bad idea.

                              If you go to motion, yes you may have to face some arrears issues, and you may not like the final answer from a judge, but it has to be better than never knowing where you stand. When I was going through all this a few years ago it was the not knowing that kept me up at night more than the actual money. Don't get me wrong, paying the money is tough, but fear of the unknown is tougher.

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                              • #30
                                Then what you could do is calculate how much full table for the months they were home and a smalleramount for the months they werent. Thats your "magic" number. You tell her youre filing a motion to change. Youve tried mediation and it hasnt gotten you anywhere. The kids are grown and done school and you would like to provide financial assistance of any kind directly to them. Period. Then you get a new effing lawyer because this one is an idiot. And prior to the motion you offer her the magic number as a payout. When she says no and goes to court you point out you followed an order, your kids were no longer children of the marriage, you offered her retro arrears for full table amounts even though your order didnt specify it and she still refused.

                                Just an idea, not a lawyer but if you truly want off this merry go round you will get off it.

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