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Documentary on the male experience in separation and divorce

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  • #16
    You are under the assumption that everyone flocking to this documentary is going to be unstable.

    It just might be possible for people who are genuinely interested may be of sound mind.

    I, for one will NOT participate because i am 8-9 hours away.

    Nevertheless i believe that this documentary can serve as a warning for people who may think about going into court or creating conflict. Perhaps it would rival the MIP program or make a stronger case because of live testimonies.

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by murphyslaw View Post
      Terrible idea.The only people who would sign up are high conflict emotional unbalanced men.They are already making things difficult for themselves and their families in the court.A documentary like this shown in court could be the final nail in their prospective coffins.Worse this would end up on Youtube and their children and children's friends would see it.Many on here are fragile ,this seems like taking advantage of their vulnerability, for your own profit.

      Nothing about a breakup is fun ,nothing about custody issues is fun,its all messy and difficult.Some poor soul breaking down during filming then his boss seeing it on Tv...Poor Bob doesn't get promotion because he seems like he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Cant you see how you could make a bad situation so much worse?
      I'm just curious, why do you assume that the men will be breaking down while taping this? Have you thought that positive stories could come from this? And why is that you say that men are making things difficult for their families in court, I would say both sides can be accused of this? I don't understand why somebody would be so against this.

      I find your statements further cement the need for a documentary like this, to possibly help dispel the assumptions that some woman/men have.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
        I'm just curious, why do you assume that the men will be breaking down while taping this? Have you thought that positive stories could come from this? And why is that you say that men are making things difficult for their families in court, I would say both sides can be accused of this? I don't understand why somebody would be so against this.

        I find your statements further cement the need for a documentary like this, to possibly help dispel the assumptions that some woman/men have.
        Agreed. There seems to be a presumption in this forum assuming that people are unstable and would do anything to get into the public eye to tell their side of the story.

        Again this reinforces the idea that MIP just isn't all that great mainly because there is no testimonies. People would take the matter seriously when they hear personal stories to this and to which be a more powerful tool than MIP.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by SynGreis View Post
          Agreed. There seems to be a presumption in this forum assuming that people are unstable and would do anything to get into the public eye to tell their side of the story.

          Again this reinforces the idea that MIP just isn't all that great mainly because there is no testimonies. People would take the matter seriously when they hear personal stories to this and to which be a more powerful tool than MIP.
          What seems to shock me most is that somebody would post derogatory comments about another member to sway the original op from using that member in their documentary. What are people so scared of, the truth coming out? It is up to the op to interview and decide who they want to use. I hope that I can always keep an open mind when it come to the opposite sex and their life struggles.

          Comment


          • #20
            Do you honestly believe that this documentary is to inform the public as to solutions or make useful suggestions to help those going through divorce? If there is a need for this then I would reccomend inviting judges and family lawyers and professionals explaining the law, provide information to help guide men (women) with this horrible concept of divorce.
            Perspectives are just that--a subjective, bias view of what YOU are going through.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by SteveB View Post
              You misunderstand what we are trying to accomplish. As I mentioned above, this is not therapy, nor is it profiteering.
              Then, if it is not therapy, what is it? A miss guided political statement?

              Originally posted by SteveB View Post
              The response we have received so far is very supportive.
              Names? Who is supportive? Justices? MPs? Or just disgruntled parents who feel they have "lost" in court?

              Originally posted by SteveB View Post
              Most people we have spoken with have expressed their dismay that this topic is unexamined and have a great desire to see it explored in greater depth.
              Feel free to explore my 2500+ postings to see that this topic is examined, at great detail, by clinicians, professionals and qualified individuals. Has been explored in case law (jurisprudence) and is even the subject of great materials produced by the Law Society, justices in our country (i.e. Justice Brownstone) and other qualified individuals.

              Originally posted by SteveB View Post
              I am sorry that you don't share this view, however I hope you can help others find another venue for the mental health / support issues that you refer to above since this is not our focus.
              Your focus is unclear? That men are victims of the court system? Victims of feminism? This isn't the case. Parents are often their own worst enemy before the court.

              Good Luck!
              Tayken

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                Do you honestly believe that this documentary is to inform the public as to solutions or make useful suggestions to help those going through divorce? If there is a need for this then I would reccomend inviting judges and family lawyers and professionals explaining the law, provide information to help guide men (women) with this horrible concept of divorce.
                Perspectives are just that--a subjective, bias view of what YOU are going through.
                I second Momforever1956's sentiments regarding this "documentary".

                Especially the quoted text highlighted.

                Subjective studies have no value and are just a platform for more confusion for everyone involved.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by SteveB View Post
                  Clearly this documentary is not for you. However, it is a topic of great interest to many others, who understand that a conversation on the topic is important.
                  Really, what a far reaching statement to make without having read my postings on this site. Further demonstrating the motivations of the documentary possibly.

                  I have this conversation every day, I don't label it, profit from it, and try to gain "fame" by making a movie from it either.

                  Here is a prime example just from today:

                  http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...duction-13523/

                  Originally posted by SteveB View Post
                  We cannot cover all areas at one time, and that is not to say that other perspectives are not valid. This is intended to be but one of many voices.
                  Who is "we"?

                  You may want to contact the poster of this thread to see how their "documentary" is going as well:

                  Documentary: The Problem with Family Court Judges and Lawyers

                  http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...lawyers-12446/
                  Last edited by Tayken; 10-31-2012, 12:46 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                    Do you honestly believe that this documentary is to inform the public as to solutions or make useful suggestions to help those going through divorce? If there is a need for this then I would reccomend inviting judges and family lawyers and professionals explaining the law, provide information to help guide men (women) with this horrible concept of divorce.
                    Perspectives are just that--a subjective, bias view of what YOU are going through.
                    I think the possibility is there. The documentary make not make "suggestions", but maybe a father could watch the documentary and see what behaviours helped or hindered another father in court? I like to keep an open mind, at least try to with all issues.

                    I think your recommendation to invite the judges/family lawyers is great, it would be nice to see this included in the documentary.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      It is one thing to come on a public forum and "bitch" and "vent" about your situation under pseudo name. But this forum allows feedback and different perspectives and it becomes a dialogue.
                      It is totally another thing to go PUBLIC and misguide and misinform with simple examples of how 'bad' the system is.
                      Trust me on this one, for every woman who has suffered or been giving a bum deal there is the other side of the equation with a man getting a bum deal. So what is the point? I guess its a venue to publicly bitch, which is so counter-productive and generally very simple minded.
                      To suggest we need reform or be guided with information is very different than having a bunch of angry looooosers vent about their psycho x's.
                      Why don't you consider inviting those who are involved in making laws and those who enforce the laws to explain, "How the system works and why, how it can improved, where it works and where it fails", that would be informative and an intelligent conversation,

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                        It is one thing to come on a public forum and "bitch" and "vent" about your situation under pseudo name. But this forum allows feedback and different perspectives and it becomes a dialogue.

                        It is totally another thing to go PUBLIC and misguide and misinform with simple examples of how 'bad' the system is.
                        More from MomForever1956 that I totally agree with. Documentaries are not dialogue but a shotgun blast of the person who created the "artwork's" subjective opinions.

                        Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                        Trust me on this one, for every woman who has suffered or been giving a bum deal there is the other side of the equation with a man getting a bum deal.
                        That is because possibly Axis II disorders of the personality and possibly highly conflicted individuals come in all genders, sexual orientations and races.

                        Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                        So what is the point? I guess its a venue to publicly bitch, which is so counter-productive and generally very simple minded.

                        To suggest we need reform or be guided with information is very different than having a bunch of angry looooosers vent about their psycho x's.
                        Why don't you consider inviting those who are involved in making laws and those who enforce the laws to explain, "How the system works and why, how it can improved, where it works and where it fails", that would be informative and an intelligent conversation,
                        Because it has already been done hundreds of times over and here is just a more recent example of it, professionally written, clinically cited (properly) and provides an objective view and from a professional:

                        CUSTODY, ACCESS AND PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY
                        The Search for a Just and Equitable Standard
                        Edward Kruk, M.S.W., Ph.D.
                        The University of British Columbia
                        December, 2008

                        http://www.fira.ca/cms/documents/181/April7_Kruk.pdf

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                          Then, if it is not therapy, what is it? A miss guided political statement?



                          Names? Who is supportive? Justices? MPs? Or just disgruntled parents who feel they have "lost" in court?



                          Feel free to explore my 2500+ postings to see that this topic is examined, at great detail, by clinicians, professionals and qualified individuals. Has been explored in case law (jurisprudence) and is even the subject of great materials produced by the Law Society, justices in our country (i.e. Justice Brownstone) and other qualified individuals.



                          Your focus is unclear? That men are victims of the court system? Victims of feminism? This isn't the case. Parents are often their own worst enemy before the court.

                          Good Luck!
                          Tayken
                          You have made your biases and opposition abundantly clear.

                          We are presenting a male perspective with male stories. You are free to ignore those stories, or make your own documentary as you see fit.

                          We have no malicious intent, and I echo the sentiment expressed earlier: why is there so much anger, and fear at the prospect of men telling their stories?

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by SteveB View Post
                            You have made your biases and opposition abundantly clear.

                            We are presenting a male perspective with male stories. You are free to ignore those stories, or make your own documentary as you see fit.

                            We have no malicious intent, and I echo the sentiment expressed earlier: why is there so much anger, and fear at the prospect of men telling their stories?
                            Canada is a wonderful country and allows for all kinds to do as they wish. I sure hope this "documentary" isnt using my tax dollars.
                            This isnt about fear this is about a waste of money and time. One genders perception does not in any way shape or form help, aid, inform and accomplish anything. If anything---one can rant and rant and you don't even give the curtiousy of allowing the other party to explain.

                            It is incredible for example how 2 mediation briefs one from the Male and other from the Female, for the same case (mine) completely reflect the situation such that from one brief you wouldn't even recognize it as being the same case as the other mediation brief.

                            At least on this forum one can respond or give a different perspective of the situation, which would NOT be the case in the venue you describe. What a joke!!!
                            Last edited by momforever1956; 10-31-2012, 01:11 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by SteveB View Post
                              You have made your biases and opposition abundantly clear.
                              My bias is? I continually inquire about your bias but, you fail to respond to my simple questions:

                              1. Who is "we" in your statements?
                              2. Who is financing your project?
                              3. What is your personal relationship to family law, experience and knowledge about matters before the court. Are you a lawyer? You a disgruntled parent? Or a true champion to helping families and namely children?
                              4. Who is your target audience? After watching your movie what do you want the viewer to think? That men get screwed before the court all the time?

                              They don't... Members clip wings all the time on this site. (Inside comment but, feel free to "search" the term "wings" on this site to see a true story for yourself.)


                              Originally posted by SteveB View Post
                              We are presenting a male perspective with male stories. You are free to ignore those stories, or make your own documentary as you see fit.
                              When you come to a public forum you invite critical thinking on your topic, subject and position. You fail continually to put your position forward other than your recruitment of men on this site.

                              Originally posted by SteveB View Post
                              We have no malicious intent, and I echo the sentiment expressed earlier: why is there so much anger, and fear at the prospect of men telling their stories?
                              There is no fear on men "telling their stories". It happens on this site every day. The challenge is that "stories" are statements of "belief" and not grounded in cogent and relevant facts. The stories you present are biased and not reflective of the reality of the situation in family law. Which is about children and not a man / woman issue.

                              Good Luck!
                              Tayken
                              Last edited by Tayken; 10-31-2012, 01:12 PM.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by SteveB View Post
                                You have made your biases and opposition abundantly clear.

                                We are presenting a male perspective with male stories. You are free to ignore those stories, or make your own documentary as you see fit.

                                We have no malicious intent, and I echo the sentiment expressed earlier: why is there so much anger, and fear at the prospect of men telling their stories?
                                Would you be willing to do a totally anonymous interview with me for your "documentary"? Or are you only looking for "men" who have sad stories about the punishments of the court and gender bias?

                                Comment

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