Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #21  
Old 02-18-2020, 01:24 PM
Keepgoing Keepgoing is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 6
Keepgoing is on a distinguished road
Default

It is shared custody. I have been paying my share. Increase if 50% of what I pay has been requested. Before I agree on paying , I have asked for evidence that warrants that increase.
3 month pass by and on monthly basis, I keep on asking. Finally a motion gets served on me and the kids are asked by the EX if their father received it . How sad.

Children in therapy but not parental alienation therapy. As the EX refuses to acknowledge that this is parental alienation and claims that she can’t support the therapy , it will be an uphill battle to enrol in parental alienation therapy.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 02-18-2020, 01:52 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 4,987
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keepgoing View Post
Children in therapy but not parental alienation therapy. As the EX refuses to acknowledge that this is parental alienation and claims that she can’t support the therapy , it will be an uphill battle to enrol in parental alienation therapy.

This isnt alienation. She is INFLUENCING the children and INTERFERING in the relationship but has not alienated them. You still see them. You still have parenting time with them. You can still enforce your time with them.

Alienation is a whole other ball game and you need to stop throwing that term around. You want to stop being marginalized and denied time.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 02-20-2020, 12:45 PM
Keepgoing Keepgoing is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 6
Keepgoing is on a distinguished road
Default

Currently I have access refusal and the EX is claiming that the kids feel unsafe and therefore they will not be encouraged to go see me during access.

The EX is requesting OCL involvement? Anyone had OCL involved? I hear it is like rolling dice in terms of who you get in your case.
Thanks
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 02-20-2020, 01:03 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,885
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keepgoing View Post
Currently I have access refusal and the EX is claiming that the kids feel unsafe and therefore they will not be encouraged to go see me during access.

The EX is requesting OCL involvement? Anyone had OCL involved? I hear it is like rolling dice in terms of who you get in your case.
Thanks

I thought, you were already progressing through court stages, given you said this:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Keepgoing
Alas the final attempt to settle with a judge is next week and if not off to trial. Their single offer was a joke, adding claims and ridiculous changes that were not in the original pleadings.

So where in court process are you then, and what is her motion about? I thought it was just seeking more money? I'm doubtful that OCL would happen at this point, or if that's what the motion addresses.



If you're being denied access, make sure to document it, and try to get her responses denying access, in writing (email). Or if it's texts, I guess - email is better though.



It's helpful, to show in court, you're being denied access, while moving through the motion, especially, when the ex's motion seems to be focused on child-support/or additional money.


Make sure too, to document as well, your ex's "refusal" to support therapy for the kids.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 02-20-2020, 01:18 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,885
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
WorkingDad on here won significant costs in his matter. He was self repped through almost all of it if not all of it if I recall.

As an aside;
I wonder how much of the awarded costs WorkingDad has seen come his way though.



In my court process (it's been long), I've been awarded a few times, some costs, but haven't seen a cent yet. Trying to get them included as part of final order, with child support, to be enforced through FRO. Don't have a high expectation of seeing the costs though.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 03-01-2020, 11:36 AM
Antonius Antonius is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 4
Antonius is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
She is obligated to provide you with parenting time. A simple “I will be at your home to collect our children at x time.” And then get them.
I am in a similar situation. I have court mandated telephone access with my children (13 year old daughter, 14 year old son) and also a liberal access schedule. We have joint custody.

My daughter is going through some emotional problems and says she is hearing voices. Her mother would not take her to see a doctor (she does not even have a GP for the kids) so I took her to my GP who is looking into getting her a therapist.

My daughter asked that she be the one to tell her mother about seeing a therapist so I let her do that.

My wife freaked out. She has told me that she believes that my daughters problems are all my fault and has said that the kids "have unequivocally told (her) they need a break" from me.

Now, I am being denied court mandated telephone access to both my kids. I am told they do not want to see me or talk to me at all. Previously, they looked forward to our time together and now, seemingly all of a sudden, my daughter will not answer my texts, my son is accusing me of beating him, being mentally ill and a drunkard (these allegations are false and the way he speaks about it sounds exactly like things my ex wife has said about me previously) and being the cause of his low self-esteem.

I am also told that my daughter believes that I am the cause for *her* low self-esteem. I don't know what my daughter is actually thinking or feeling because I haven't been able to talk to her in over a month. My ex wife will not answer the phone when I call and the kids will not answer either. And my texts to my daughter go unanswered.

I have missed two access visits and the March Break is coming up. If I just show up at my wife's house to take my daughter for our court appointed access time and she does not want to come with me because of the alienation that has apparently occurred, what should I do?
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 03-01-2020, 12:51 PM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 225
Abba435 is on a distinguished road
Default

At 13 and 14 the saying goes their feet will do the talking. Children at 13, 14,15 have a lot to say when it comes to where they wish to be.
Such a tough situation for the kids. I sincerely hope that they are not actually being influenced that way.
All you can really do is document carefully, try your best to communicate and stay calm.
If your children need psychological counselling this is normally considered to be a joint decision unless an emergency.
You could try to find a therapist for yourself that has experience in high conflict divorce for some independent guidance and to help you manage your own emotions.
There are loads of resources online as well.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 03-01-2020, 09:06 PM
Antonius Antonius is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 4
Antonius is on a distinguished road
Default

My understanding was that 14 was the age at which the kids are not obligated to attend at access visits?

There is no doubt whatsoever that there is parental alienation at work here. There is a very good chance that I will not see either of them again for a long time if there is no legal recourse for me here.

And I am worried sick about my daughter. This is completely out of character for her.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 03-02-2020, 08:59 AM
Tired_Dad Tired_Dad is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 57
Tired_Dad is on a distinguished road
Default

Boy does this hit home... I've been in your situation and am still going through it now. I have 3 daughters and they have all gone through some sort of separation from me. I left their mother (not for anyone else) and it's been one hell of a climb to keep them in my life. I've seen my youngest drift away, when we've had such a strong relationship in the past. My oldest one drift in and away at times... but she's also a new Mom these days. My middle daughter was the most resentful in the past, but has been around more than anyone else. It's not an easy road and I have a ton of proof regarding the alienation. I've been told and have always taken the high road. I've been accused of all sorts of things and has even extended to all my family as well. I would say stay true to who you are, always take the high road and never speak ill of your ex. It's not easy and accusations will always be there. Correct softly and calmly when needed, but don't fight it. They need to blame someone and unfortunately, you appear to be the target. When the time is right, they will come around and want to talk. Prepare for that moment the best you can and stay strong. Seek counselling for yourself now, as it will surely help you through this process. It's going to hurt like hell, but you will make it through this. Prayers for you through this tough time.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 03-02-2020, 09:07 AM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 183
LovingDad1234 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keepgoing View Post
The EX is requesting OCL involvement? Anyone had OCL involved? I hear it is like rolling dice in terms of who you get in your case.
Thanks
There are plenty of threads in this forum on OCL involvement. To receive answers to these questions, it is suggested to search the forum or start a new thread.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Kids starting school formyGirls General Chat 26 09-06-2011 05:55 PM
Help with CS and time with kids deanp Financial Issues 1 01-26-2011 04:49 PM
Poisoning the minds of our kids J_Kitchener2010 Divorce & Family Law 11 10-01-2010 02:01 PM
Spousal Support - help me understand please! Stressed by Ex Financial Issues 38 04-18-2010 11:29 AM
Legal Aid serrona Divorce & Family Law 1 10-27-2006 07:00 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:39 AM.