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  • we were never spouses?

    hello all,

    heres one for you. All the documents up until now have say "separating from my former spouse of ten yrs", "lived in a marriage like relationship for ten years" etc.

    the last letter from the other sides lawyer is stating that they are prepared to argue that we were never spouses. and they are pointing to both our tax returns because we had never filed together. and that i had never admitted to the 'world at large' that we were a couple.

    this is just another line is the string of "specials" that have been flung in my general direction. They appear to be getting very desperate. Has anyone ever heard of this??

    Other than our tax returns all our friends and family have always known we were a couple, as this is how we publicly presented ourselves. it's just another weird, unstable, randoms thought shes trying to put out there.

    she wants the house, she claims it's only hers because her parents put the money in for the down payment as an inheritance, but the money was intended for both of us, and her mother and aunt were my references when we went to get the mortgage loan application. it's crazy!! im on title and mortgage. I have never paid the mortgage, but i have done EVERYTHING to maintain, renovate, upkeep, the property as well as taking care of her for 7yrs while she told me she was disabled. since separation shes become completely well. very suspect.

    I received a large inheritance and invested the money into our property. her sa draft among other things states that she wants the entire house, i get no ss, and that i will not be compensated for any of the major renos, or work, or money i put into our home. its crazy. she wants me to walk away with basically nothing. did i fail to mention she also has a large pension and rdsp that she wants me to have nothing of either?

    now the latest, her claim we were never spouses...any thoughts? has this ever been used in case law?

    thank you

  • #2
    You lived together for 10 years. No matter what you put on your tax return - unless you filed from different addresses - you have plenty of proof of co-habitation.

    Unless she is going to claim that you never slept together, she has no legal recourse here. Just ignore the lawyer's rantings, he is paid to represent her, not you.

    The fact that the house was bought with money that was a gift from the parents is a stronger argument. Your argument that it was intended for both of you is just your word. It is common to get a wedding gift if you have a wedding; it is uncommon for parents to gift a boyfriend who is sleeping with their daughter.

    You being on the title and the mortgage strengthens your claim considerabley. If this were me I would stand my ground, state that the value of the house will be split 50/50 along with all other debts and assets, and just say no to any other suggestion from them.

    Comment


    • #3
      She is right on the fact that you were not legally married and depending on the province you live in the law vary for common law.

      You are in BC so you have the same rights as married couples.

      The fact that you are on the title is good as this will facilitate your claim and prevents her from trying to sale or remortgage.
      Last edited by Moolight; 09-01-2013, 03:27 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        "You being on the title and the mortgage strengthens your claim considerabley. If this were me I would stand my ground, state that the value of the house will be split 50/50 along with all other debts and assets, and just say no to any other suggestion from them."

        Thank you mess, I needed to hear this. the fact is, her parents did give us the money to buy the house, and at the time we bought it, she was apparently "rapidly deteriorating" from her illness. The house in question is a 2400sq ft, three bdroom, two bathroom home. It has extensive landscaping, and is a large cleared lot (ie lots of lawnmowing). They were well aware that she would never be able to maintain it, but they knew from the previous years (7) together that I singlehandedly completely renovated our previous home, I maintained everything myself, I took care of our vehicles and did a major overhaul and upgrades on our truck. All of the parts i paid for (she has stolen my reciepts for the truck, I was out of the house for two monthes before i could find a place to move and during that time she went into my office and took all my reciepts for all of my tools i bought for my work, all my tax returns, and all the reciepts for my office stuff).

        They also gave us a classic car in 2010, intending that i would restore it to its former glory. The car is in her name, but it's interesting to note that from 2006-2012 she wasn't driving, therefore, they gifted us the car KNOWING that i would be the only one driving it. It's really the same argument as the house.

        I will stand my ground. After the jcc, which i still really dont know what to excpect or how to prepare for it. Im unsure as to what to do next. I want the house sold and the proceed divided 50/50. Unlike her, who wants everything, I believe in fairness, I think she should get her 50 of the estate. i am way more reasonable, and a judge will see that.

        the fact of the matter is during the time we lived in our house she was responsible for unloading the dishwasher, and cooking. she also did her own laundry. thats it. i did all other housework, i took care of her, i maintained the property, i maintained all the vehicles and i worked. I am entitled to the 50% and i can't see how a judge would order anything else. they are trying to phych me out telling me "going to trial would be very expensive" "and that i would be wise to accept their offer or risk losing even more through a costly trial" they even gave me several ideas of what they "anticipate" i will be arguing. i think they are in for a huge surprise. i think this strategy is to phych me out, and to make me want to argue what they think i should argue so they can prepare for that. they've given me their whole case, but they have no idea what im actually going to argue. im feeling very confident. thank you so much for the responses. after the jcc, should i file an application to split the house? what is the difference between a motion and an application. they look the same to me.

        Comment


        • #5
          A question

          This was also my case as we were in a common law relationship and we are splitting, and he is refusing to provide financial disclosure, and also when I confronted him that and made an offer to settle as he asked me to draft a separation agreement just between the two of us with no lawyer, he rejected it and now he is talking about hiring a lawyer to represent him, as he is in a better financial situation. He came home as we are still living under the same roof and changed the locks, and locked the bedroom door although we do not sleep together, there is still items in the bedroom that belong to me, and our daughter still loves with us. Does he have the right to change the locks and lock the bedroom while we are still in the middle of a separation but there is nothing concrete, and no process has been done. The house is on his name, and I have been paying mortgage and all other expenses, and all properties and are in dispute. I believe locking the bedroom is questionable and I would like to know what my rights are, as we are not separated physically speaking... I believe he is being guided by a lawyer, and I still do not have a lawyer.

          Thanks.

          Best,

          Quite

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by init'sowntime View Post
            "You being on the title and the mortgage strengthens your claim considerabley. If this were me I would stand my ground, state that the value of the house will be split 50/50 along with all other debts and assets, and just say no to any other suggestion from them."

            Thank you mess, I needed to hear this. the fact is, her parents did give us the money to buy the house, and at the time we bought it, she was apparently "rapidly deteriorating" from her illness. The house in question is a 2400sq ft, three bdroom, two bathroom home. It has extensive landscaping, and is a large cleared lot (ie lots of lawnmowing). They were well aware that she would never be able to maintain it, but they knew from the previous years (7) together that I singlehandedly completely renovated our previous home, I maintained everything myself, I took care of our vehicles and did a major overhaul and upgrades on our truck. All of the parts i paid for (she has stolen my reciepts for the truck, I was out of the house for two monthes before i could find a place to move and during that time she went into my office and took all my reciepts for all of my tools i bought for my work, all my tax returns, and all the reciepts for my office stuff).

            They also gave us a classic car in 2010, intending that i would restore it to its former glory. The car is in her name, but it's interesting to note that from 2006-2012 she wasn't driving, therefore, they gifted us the car KNOWING that i would be the only one driving it. It's really the same argument as the house.

            I will stand my ground. After the jcc, which i still really dont know what to excpect or how to prepare for it. Im unsure as to what to do next. I want the house sold and the proceed divided 50/50. Unlike her, who wants everything, I believe in fairness, I think she should get her 50 of the estate. i am way more reasonable, and a judge will see that.

            the fact of the matter is during the time we lived in our house she was responsible for unloading the dishwasher, and cooking. she also did her own laundry. thats it. i did all other housework, i took care of her, i maintained the property, i maintained all the vehicles and i worked. I am entitled to the 50% and i can't see how a judge would order anything else. they are trying to phych me out telling me "going to trial would be very expensive" "and that i would be wise to accept their offer or risk losing even more through a costly trial" they even gave me several ideas of what they "anticipate" i will be arguing. i think they are in for a huge surprise. i think this strategy is to phych me out, and to make me want to argue what they think i should argue so they can prepare for that. they've given me their whole case, but they have no idea what im actually going to argue. im feeling very confident. thank you so much for the responses. after the jcc, should i file an application to split the house? what is the difference between a motion and an application. they look the same to me.
            You are clearly very emotionally caught up in this, and understandably so. Your ex's lawyers are contributing to this. Ignore them, they work for your ex, and they will do whatever they can to win, even if they don't have a basis in law.

            You should make an offer to settle. Your offer:50/50 for the house. As you weren't married, in most provinces, other assets belong to the individuals. But if both your names are on the mortgage, then the house should be 50/50.

            Comment

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