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  • Feeling beaten

    Hello all.
    History - Divorced 10 years ago and paid Child support for 3 children as per Child Support guidelines on the 15th of every month to FRO (Never a day late)

    Like 90% of the population I expected support to end when kids reached 18years old and that I would get to deal with them directly but my ex wife wad quick to point out that this was not in our divorce agreement and I still had to pay through FRO until kids were done with post secondary education.
    Not happy. Wanted to help them direct but continued to pay through FRO each month.

    Over 10 years my cost of living had risen but income remained the same. I struggled to make payments and ran up an overdraft and two credit cards to insure I kept paying CS on time. I knew one day it would end and that I would have fulfilled my duty as a father supporting his kids.
    This past Spring I was told by my oldest child that her two younger siblings had not gone to school for the past year. They had dropped out and were working full time. I was upset to hear this as my ex wife had not told me but was still collecting support from me for them.
    I contacted her to discuss. I was maxed out financially and at least should have been informed and a support adjustment should have been made. I told her I felt she had cheated me. Why was I sending support if they were not in school? They were working full time and according to them paying for everything themselves. (Ages 19 + 21).
    I said I wanted the money back. I said I wanted to deal direct with my kids. She told me to give support to my oldest (22yr old) who needed money for a 2 month trip to SE Asia and that FRO would be contacting me with a new payment plan for my youngest who was headed off to University. GREAT! Finally some light at the end of the tunnel.

    Then after a long wait it happened. A call from FRO. I was excited to hear the new deal and get it underway.
    Things took a quick turn for the worse. The call from FRO was to let me know they were suspending my drivers licence and contacting my employer to deduct ongoing for my youngest and 50% of what's left for arrears.

    I thought. There has got to be a mistske. My ex wife would not let this happen. I contacted her - she didn't care. I told her I over paid last year and I had given a ton of $ to my oldest under her instruction. I was not in "arrears"
    But she didn't care. I asked her repeatedly to fix it. She collected money from me last year and told me to give direct this year. Why was she trying to collect thois money again?
    Even my two oldest daughters confronted her and told her she was wrong. She told them too that she would fix it but never did.

    So it happened. Two thirds of my last pay cheque were garnished. I was relying on that pay for Christmas. My rent for Jan is going to be impossible to pay.

    I've sacrificed a lot this past 10 years. I have always paid my support, love my kids more than anything and have always given them what they need.

    What kind of world is this...

    Sorry. Long message... wondering if anyone has any advice

  • #2
    Let this be a lesson to you to never trust what anyone, particularly an ex, has to say.

    Your ex might not have been given the money they garnished from you. Find this out and let FRO know that you are proceeding to file refraining order. They may or may not help you until you can provide them with proof that you have filed with courts to stop child support.

    Advice: Get reading on this forum as to steps to take to remedy the situation LEGALLY. Do not communicate with your ex.... just do what you have to do. You can file a stay of enforcement of arrears (I believe you can do this concurrently when filing to have CS stopped).

    Did you exchange financials with your ex every year?

    There is much information on this forum as to steps you should take to remedy your situation.

    Comment


    • #3
      So for 10 years you are vigilante about paying the FRO and are up to date. So how can you now be in arrears? I must be missing something, or its my night off from kids and have had a few glasses of wine

      Comment


      • #4
        I believe he is in arrears since the Spring. FRO would have sent him warning letters.

        Nevertheless, if he wants to stop this he has to act immediately. I'd be at the courthouse on Monday morning filing a family law application for Stay of Enforcement.... he has to be sure to serve FRO as well as his ex. People at the family law centre can assist him but all the information he needs is online. FRO likely will not do anything until they are served, especially if they have been sending him warning letters. If he is lucky, the money they just garnished has not been dispersed to ex yet. His ex may wish she had cooperated because FRO can stop the money to her immediately pending outcome of the hearing. I'm not sure how things work in Ontario but this is how it works in Alberta.

        Comment


        • #5
          You need to file a motion to update child support immediately. In it request full details on the childrens education including proof they were in school. You also need to call FRO and speak to your caseworker about this.

          Never ever trust anything your ex says.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            You need to file a motion to update child support immediately. In it request full details on the childrens education including proof they were in school. You also need to call FRO and speak to your caseworker about this.

            Never ever trust anything your ex says.
            Do this and get copies of your bank statements and any cheques you sent to your ex or kids.

            Comment


            • #7
              How did you let it get to this level of enforcement. It takes at least 3 months for FRO to secure an order of garnishment. They have to contact you and then give you a full 30 days to respond for every stage of the process.

              You must owe over $3000 before they will start the first level of enforcement and that usually a strongly worded letter.

              They do not jump past the various stages of enforcement either.
              Unless you are $$$$$ in arrears and have consistently ignored their correspondence you would have known about this before it happened. Your case worker would have worked with you to ensure that you were not having undue financial hardship. You would have been asked to complete a financial statement showing how much you earn and what are reasonable expenses.

              So if you have never received any correspondence from FRO since the Spring something is wrong here.

              Contact Your case worker
              Last edited by Beachnana; 12-19-2017, 03:56 AM.

              Comment

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