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  • whats happening?

    Why is this forum sleeping? It used to be very busy here. Many senior member WITH knowledge left or come by only occasionally....maybe that could be why.

  • #2
    IMO it has to do with the fact that some members prefered slinging mud at each other rather than posting any useful info or interpretations of the OP's questions.

    Also the site is often the target of recurring troll attacks. ODF has lost some very useful members - some had extensive legal savy, others contributed with their empathy .... I miss all of it.

    Again, this is just my opinion.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by The Iceberg View Post
      Why is this forum sleeping? It used to be very busy here. Many senior member WITH knowledge left or come by only occasionally....maybe that could be why.
      Not many questions being asked that are "new" and people are getting information from other sources probably. As well, a lot of the nonsense in Family Law isn't happening "as much" as it used to. Thankfully some good case law has come about that has changed the games people played in the past.

      Also, personal attacks are boring and a waste of one's time.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by The Iceberg View Post
        Why is this forum sleeping? It used to be very busy here. Many senior member WITH knowledge left or come by only occasionally....maybe that could be why.
        I stop by from time to time. Usually it's because I'm looking for a specific answer.

        I think it was hit on the head with the mud-slinging that has been endured by many a person here. I've also found myself increasingly angry with the "I call bs" stuff that has happened on many a thread I've read. People start out with genuine questions, then the regulars doubt everything about the new posters scenario, and then the mud slings.

        In my personal experience, when regulars started questioning whether children need a medical/dental/psychiatric service when the OP only asked how to go about getting the cost covered through S7, I wonder how much help is actually being garnered?

        The ongoing misogynistic statements that paint all female divorced parents as after a cash cow, a payout, a handout, or to keep the children from their daddy is exhausting. For myself, reading those statements are extremely discouraging, very anger-inducing and remind me far too much of the life left behind. It can be difficult to wade through the b-s I guess.

        Just my opinion though.

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        • #5
          I agree. Too often attacks on posters are personal. These are " opinion" based on individual backgrounds and should be respected.

          Better wording of responses would result in better communication. Therefore posters would not leave the forum because they are being attacked for their opinions. Whether those opinions run against another posters beliefs and standards they Be respected as their own opinions.

          IMO

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm around. I find myself posting less though, it's true. There are fewer people coming to ask questions, fewer questions I know the answers to, and most questions I do know the answers to, I feel like I've answered already in the past, so the search function would turn them up.

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            • #7
              There are some pretty dreadful people who come on here from time to time who just want to tell everyone off. They don't stay very long.

              I find it is quite peaceful on here lately. I always find it interesting to follow someone's story as they proceed through the courts and challenges.

              I agree there is much information in the annals of this forum and many people indicate they use the search function prior to posting. With this in mind I assume that many people likely find the information they require without the need to post.

              Our Mods have headed off some troublesome situations. A few weeks ago a woman was posing and her ex's new partner discovered the posts. Now that could have turned into high drama.

              Quiet is good. After Halloween and before and during Christmas there will likely be a big flurry of posts on here. Again at the end of January when the overspending at Christmas comes on the visa bills.

              It's a cycle.

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              • #8
                The problem with wanting people to use the search function, or telling people to use it instead of answering the question (not saying this has been happening, nor is it meant to be snarky), is that it can quickly kill a forum. Yes, a lot of the stuff has been asked and answered in the past, but things change over the years, and the answer to the question may have changed significantly since it was originally asked in say 2009. People will also think their situation is special and unique, and therefore different from the question asked previously. Of course it likely isnt, but in the midst of all their turmoil and drama it will sure seem that way.

                Once things go down that road and the first reply is somebody going on about how the search bar could have answered that question, forums die. New posters will be too intimidated to ask questions for fear of being told to use search. No questions are being asked as everythings been answered already. Old timers stop coming by as frequently as there's nobody to pass on their knowledge to. And so on so forth. It's something I've seen with a few forums overs the years.

                Comment


                • #9
                  being accused (with no proof at all) of posting under different names doesn't help. Being accused of being in a posse due to your agreement with some other posters kills it for me.
                  Last edited by standing on the sidelines; 10-27-2015, 05:01 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The place took a huge hit to accurate knowledge when we lost Mess. Most others appear to be guessing - hence going back a couple of years for posted advice is likely a sound decision. Even I find myself directing private questions/messages back to past history for accurate answers.
                    Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      A few thoughts:

                      1. The line between giving posters a "reality check" (pointing out when their expectations are unreasonable or their interpretations of a situation don't make sense) and being just plain snarky for the sake of snarkiness gets crossed too often, which turns people off.

                      2. Conspiracies, posses and drama make an online forum too much like junior high revisited, which wasn't that much fun the first time around.

                      3. I recall when I first joined the forum that people would post general thoughts, musings, ideas etc about divorce and their divorces experiences, which often led to interesting conversations and different points of view being shared. That can sometimes lead to touchy-feely group therapy, but I thought it was generally handled well and members were respectful and mutually supportive (and sometimes very funny). Now, it tends to be more straightforward Q&A: I have this question about law/finance/logistics, can I get the answer? This is probably quite useful in providing a service to people who don't have or can't get good legal advice, but it does make things a little blander.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        My PM box is usually full.....my bad...for not directing peeps into the forum

                        I'll try harder to re direct

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                        • #13
                          I have tried posting in the past valid questions and essentially called a liar or insulted. I find that rather than answering questions at face value, there appears to be a hazing for new members. I just log in now, try to look for answers and ,I've moved on if I don't find it. I could have used help and advice over the past few years but I'm too afraid to post.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            It goes on and on: I just reviewed your previous posts and I don't see anywhere where someone called you a liar or has been insulting. Perhaps you have this forum mixed up with another?

                            No hazing for new members. You simply post questions and strangers answer. If someone thinks you are being less than truthful then they will say so. Advice here is cheap and comes from people who have experience going through same thing as you (or worse).

                            Sorry you aren't finding what you are looking for on here.

                            If you want to read through actual judge's decisions on cases in family law you can log on to CanLii and then select your province and on the top line insert some words to search for your topic. I believe your previous posts were about parental alienation so you would put in "parental alienation." You can see for yourself what sort of evidence judges rely upon.

                            Good luck

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by It goes on and on View Post
                              I have tried posting in the past valid questions and essentially called a liar or insulted. I find that rather than answering questions at face value, there appears to be a hazing for new members. I just log in now, try to look for answers and ,I've moved on if I don't find it. I could have used help and advice over the past few years but I'm too afraid to post.
                              Odd, you have only four other posts on this forum, in the one thread you started:
                              http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...ections-17833/

                              I don't see where anyone was insulting or called you a liar. Are you certain it was this forum?

                              Comment

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