Just went to court. Judge said that things are improving between child and father, but that given the way things are, we should work on joint parenting but with the final decision/say be given to me. The judge said she felt confident that I would always do the right thing for our child.
Judge has asked that we do a draft Parenting plan because the father of our child wishes to have a set access schedule. Does a parenting plan have to be in great detail, i.e. spelling out the holiday schedules etc, over and above the regular access schedule ? I’m finding that this is a little premature given our situation. Can there be flexibility in the plan that we have to present and make allowances for this ? I'm not sure how to word it.
It’s taken a lot of work, working with the therapist, CAS and now our child is
finally comfortable to spend more time with him, but refuses to spend more than 1 overnight with him, because not more than that. Just this week, she cried and asked to come home 1 hour into her 3 hour visit with him, because he was yelling and shouting at her to the point she did not want to stay. And then he called me while she was there and told me in her presence that I had to talk to her and to support him by telling her that she had to respect him because he was her dad and that she had to listen to him.
It is difficult to work with the ex because of what he continues to do and at the same time he’s demanding more time with her but clearly she’s not ready. And given the type of visits, I don't want her "stuck" where she HAS to carry out her visit with him even if she is miserable. I always try to work with him and if she wishes to go for longer visits or more, I have never withheld access, but it only makes sense that if the visit doesn't go well (like this week), she can come home earlier if she wishes. Does the child’s opinion (9 years old) count at this age in court ? The Therapist is going to write what our child has mentioned to her which is that she is happy with the way things are right now and doesn’t want it changed and that she’s not ready yet. (we will attach this to the parenting plan).
I don’t want to put a parenting plan in place that will “lock” her into having to stay there because the piece of paper says so, rather I would like to see that if she wants to stay longer, she can, or if she feels like coming home earlier she can too.
The Judge declined to request assistance of the OCL pending the offer to settle Parenting Plan or he refuses the offer/I refuse his counter offer.
There's of course (like with every one here) a lot more to the story, but I'm trying to work on the Parenting Plan, so any help/advice would be appreciated.
Gosh when were the days when adults acted like adults and we were able to discuss things properly without having to involve judges, lawyers, therapists etc.?
Judge has asked that we do a draft Parenting plan because the father of our child wishes to have a set access schedule. Does a parenting plan have to be in great detail, i.e. spelling out the holiday schedules etc, over and above the regular access schedule ? I’m finding that this is a little premature given our situation. Can there be flexibility in the plan that we have to present and make allowances for this ? I'm not sure how to word it.
It’s taken a lot of work, working with the therapist, CAS and now our child is
finally comfortable to spend more time with him, but refuses to spend more than 1 overnight with him, because not more than that. Just this week, she cried and asked to come home 1 hour into her 3 hour visit with him, because he was yelling and shouting at her to the point she did not want to stay. And then he called me while she was there and told me in her presence that I had to talk to her and to support him by telling her that she had to respect him because he was her dad and that she had to listen to him.
It is difficult to work with the ex because of what he continues to do and at the same time he’s demanding more time with her but clearly she’s not ready. And given the type of visits, I don't want her "stuck" where she HAS to carry out her visit with him even if she is miserable. I always try to work with him and if she wishes to go for longer visits or more, I have never withheld access, but it only makes sense that if the visit doesn't go well (like this week), she can come home earlier if she wishes. Does the child’s opinion (9 years old) count at this age in court ? The Therapist is going to write what our child has mentioned to her which is that she is happy with the way things are right now and doesn’t want it changed and that she’s not ready yet. (we will attach this to the parenting plan).
I don’t want to put a parenting plan in place that will “lock” her into having to stay there because the piece of paper says so, rather I would like to see that if she wants to stay longer, she can, or if she feels like coming home earlier she can too.
The Judge declined to request assistance of the OCL pending the offer to settle Parenting Plan or he refuses the offer/I refuse his counter offer.
There's of course (like with every one here) a lot more to the story, but I'm trying to work on the Parenting Plan, so any help/advice would be appreciated.
Gosh when were the days when adults acted like adults and we were able to discuss things properly without having to involve judges, lawyers, therapists etc.?
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