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  • moved out

    I found out in April that my C/L spouse of nearly 12 years was having an affair. I was 3 months pregnant with our third child (who I would later learn will be disabled). I moved out in Sept and the deal was that we would sell the family home and split the profit. Now that I am gone he wants to buy me out but can't. He tells me that he has a year to sell since I left 'by choice', and has been dragging this out. He claims that he put more money and sweat into to home (even though I worked full time and was the primary caregiver to our kids) and that he is entitled to more than I. I haven't gone after his pension or spousal support, nor the max for child support but still I am 'screwing' him out of what he worked for. I haven't had an income since July (as I went off on early benefits to deal with all of this) and have been using my credit to cover my bills. (With the exception of his child support). He keeps telling me he has a high priced lawyer and what his rights are. However won't give me his name so that my lawyer can send him an agreenment. How long can he drag this out for crying out loud. I just want the house to be sold and to move on with my life.

    Thanks

  • #2
    hang in there Estella - for the health and well being of all your children.

    Don't let him intimidate you.

    Ask for full-table amounts of child-support, your children deserve it. He does not have a year to divide the assets, just because he says so ... but it's a nice try.

    Have the home evaluated now, so you have a good idea of that the value of it is at time of seperation.

    You are entitled to half, common-law spouses are not automoatically the same as legally married spouses, but if you provided a full financial contribution, you can fight him on not splitting it 50/50. Is your name on the deed?

    Be as strong as you can be - with being off work, you only have 2 things to focus on, taking care of your kids, and making sure you are treated fairly.

    My advice is never "screw him to the wall" - cause that makes your life so much harder long-term, and you have to co-parent 3 children with this person. Of course he feels like he is 'getting screwed' - most people in our situations do ... that's life.

    Ask for what is fair - half of what you established together (home, equities, belongings), table amounts of child support for your children - be reasonable and fair (as it sounds like you are being) and things will work out.

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    • #3
      Yes my name is on the mortgage, but he doesn't acknowledge that as he made three times my income and was obviously able to contribute more. Because he worked away from home he was able to work (and play apparently) alot of hours whereas I was only able to work my 40 week to be there for my kids. Now that things are done, my physical contribution to the kids and the home/bills mean nothing, only who made the most money. Now he is angry because I am taking 'his' house. I am far from trying to take him for everything as he has already threathened to abandon us financially if I go after max child support. He has connections and can easily work under the table to make money. To top it off my soon to be child will be disabled and already he is questioning how long he is going to be 'on the hook' for support. Not to mention everything else he doesn't want to pay, post secondary, etc... this could potentially bankrupt me, it's scary.

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