Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. He has recently gotten the access situation figured out and is taking his 2 girls as frequently as his work schedule allows. I have 3 children of my own and he has been involved with them throughout the past year. As he hasn't had access to his girls until 4 months ago my children and I have not had an opportunity until recently to finally meet his children. I was only a short visit with a fun neutral activity, tobogganing and hot chocolate afterwards at a local coffee shop. All 5 of the children had a wonderful time and it was a very positive experience. My bf wrote in the communication book about the introduction of us to his 2 children, explaining that he asked them if they would be ok with meeting us, there was no pressure and they were free to say no. They agreed and everything was fine. When thier mother read about the excursion she became very hostile in her response. She is not comfortble with me or my children being around hers and has thrown around some rather wild accusations.
We have currently put a hold on more meetings as we feel that it could make things more difficult for everyone and we want this to be the most positive situation for all parties involved. Our plans are to eventually move in together but it is going to be a slow process as we want all the children to be adjusted to the changes as much as possible. I want my kids to get to know his and I also really want to establish a positive relationship with them. I have no intentions of taking her place as their mother and am not expecting them to call me mom or anything like that. They have a mother already and I am fine with them calling me by my first name.
On another of my bf's visits he took the children to an activity that she felt was inappropriate and is considering reassessing his access which I feel is unneccesary. I do not feel that the activity was inappropriate and have taken my 3 children to the same event previously.
I personally feel that she is trying to interfere and control what happens during his access and that seems rather inappropriate. I have custody of all 3 of my children and I have never tried to control what happens during the time my children spend with their fathers. It comes down to how I would want to be treated if my situation was reversed. However speaking as a mother I do understand how it makes her feel uncomfortable but sometimes you just have to let things go.
I am just wondering if anyone is going through a simular situation or has any advice on this situation or any input on how much a custodial parent can control the visitation. This is becomming a very stressful situation and I refuse to let her control my life, and feel that the same applies to my bf. As long as what he is doind with the children doesn not harm them in anyway just let him enjoy his time with his children, instead of making him feel like he has to watch his every move.
Anyway that is all I can think of for now, but there really is a whole lot more to this that would take me a week to explain.
Thanks in advance
We have currently put a hold on more meetings as we feel that it could make things more difficult for everyone and we want this to be the most positive situation for all parties involved. Our plans are to eventually move in together but it is going to be a slow process as we want all the children to be adjusted to the changes as much as possible. I want my kids to get to know his and I also really want to establish a positive relationship with them. I have no intentions of taking her place as their mother and am not expecting them to call me mom or anything like that. They have a mother already and I am fine with them calling me by my first name.
On another of my bf's visits he took the children to an activity that she felt was inappropriate and is considering reassessing his access which I feel is unneccesary. I do not feel that the activity was inappropriate and have taken my 3 children to the same event previously.
I personally feel that she is trying to interfere and control what happens during his access and that seems rather inappropriate. I have custody of all 3 of my children and I have never tried to control what happens during the time my children spend with their fathers. It comes down to how I would want to be treated if my situation was reversed. However speaking as a mother I do understand how it makes her feel uncomfortable but sometimes you just have to let things go.
I am just wondering if anyone is going through a simular situation or has any advice on this situation or any input on how much a custodial parent can control the visitation. This is becomming a very stressful situation and I refuse to let her control my life, and feel that the same applies to my bf. As long as what he is doind with the children doesn not harm them in anyway just let him enjoy his time with his children, instead of making him feel like he has to watch his every move.
Anyway that is all I can think of for now, but there really is a whole lot more to this that would take me a week to explain.
Thanks in advance
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