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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 02-21-2012, 12:54 PM
neverending neverending is offline
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Default do letters work??

question... I am returning to court in March. I have been dealing with a situation of an ex trying to become self-employeed so that he can work the books so he won't have to pay as much in cs. I have emails and documentation where he actually admits some pretty stupid stuff.... recently 2 people have contacted me asking if I would like them to write letters (afidavits) that state my ex's conversations with them regarding his reasons to go self-employeed and how he was trying to find ways to pay less.
Has anyone had experience with the merit letters like this have? i asked both people why they feel the need to "help" me, and they have both said that they are thinking about the kids here and they can see and have been witness to my ex's shadyness.

Just looking to see if anyone knows how well this type of letter can hold up in court.
  #2  
Old 02-21-2012, 01:06 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by neverending View Post
I have emails and documentation where he actually admits some pretty stupid stuff.... recently 2 people have contacted me asking if I would like them to write letters (afidavits) that state my ex's conversations with them regarding his reasons to go self-employeed and how he was trying to find ways to pay less.
It is all how they present their "evidence". It has to be written from the first person perspective and it has to be a sworn affidavit to the truth. Remember, that an affidavit it a testamony. They can be called to questioning by the other party in the litigation to discovery/questioning. It doesn't end at affidavit (written) material.

Furthermore, they will be demonstrating that they are negative advocates potentially. HOW they write their material is KEY. Google "negative advocate" to get a better picture of how not to do this.

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Originally Posted by neverending View Post
Has anyone had experience with the merit letters like this have? i asked both people why they feel the need to "help" me, and they have both said that they are thinking about the kids here and they can see and have been witness to my ex's shadyness.

Just looking to see if anyone knows how well this type of letter can hold up in court.
Generally, judges don't pay much attention to "friends" who present evidence. If you want matters to go to trial really fast, this is a great way to accidently have it to happen. Ganging up on a litigant with affidavits can often be seen as high-conflict behaviour.

Letters not sworn to the truth (affidavit) are not worth the paper they are written on and if scheduled as evidence to your own affidavit they will be discarded.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:22 PM
neverending neverending is offline
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they are actually people I don't even know... and I was quite surprised. They have actually stated that they understand that affidavits are evidence and that they know they will need to have their letters sworn.
I would prefer this to not look poorly on me, however the information that they are willing to state is what I am trying to bring to light.
ugh...
What is the point of an affidavit if that could be how they are percieved?
I have never been in a position to have letters from anyone -so this truly is new to me.
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Old 02-21-2012, 02:25 PM
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they are actually people I don't even know... and I was quite surprised. They have actually stated that they understand that affidavits are evidence and that they know they will need to have their letters sworn.
I would prefer this to not look poorly on me, however the information that they are willing to state is what I am trying to bring to light.
ugh...
What is the point of an affidavit if that could be how they are percieved?
I have never been in a position to have letters from anyone -so this truly is new to me.
Just to clarify... A letter is a letter. Dear Someone. It doesn't come with the penalty of perjury and notice at the bottom of the letter. The letter doesn't have to be commissioned by an officer of the court. Letters are "hearsay".

What you are talking about are affidavits.

The fact that the person contacted you about the evidence that they are willing to provide and that you don't "know" them can be seen as suspect. How did they contact you if they don't know you? Why would they do this? They are going to have to disclose everything about how they came about the information, contacted you, etc... If they don't give a detailed version in their affidavit the question of who they are, the truthfulness of their "evidence" will come into question.

The evidence to financial avoidance is best served with bank records etc... which are governed under the financial disclosure rules. You are better off demonstrating a past history of income through tax returns and arguing underemployment.

Trying to paint the other parent as trying to hide from child support is usually a difficult argument to bring to court. You have to be very negative about the other parent when presenting this evidence and it can reflect badly.

If a parent wants to forgo their career, retirement and future income just to avoid a monthly payment to support their children. Let them demonstrate this themselves by failing to follow the rules, provide proper financial disclosure and generally these high-conflict individuals complain in court about having to pay child support.

Some times, it is better to leave the 200$ difference in child support behind and save the thousands upon thousands that you will never recoup through child support payments (or spousal support payments).

Children grow up to know who the responsible parent is. If the other parent wants to demonstrate this with obvious bad conduct that will arise in other elements of the proceedings... Let them. They will fall on their face doing so.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:28 PM
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Children grow up to know who the responsible parent is. If the other parent wants to demonstrate this with obvious bad conduct that will arise in other elements of the proceedings... Let them. They will fall on their face doing so.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Im looking forward to seeing this day
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Old 02-22-2012, 07:36 AM
neverending neverending is offline
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Tayken... the way this all came about - I received a phone call from an unknown name unknown number. I was not home so the person who's voice I did not recognize mentioned to me that there was a person named...... and that they were hoping to speak wth me at my shop the following day and that they were hoping it was ok to do so. The next day that person did end up calling me. I asked how they knew my ex or my situation and it turns out that this person was a friend of my ex's. I also asked why this person was willing to come forward and this person expressed that they were disgusted that my ex was trying to cheat the system and the children.. this person has children and grandchildren. this person gave reference to an incident that I was already looking into and basically confirmed what i thought about several things. This person also expressed their willingness to do up a letter and have it sworn. i explained that it could be used as evidence and this person replied that it was fine.
So that is how I have come to wonder about a letter and if it may hold any merit in court.....
Also you expressed that "Trying to paint the other parent as trying to hide from child support is usually a difficult argument to bring to court. You have to be very negative about the other parent when presenting this evidence and it can reflect badly"
Why is it that trying to bring to light someones actions (that aren't right) could look poorly on me? I am not sure I understand.
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Old 02-22-2012, 07:05 PM
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Originally Posted by neverending View Post
Tayken... the way this all came about - I received a phone call from an unknown name unknown number. I was not home so the person who's voice I did not recognize mentioned to me that there was a person named...... and that they were hoping to speak wth me at my shop the following day and that they were hoping it was ok to do so. The next day that person did end up calling me. I asked how they knew my ex or my situation and it turns out that this person was a friend of my ex's. I also asked why this person was willing to come forward and this person expressed that they were disgusted that my ex was trying to cheat the system and the children.. this person has children and grandchildren. this person gave reference to an incident that I was already looking into and basically confirmed what i thought about several things. This person also expressed their willingness to do up a letter and have it sworn. i explained that it could be used as evidence and this person replied that it was fine.
So that is how I have come to wonder about a letter and if it may hold any merit in court.....
Also you expressed that "Trying to paint the other parent as trying to hide from child support is usually a difficult argument to bring to court. You have to be very negative about the other parent when presenting this evidence and it can reflect badly"
Why is it that trying to bring to light someones actions (that aren't right) could look poorly on me? I am not sure I understand.
I would be cautious of strangers getting involved in your matrimonial dispute. The cross examination will be a lot of questions about this person. Also, you don't know why this person really is doing it. Generally the unknown public to a party just doesn't involve themselves in matters like this.

It could be a private investigator looking to get some information. There are lots of reasons to be a bit curious as to why this person would do this. Not that I am telling you to be "paranoid" but, generally... It just seems odd.

Furthermore, you would want an AFFIDAVIT commissioned by a solicitor. If you don't have a solicitor I would call one and ask their opinion on using the unknown person's evidence.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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