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Tough Spot with BPD ex

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  • #16
    Originally posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
    Yes, correct. If there is abuse in the text, then it would be admissable. However, it must be legitimate abuse and not "Look he texts me much more often than I do him". That is a texting relationship. As I said before, keep all communication cordial and everyone should be fine.

    Further, again, judges don't want to go through reams of texts. Did your ex text you to say that you could not see your kid when you were supposed to? Did your ex make a unilateral decision through text that should have been consulted in a joint custody arrangement? Those texts would have weight.

    The reality is, for our trial, it was clearly illustrating to the Judge the complete inability to co-parent with the other parent. It did take other people to help me really narrow in and effectively choose what was needed/necessary for the Judge to see by way of texts/myfamilywizard entries. Our submissions were numerous but were needed to effectively tell the story. Plus, let’s face it, the bar is that much higher for Fathers in the court system.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Exasperated mommy View Post
      The main texts relate to my ex telling me he needs 24hrs notice to give our son a bath, despite (as one example) receiving a photo from daycare of our son sitting in the sandbox at daycare (he came home to me the next day still having sand in his diaper). Those sorts of things - the things that lead to me not wanting him to have 50% custody; my thought process is that, since he can't be relied on to take proper care of our son in that way, I'm aiming to not put him in a position where he needs to be relied upon for such things (ie more than a day at a time). Or refusing to take him to the Dr when he's sick. I'm a little confused now on what judges require for proof in helping them determine whether it not to issue full vs 50/50 custody?
      Just to be clear:

      1) You think he should lose custody because he is not giving a sufficient number of baths.

      2) He thinks he needs to obtain 24 hours notice to give a bath.

      Both of you are ridiculous.

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      • #18
        Also, how do you know that he received a photo from the daycare? And why on earth are you telling him how to parent during his parenting time?

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Janus View Post
          1) You think he should lose custody because he is not giving a sufficient number of baths.
          During Settlement Conference:

          Judge to Dad: "She says you haven't been giving baths, when you have your child can you ensure to give baths as appropriate, even in a shared parenting regime?"

          Dad: "Yes your honour"

          Judge to Mom: "Problem solved on baths, what else are your concerns to negate a shared parenting regime?"

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