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  • #16
    I certainly do have them all! Including the one of her agreeing with me to not go down that path. Then she did. Said she wasn't asking contribution and now she is and says I have unreasonably withheld consent.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Tandem80 View Post
      Is there any case law to prove that it is not extraordinary? I am being taken to court to pay for hockey when I did not consent to it.


      What does your order say? Are you obligated to pay half or a proportional rate for sports?


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      • #18
        Sorry, but if you have the means to pay for your kids' hockey whether it be house league or travel, then do so. Split the costs with your ex if need be. If your kid truly enjoys it why wouldn't you? Perhaps your EX will need to understand other expenses may be limited because of it. Decide as a couple with your child if this is an expense worth the fuss, but don't deny your kid the opportunity hockey will give him or her regardless if this falls under the umbrella of Ectraordinary!

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        • #19
          Hey Tandem80 - wonder if everyone would feel the same if your ex put your child in something REALLY expensive such as equestrian.... Would you have to pay for horse's board and farrier, equipment for horse and rider, lessons, de-worming/veterinarian and all the costs associated with competitive side of things?

          If either parent want kids to go into something AFTER divorce then they are expected to obtain the other parent's approval if they expect the other parent to share the cost.

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          • #20
            Here is a case that I just read from CanLii:

            https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...&resultIndex=4

            Keep in mind there are 3 children but interesting reading nevertheless. Not sure I agree with the decision but then what do I know.... not much when it comes to child support. With that in mind, I'd say it is pretty important to do thorough research... CanLii is a good start.

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            • #21
              A summary of factors considered by the judge is listed here
              https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j...NbmHgeRMLQ9uvg

              If you are both earning reasonable money and if you are paying FULL child support (instead of set-off) then I'd think that strengthens the argument that these expenses can easily be covered thru CS and her own means.

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              • #22
                This is not about the money. It is mostly about the interference with access as she moved 2 hours from our marital residence. There are 3 other children as well I only get to see every other weekend. I work out of province and only come home the wkds the kids are here and do not wish to have my wkds dictated for me.

                I did not agree with this activity since he was 4 she unilaterally enrolled him 2 yrs ago at age 8 when she received a large settlement did by ask for contribution or obtain consent. Now wants contribution and says I unreasonably withheld consent.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Tandem80 View Post
                  I work out of province and only come home the wkds the kids are here and do not wish to have my wkds dictated for me.
                  Um, that's part of what parenting is! Having your weekends and evenings, and days, dictated to you by your children's health, activities, interests, etc. All families, divorced or intact, face this on a daily basis.

                  You can't expect your kids' activities to not affect your weekends. Are their lives and interests supposed to just cease to exist during your parenting time?

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                  • #24
                    When I did not agree to hockey...yup!

                    There are other activities the children can be in that do not have such a demanding schedule that partake in both of my access days.

                    Also maybe my ex should not have enrolled into hockey when she is on disability for the rest of her life earning only $800 a month.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Tandem80 View Post
                      This is not about the money. It is mostly about the interference with access as she moved 2 hours from our marital residence. There are 3 other children as well I only get to see every other weekend. I work out of province and only come home the wkds the kids are here and do not wish to have my wkds dictated for me.

                      I did not agree with this activity since he was 4 she unilaterally enrolled him 2 yrs ago at age 8 when she received a large settlement did by ask for contribution or obtain consent. Now wants contribution and says I unreasonably withheld consent.


                      I can see Rioe's point though. Your ex moved with or without your permission? Im going to assume with. And you are an EOW dad. Which means that 4 days out of 30 a month or 48 days out of 365 your kids have to put their lives on hold for you. This is unreasonable. What are you going to do when they have jobs? Girlfriends/boyfriends? Social lives?

                      If its about the money then fine she didn't get your approval and is a jerk about asking you. Now you are making it about expecting your kids to give up something they enjoy 320 days a year they aren't with you.

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                      • #26
                        Forget it! I argue enough with her about this I don't need to argue with the board members.

                        I don't agree with it! Hockey is not the be all end all and does not make me a bad dad for not agreeing to it.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Tandem80 View Post
                          Forget it! I argue enough with her about this I don't need to argue with the board members.

                          I don't agree with it! Hockey is not the be all end all and does not make me a bad dad for not agreeing to it.


                          My step daughter plays broomball... it is every Thursday practice, Saturdays games and Sundays practices... this effects every single weekend we have the kids during the season (EOW)... my husband didn't pay for it because Mom wanted to enrol (her new bf is a coach and his daughter plays)... some weekends we go and some weekends we don't... just depends on what we have going on. We have her brother and now a new one due in October that are/will be effected... but oh well it's part of being a family.

                          That being said... it's your time, she can't force you to do things on your time, but a court can order the kids be at their activities... so essentially it comes down to who has the best argument.

                          FWIW - mom and kids also live 2 hours away and games are usually 2.5-3 hours away in the dead of winter


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                          • #28
                            [QUOTEUm, that's part of what parenting is! Having your weekends and evenings, and days, dictated to you by your children's health, activities, interests, etc. All families, divorced or intact, face this on a daily basis.

                            You can't expect your kids' activities to not affect your weekends. Are their lives and interests supposed to just cease to exist during your parenting time?][/QUOTE]

                            I would agree, especially as the kids get older. It is easy to avoid a birthday party for a kids friend or a pick an activity on just one day/week with a young child. Older kids know they are missing and they will be resentful if they have to miss frequently.

                            Also, as kids get older the activities tend to be more time consuming. some activities are predictable, some are not. In my community, hockey and soccer schedules change a lot, lack of ice time and fields. In my case, you sign up for soccer before you know a schedule, then find out what day of the week it is a couple of weeks before it starts, and if you have more than one kid, pray you wont have a schedule conflict. Then when you inevitably do have 2 kids playing at the same time on opposite ends of the city every week, scramble to arrange rides, car pool, whatever you have to do. And every one is in the same boat, intact family or not.

                            This is why I do not like the clause that you have to inform the other parent of the schedule prior to agreement on activities. In some activities that is quite impossible when registration occurs before schedules are made.

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                            • #29
                              Well I have been trying to get a job closer to home have handed out resumes like crazy the past 2 yrs. This is why I am currently away working in another province. If I can't find anything close to home the visitation schedule may have to change then to better suit my kids activities. I feel that I don't have many options.

                              I have been told if I take a drop in pay I will be imputed the income I earn now. Well the oilfield is dying and maintaining this income is not going to last much longer unless I relocate and I am further from my kids

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Tandem80 View Post
                                Well I have been trying to get a job closer to home have handed out resumes like crazy the past 2 yrs. This is why I am currently away working in another province. If I can't find anything close to home the visitation schedule may have to change then to better suit my kids activities. I feel that I don't have many options.

                                I have been told if I take a drop in pay I will be imputed the income I earn now. Well the oilfield is dying and maintaining this income is not going to last much longer unless I relocate and I am further from my kids


                                Maybe not feasible but if you are away every day except when you have your kids why can't you relocate your residence closer to your kids so when you are home they are close to their school, friends, activities, etc?


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