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HAP parent, school notes/work

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  • #16
    Then I recommend working directly with principal on it. Some schools now have websites/web options for parents. See if theres a way to communicate directly with respect to homework and comment on progress. I think schools/teachers also have parent teacher meetings outside the usual dates to discuss progress on issues. Your daughter is only 6. Yes you need to stay on top of school issues now but the fight may happen later in age/progress. For now try to get progress updates and what you can do directly from the teacher and leave it at that. Being a gatekeeper wont serve the ex well as kid continues to struggle and fall behind.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
      You ARE recording these phone calls....right?
      Usually, yes.
      I now actually have an app on my phone, that will prompt me to record call, if I wish. If it's "ex" calling, I will record in case. Lately, it has not always prompted me though, which is unfortunate. I think it's due to a recent phone OS upgrade. I'm checking into it. Like this morning, I did not get that recording.

      Before that, if I had to answer, I tried using voice recorder, but it was too hard to be ready to use it always, or then batteries would be dead. As much as possible, I try to screen to voicemail, as she tends to leave the "crazy" voicemails, when that happens.

      I have some recordings of these calls though.
      Not sure, they will ever come into play though, because as I see Serene mentioned after, they don't seem to be very relevant or actually referenced in cases like this. I retain them though, in case.

      In the past, to try and make them more relevant or visible, I would sometimes include a voicemail recording she left me, in my email response to her.

      Something like;

      Hi (ex-name).
      I received your phone message you left me.
      (recording of voicemail attached to the email I send her).

      Then an actual response to the non-garbage part of message, she might leave me.

      ex. I understand that you need to switch days on such and such a date. That is fine with me, and I will note it on my schedule.

      ex.
      I am not in agreement with your viewpoint on this issue, so if you wish to discuss more, please email me and we can discuss further.

      Some I don't respond to at all, and simply keep recording, because it's just pure nonsense.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by HappyMomma View Post
        Download Yesware. It will allow you to track whether or not she has opened an email. I don't think it would fly as evidence...
        Thanks. I currently use ReadNotify.com for this.

        If it's something more important, and I think I need to show I sent something, and I still haven't received a response, after a period of time, I make sure to send registered mail to her.

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        • #19
          Very tiring.

          Apparently, she was not done from this morning, as I see she tried calling me at work. She left me a voicemail. The kind of voicemail, that you wonder if you should call someone about...although no direct threat is made.

          The timing of it, is right shortly after D6 would get home from school, so I'm pretty sure D6 was there, when ex was leaving this rant on my voicemail.

          Very Hostile voicemail, without any intro, she just went into it... like I was actually listening live to her.

          Apparently, she is saying, that D6 told her, more than once, that I tell D6 that "Mommy hates her". Asking what's wrong with me, and what kind of parent I am.

          - she stresses that she loves her daughter
          - she then goes onto some rant about she hopes I'm recording this message
          - she really hopes I bring it to court, so a judge can see how crazy I am
          - ranting about "Do you realize how many emails you send me, "you phsycho bitch", "you stalker" "Bring it on b!tch"
          - "Don't F with me!" (all left in voicemail to me)

          I wonder what prompted this further episode?
          - hey, at least, she acknowledged she gets my emails, or at least knows I'm sending them her way
          - perhaps there would be less emails, if she actually co-parented, and tried responding to the emails when first sent, instead of me having to followup all the time, with zero response. Some of them go weeks without any response.

          I obviously don't tell D6 anything of the sort. Perhaps, if this is even coming from D6, this has to do with the issues, that school seems to be indicating, and that I've been trying to raise with Mom? Mom seems oblivious to the stress that her behaviour is causing D6.

          Uggh.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Serene View Post
            ...
            At least with the school agenda issue no one is yelling at you...
            Well, nobody, aside from the ex. But yeah, no third-parties yelling at me.

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            • #21
              People are whacked.

              Dr Phil would say: you divorce a different person than you marry.

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