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    need some quick advice.
    every time we have to communicate (over email only, i don't engage in phone conversations) ex curses and abuses and twists what is being said.

    I have sole custody of our son.

    Son (6) was learning some bad words in daycare and I decided its better for him to not attend there. neighbors have 4 daughters and a good environment and my son loves hanging out there, they have agreed to pick him up from school and keep him until i return for the day.

    My question is: do i just tell the ex that day care is going to be terminated and that she needs to pick him up from school on her access days, or should i also provide her the reasons and unravel that son will be looked after by the neighbors for couple of hours every day?; court order is silent in this regards.

  • #2
    Be open and forthcoming. There is no harm in being honest. Advise her to pick up the child from the neighbor at the specified time.

    Saying nothing makes it look like you were trying to hide something when it is eventually comes out, which it will.

    Give your reasoning, but don't get into a tit-for-tat argument with her. You have sole custody and some sound reasoning. Just advise and leave it at that.

    Also, just know that the boy is also learning that language from school and everywhere else. It likely isn't just the old daycare.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
      ...
      Also, just know that the boy is also learning that language from school and everywhere else. It likely isn't just the old daycare...
      That was going to be my comment - he goes to school too. He hears the same there, so are you going to pull him out of school? lol. No.

      I'd focus on the fact that you made alternate plans so that son doesn't require the daycare, and the costs that go with it (as I imagine that is what it really is), and leave it at that.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by sahibjee View Post
        ...to be terminated and that she needs to pick him up from school on her access days...
        Wait... which is it? Is the son going to be at neighbours for pickup? Why does your ex have to pick son up directly from school instead, now? Is she able to do that? What was the reason you had daycare to begin with?

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        • #5
          You don't need to give a reason, so don't give a reason. (if you do, whatever you say can be argued)
          The best for everyone if she can pick up the kid from school.

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          • #6
            If you have sole custody you don't need to have a detailed explanation as to why you have made alternate arrangements, so long as this daycare was not part of the order.

            You have decided that it is a better situation for your son to be watched by a different provider (I am assuming just a short while after school until you get home) It is important that you tell mom where child will be as she has access and it seems she usually picks up from daycare. If the arrangement is usually for pick up at a time later then the end of school day then you will have to make arrangements for her to pick up from the new provider.

            Keep it short, polite and to the point.

            I wouldn't worry so much about swearing. I see in your other post you are having problems with mom swearing as well. Unfortunately bad language is often a fact of life try to ignore it. Your son could have picked up bad language from anywhere, school, friends homes, mom's home, tv, or even heard you or your family slip up.

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