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  • Legal Sole Custody and Physical Sole Custody

    I'm applying for both legal and physical custody of our daughter.

    What do I need to show when it comes to sole legal custody ? Will I have enough reasons :-

    Are things like :-
    He refuses to engage in discussion for our child's welfare.
    I'm the one making decisions for her dental needs (ortho and reg dental) because he refuses to help pay, refuses to participate. (I ask but he will not reply or discuss)
    our child is being raised catholic - Both parents are catholic, but he refuses to take her to church.
    He will not pay for her extra cirricular activities or be involved in decision making. (I ask but he will not reply)
    pretty much leave me to look after her day to day needs, her health and dental needs.
    Has not allowed her to go counselling - until CAS was involved.
    Are those grounds for asking for sole legal custody or do I need more evidence ?
    I just can't work with this ex of mine.

    I can just see things being a nightmare if we have to have joint.

    Physical custody - she lives with me most of the time and has time with her father alternate weekends and a day during the week.

    Any advice re : legal sole custody would be appreciated.
    I take it that sole and physical dont necessarily go hand in hand.
    Tks.

  • #2
    Most of those things aren't really reason enough by themselves to get sole.

    He refuses to engage in discussion for our child's welfare.
    Look up "parallel parenting". If he pushes joint he may pull that rabbit out of his hat.

    I'm the one making decisions for her dental needs (ortho and reg dental) because he refuses to help pay, refuses to participate. (I ask but he will not reply or discuss)
    It's a legit section 7 expense and he'll be forced to contribute pro rata to income. Simply request that in your final order.

    our child is being raised catholic - Both parents are catholic, but he refuses to take her to church.
    Not relevant.

    He will not pay for her extra cirricular activities or be involved in decision making. (I ask but he will not reply)
    Again, if you ask it in the final order, he's expected to contribute to reasonable section 7 expenses pro rata to income.

    pretty much leave me to look after her day to day needs, her health and dental needs.
    This would be one of your arguments for sole PHYSICAL custody with access to the father.

    Has not allowed her to go counselling - until CAS was involved.
    Again, argument for sole physical.

    What you will likely wind up with in this situation, is sole physical custody, with the father receiving what's commonly referred to as the EOW screwjob. (Every other weekend and one overnight during the alternate week).

    What you should probably consider offering up is JOINT LEGAL, with the primary caregiver (you) being given final say short of a court order from the Non custodial parent (him). That is pretty common, and all it means is that you are obligated to seek his input, but the final decision rests with you. To be honest the whole "short of a court order" thing is meaningless unless you are talking a life and death decision. That's the only way he'd be able to shortcut the courts with an emergency motion. Otherwise by the time he gets before a judge, whatever decision would be long over with.

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    • #3
      In my opinion go for joint Custody with primary residence to you. This is only if he truly does not want to see your child more of course, if he does he should be able to. From what it sounds like he does not want to make any decisions anyways, but it will make him feel better knowing he has a choice.

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      • #4
        Is there a link anyone can give me that explains all of the various custody options. Originally I wanted 50/50 Joint, as I believe the boys should be able to see both parents equally. However...going through this separation process and now understanding that my ex cannot negotiate, and will not negotiate, I can't imagine trying to come to terms with important decisions raising the children.

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        • #5
          You could ask for soul custody and joint time. Meaning that you get to make the decisions but you split the time. I know of a couple doing this and they have not been back to court in years.

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