Christmas vacation...help!

[scarycheri]

I am back again with the need for some words of wisdom for my husband. He gave notice to his ex, in writing back in March, indicating which week of christmas break from school he would be taking. Their order states the two weeks off school are to be split. She had first choice last year. This past weekend she tells him that he can't have her for the week and wants her back on the Wednesday. They had a pretty big argument & he refused. When he pointed out that she was notified of this back in March she made a point of telling him she didn't agree to it. Nor did she disagree to it. Anyways, a few hours later she calls him to apologize and agrees to what he originally asked for.

Well today she called again. She has changed her mind again and is now asking for the child to be returned two days early as she has plans for new years eve that cant be changed & the child is supposedly upset at missing out on them due to her being with her father.

I told my husband that upsetting their daughter was completely preventable by the mother if she had just respected his time with her. She has known for almost 10 months that their daughter would be with her dad. We also have made plans new years eve for both our kids as well as for new years day. The child expressed excitement to us and her mother about these plans.

My advice to him is to stick to his guns. Their daughter won't be upset once she is with her dad with all the things we have planned for her. I suggested that he remind her that he gave her almost 10 months notice. That the situation would be preventable if she would respect his time with their daughter & make it clear that he would have her home on the date stated in the letter.

Can he get an emergency order to make her abide by this?

[HammerDad]

Simple answer I would give is to tell her that "I'll think about it", get the kid and have his time.

When she says "why didn't you bring her back", he can reply with "I only said I'd think about it. I never said I agreed."

I stick my guns here.

He is entitled to the time and she cannot unilaterally make changes to such time. And unless she is willing to give him makeup time that is in someway beneficial (as losing New Years isn't the same as switching a normal weekend - ie. she gives him 2 weekends for being willing to switch this one), I see no reason agree to her demands.

It sucks that she made plans of the kid during his time. But that is no one elses fault but hers.

As of right now, I do not think there is anything the courts can do as you have no cause of action. There is no remedy for "I think she may do ......" in court. There is only remedy for "she did X". It would become a contempt matter if she denies access.

If she shows up, he needs to remind her it is his parenting according to clause X of the court order and, unless she is willing to give him a really good deal, he intends to exercise his parenting time in its entirety.

[Access Dad]

I agree with HammerDad. She must obide by the court order and if she doesn't contempt proceedings should be brought.

[Berner_Faith]

We had this issue over Easter with my bf and his ex... she had the kids last year and they agreed that this year was his... everything was a go, until about a week before... she told him that he could only have the children from Thursday to Saturday and that he must bring them back on Saturday... he responded that it was his weekend with the children (regular and because she had the children last year)... when he showed up on Thursday she told him again that he could only have them until Saturday, he said no, I will return them Monday as our agreement states. She flipped and said fine you are not taking the children.

The kids got upset and to prevent arguing in front of the kids he said he see what was going on... once he got home, he emailed her stating that according to the agreement this was his year with the children for Easter and he would not be returning them until Monday. She called the cops on him, freaking out... he received a call from the cops and they actually questioned him on whether he felt she was stable or not because of the way she was acting...

They basically could not do anything and told her of such, but she tried to change the agreement to what she felt was right at that given time. He stuck to his guns and now she doesn't pull that anymore.