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  • no contact with my boys for over a month

    Hey folks ,
    I haven't been able to talk to my boys in over a month , we have a 18 year old severaly autistic son who i skype with becuase it is better for him to see me, we also have a 14 old son who i hear is outof control ,
    they live 6 hours away and i have been calling for a month sending texts and leaving messages on facebook and i get is texts from the mother saying the 14 year will call you tonight and nothing
    I AM FED UP if we go to court what can they do to enforce the genourus contact part of are agreement ,
    thanks

  • #2
    Originally posted by nomad View Post
    i get is texts from the mother saying the 14 year will call you tonight and nothing
    Very typical. Don't trust your ex. If she took your kids 6 hours away, chances are she is your enemy and not your friend.

    She's alienating the kids from you and the kids are telling her what she wants to hear.

    Keep requesting calls VERY POLITELY. Don't harass her.

    Document, document, document.

    Take care of your self.

    Either move to the same city and file a motion for access, or get a lawyer to deal with finding the mother in contempt. You sound too emotionally hurt to be able to do it on your own.

    What are the current access terms ?

    Comment


    • #3
      Move right to their neighborhood...hell...right next door. HOWDY NEIGHBOR!

      Take courses in ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) to show your better equipped to deal with your autistic child. Hell...get Board Certified and be a supervisor (BCBA).

      I disagree with Trinton here. Harass her...because you shouldn't have to ask her over and over to have contact with your own children...that shouldn't be considered harassment. The more denials...the better for court.
      Last edited by LovingFather32; 04-05-2017, 01:49 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by nomad View Post
        if we go to court what can they do to enforce the genourus contact part of are agreement
        "Generous" is not a defined term, so she is not even violating the agreement. The courts cannot do a thing. Perhaps she was planning on giving you nothing, and she generously offered to tell the 14yo to call you. It is like having "generous" access. That is code in family law for "almost no access whatsoever".

        Furthermore, courts are very unlikely to order a teenager to contact a parent. Even if they did, it would be aspirational and unenforceable.

        You live 6 hours away. Parents don't live 6 hours away. Move closer, or accept that unfortunately you are not going to be part of your children's lives. The courts will not help you at all.

        Comment


        • #5
          She lives on an Indian reserve with her nativtboyfriend so moving there is out of the question not mention there is no work there ,
          Now what about the fact I cAnnot access my autistic son surely the courts can do something about this ?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Janus View Post
            Furthermore, courts are very unlikely to order a teenager to contact a parent. Even if they did, it would be aspirational and unenforceable.
            I always hear parents saying a court is not going to tell a teenager what to do , etc. That is totally false, if they find the one parent to be alienating the child, a judge can tell the child, either you go and live with your dad, or you get placed in foster care. At that point, the child cannot be in contact with mom, if he does, then mom can be charged criminally and possibly jailed.
            Last edited by trinton; 04-06-2017, 10:31 AM.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by nomad View Post
              She lives on an Indian reserve with her nativtboyfriend so moving there is out of the question not mention there is no work there ,
              Now what about the fact I cAnnot access my autistic son surely the courts can do something about this ?
              What does your order say about the phone calls, exactly word for word (take out the names, etc). If there are defined generous terms, then she MUST obey with those terms and encourage the child to contact you, or the red flag starts to shine and she can be found in contempt.

              She's on to the same crap with your autistic son. Again, what is the exact wording of your order? You can PM it to us if you don't want to be to specific publicly.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by trinton View Post
                I always hear parents saying a court is not going to tell a teenager what to do
                I said that the court was unlikely to tell a teenager what to do. I almost always temper my language when dealing with probabilities.

                That is totally false, if they find the one parent to be alienating the child, a judge can tell the child, either you go and live with your dad, or you get placed in foster care.
                The court can certainly do that.

                The court is unlikely to do that.

                Especially when the only problem is that they aren't talking to dad enough.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by nomad View Post
                  She lives on an Indian reserve with her nativtboyfriend so moving there is out of the question not mention there is no work there
                  Was this move recent? (eg. a week or two) If so, I would strongly recommend that you go to court and try to reverse that move.

                  If not, then you serve as another cautionary tale about letting your child move away without a fight. If your child moves, then you lose the child. Don't let the child move.

                  Perhaps you can move closer to the reserve? If you are an hour away then a drive there is just an evening jaunt, rather than a full day journey there and back.

                  Now what about the fact I cAnnot access my autistic son surely the courts can do something about this ?
                  What would you like the court to say/do? Tell the mom to have the kid call you? The order already says that. What more do you want?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    no contact

                    ok my order says i am to have my boys one week a month and generous access ,
                    to date i have not heard from my sons since march 1 2017 I also didn't not get my monthly visitation with them , I have called their school and have been told they have missed a lot of school in the past couple of weeks ,
                    i was hoping some one on hear could share some insight on how this will be addressed in court , as she is clearly disregarding a court order ...
                    i am ssure some one else has gone thru this before ... i can not afford a lawyer and will have to take her to court , i hope the courts do something about this ,
                    my fear is I time to run back a nd fourth to court and get no where ,
                    and YES I AM A PARENT!!!!!!!
                    i am sick of these mothers thumbing their noses at court orders and fathers haveing to jump thru hoops just to see their children

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Well my partner has been going through this for a few years and as his lawyer said, the courts are wary of forcing a teen to spend time with a parent. Especially if you cant prove the ex is withholding. My partner gets a lot of "I encourage kids to make an effort but theyre teens and I cant force them". You could try to file a motion for contempt but climbing everest might be easier.

                      Try sending a firmly worded letter advising that she is in breach of the order by denying access and you expect make up time. See where it gets you.

                      And yes, my partner is a parent too. His ex is protected by the lax rules on alienation and denying access. Teens are forced to go to school, why arent they forced to see their parents?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by nomad View Post
                        ok my order says i am to have my boys one week a month and generous access ,
                        to date i have not heard from my sons since march 1 2017 I also didn't not get my monthly visitation with them , I have called their school and have been told they have missed a lot of school in the past couple of weeks ,
                        i was hoping some one on hear could share some insight on how this will be addressed in court , as she is clearly disregarding a court order ...
                        i am ssure some one else has gone thru this before ... i can not afford a lawyer and will have to take her to court , i hope the courts do something about this ,
                        my fear is I time to run back a nd fourth to court and get no where ,
                        and YES I AM A PARENT!!!!!!!
                        i am sick of these mothers thumbing their noses at court orders and fathers haveing to jump thru hoops just to see their children
                        Unfortunately, parental alienation isn't very easy to prove. Your child is acting out likely because you were not in his life. This is exactly what our family legal system causes to children. They just remove the other parent while cherishing the mother's right thinking that everything is going to turn out okay, cuz apparently the mother is best suited to look after the child, because she is a mother.

                        Get as much information from the school you can, get all report cards, attendance records, etc. Meet with the teachers and discuss your child's progress, etc. Find out who the doctors are if you can, go speak to them. Get the records from them.

                        How can you not afford a lawyer? Why can you not find a job closer to where your kids are? Go drive for Uber or something. Start delivery pizzas on evenings and weekends. MOVE CLOSE TO YOUR KIDS.


                        You don't need a $500/hr lawyer to work for you, hire a freshly graduated preferably female lawyer with a high self esteem. $100 - $200 an hour max. At least just to help you prepare your court documents.

                        Start by doing a free consult through lsuc referal service : https://lsrs.lsuc.on.ca/lsrs/

                        call legal aid

                        take a day off work, go to the court with jurisdiction very early (with all of your comments organized in a notepad), with a copy of your final order, and speak to a duty counsel.

                        Having done all that, you should have a letter you could send to your ex to start the process. Wait to see what she comes back with. Then you start the court process and ask for the OCL to get involved the investigate what's going on. Your child is still young enough to be considered a child who's views shouldn't be opposed by a primary parent that's led them to be where they are now.

                        It's now or never my friend. But don't say never. It's not easy, but it's doable. If you are a parent as you say you are, then you will go through hell and back to get your children back from that crazy psycho . Don't have that attitude towards her though, I'm allowed to call her that cuz I can smell her crap from thousands of miles away.

                        Last edited by trinton; 04-06-2017, 07:52 PM.

                        Comment

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