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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 09-09-2016, 02:47 AM
bcgooddad bcgooddad is offline
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Default Best schedule for 2 y.o. in different towns

Hey all, trying to get some information together to share with my ex with regards to the amount of time that is needed for a young child to be with each parent.

Ex is planning to move (1.5 hours away) at the end of the month and informed me only a couple of weeks ago. We don't have a parenting plan yet, and all scheduling has been done on an ad hoc basis, which has varied greatly due to work and travel for both of us. Essentially I have had her most times that I am available and ex is home (she travels a lot for work and family). We plan to cohabitate, at least some and as long as we can get along, to make things easier.

I also have my son (different mom) for ten days per month (based around every second weekend), so we will coordinate parenting times in my home with that schedule, but I am not sure how many nights she will agree to stay in my home (she will only travel twice per month). The rest of the time will be up to me to travel for parenting.

So I guess my question is, what kind of schedule is appropriate for a two year old, with homes in two different towns? I know more frequent visits is more important at this age, but also we don't want to be traveling all the time either.

I have proposed that I have 3 days every two weeks in my home, and two days every week in her home. So she would be traveling twice per month, and away for 6 days, while I would be travelling 4 times per month and away for 8 days. It essentially adds up to half time, 14/28 days, which I think is decent for a two year old. And it would provide at least a couple of days each week.

Any thoughts?
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  #2  
Old 09-09-2016, 08:56 AM
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Why have you not filed an urgent motion to stop the child from being moved?
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Old 09-09-2016, 09:29 AM
bcgooddad bcgooddad is offline
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Urf... trying to keep relations good, and we are seeing a mediator next week. It's pretty fresh and a result of her getting a job in other town.
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Old 09-09-2016, 10:03 AM
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You are making a huge mistake.

Once you let her move, it can never be undone. You will have lost the kid. You need to see a lawyer and file an emergency motion immediately.
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Old 09-09-2016, 10:36 AM
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Agreed. Such a huge mistake. Absolutely do not do it. Stop the move ASAP. She can move anywhere she wants, you have the right to prevent the child being moved. The kid can live with you full time and she can visit the child rather than moving the child.

If you do nothing to stop it you WILL lose the child in the not so distant f¨ture and be back here trying to figure out how to undo it, at which point iy is near impossible.
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Old 09-09-2016, 11:32 AM
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I have to agree , the long term effects will be not good
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Old 09-09-2016, 11:52 AM
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Interesting recent decision (released a day ago) in Ontario which might be quite relevant to your situation:

https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...6onsc5621.html
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Old 09-09-2016, 11:54 AM
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To answer your question:

There is no way to share custody effectively between two cities. Normally, the person asking this question is the person who is moving, so the usual advice that we give here is "don't move, you can't have shared custody if you live in a different city".

However, she is moving.

The way family law works is that if you don't fight it then it is assumed that you agree. I'll say it again: If you do not file an emergency motion, then it means that you have agreed to have your child leave you and YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE YOUR MIND.

In three years, your child starts school. At that point he cannot be with you during the week, so that is when you lose shared custody. You might think that you will have weekends and she will have weekdays, but that isn't fair to mom or child, and more importantly judges never allow it. You can't fight for custody at that point though, because you already gave it up today. And, in family law, once you give up custody, you can never change your mind.

Good relations are worthless. You basically have the file the motion by the end of next week, and probably earlier. That is how much of a time crunch you are facing.
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Old 09-09-2016, 11:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Interesting recent decision (released a day ago) in Ontario which might be quite relevant to your situation:

https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...6onsc5621.html
Read that case.

Mom tried to unilaterally change the status quo by moving away, Dad filed to stop it.

Dad won.

Gooddad though doesn't plan on fighting the move, so he loses before he even starts.
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Old 09-09-2016, 12:29 PM
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Good case.

Quote:
"....Respondent shouldn’t be allowed to use various changes in her life to erode Christian’s important and beneficial relationship with the father."
Very good point made by the father.
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