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News Clipping: Minnesota Judge has 200 Blunt Words for Divorcing Parents

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  • News Clipping: Minnesota Judge has 200 Blunt Words for Divorcing Parents

    photo of a newspaper clipping posted by local news station:
    (Wall Photos | Facebook)

    also found reference to it here: http://www.divorceinkentucky.com/BluntAdvice.htm





    Minnesota Judge Has 200 Blunt Words for Divorcing Parents

    By Judge Michael Haas, 2001

    "Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.

    No matter what you think of the other party-or what your family thinks of the other party-these children are one-half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an "idiot" his father is, or what a "fool" his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of him is bad.

    That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love. That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.

    I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make your a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer.

  • #2
    CBarker:

    A lot of judges are giving these types of lectures in court.

    They will do it to both parties but the reality is, its often just one spouse who engages in this behavior.

    A lot of marriages break up because of a lack of respect, I guess its not that surprising that that behavior continues in divorce with parenting issues.

    I've always found it a bit amusing that during divorce, judges expect really good communication and cooperation between parents. If I could have communicated with my ex, I probably wouldn't be divorcing. To this day, I can send a very clear, simple email and he will breeze over it (arrogance) without reading it and things will get screwed up. When we were married, he'd literally hang up the phone while i was talking. Nothing has or will change in divorce. The only thing I can do is deal with him as little as possible...and control my own reaction to his behavior. Excuse the bad analogy but you can't be upset with a dung beetle cause it rolls in poop...it is what it is.

    Parents who engage in actively bashing, undermining, and disrespecting the other parent often reap what they sow with the longterm relationship with their children. The problem with people like this, however, is that they are very short-term thinkers.

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    • #3
      you can't be upset with a dung beetle cause it rolls in poop
      LOVE IT, I'll make it my motto for the next while whenever I think of the ex...

      Comment

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