Tonight, my ex phoned and spoke with the children - nothing new and something which I very much encourage. Last night, I was not home and he had called several times but the sitter did not answer the phone ( I don't know why). Anyways, we did chat online late last night and I had made the comment to him that regardless of whether or not the sitter had answered the phone he would not have had the chance to speak to the kids since they were sent to bed early for their bad behaviour.
So tonight, during the call, I overhear my son explaining why he was sent to bed early last night. This seems to be happening frequently. Not the "sent to bed" but the continuous explanations from quite young children for things that happen in our home.( 7 & 8 respectively).
Last week, Grandma called and I told her she could not speak to grandaughter as she was in bed but her grandson was up. Within seconds my son was explaining why his sister was in bed.
I have spoken to the ex regarding this, in the past - guess it didn't register or I was rude in my explanation, I don't know. In my opinion, if they want to know WHY, they can ask me. I hold nothing back. To ask a child seems to border on inappropriate. I know neither the ex nor the family mean any ill intent, however, they don't seem to get the concept that pitting children against their parents can be detrimental. Ignorance is more like it. They just don't seem to get that this smacks indecency.
Now, certainly, I have no intention of limiting phone calls. I will most certainly speak with the childrens counselllor before their next visit but if anyone has any ideas to deal with the other parent and give them an opporunity to understand that my concern is for the children and NOT for pissing the other parent/family off, it would be most appreciated.
I do have Tug of War and I was hoping to give that to the ex this weekend when the children go to visit. Any other ideas??
So tonight, during the call, I overhear my son explaining why he was sent to bed early last night. This seems to be happening frequently. Not the "sent to bed" but the continuous explanations from quite young children for things that happen in our home.( 7 & 8 respectively).
Last week, Grandma called and I told her she could not speak to grandaughter as she was in bed but her grandson was up. Within seconds my son was explaining why his sister was in bed.
I have spoken to the ex regarding this, in the past - guess it didn't register or I was rude in my explanation, I don't know. In my opinion, if they want to know WHY, they can ask me. I hold nothing back. To ask a child seems to border on inappropriate. I know neither the ex nor the family mean any ill intent, however, they don't seem to get the concept that pitting children against their parents can be detrimental. Ignorance is more like it. They just don't seem to get that this smacks indecency.
Now, certainly, I have no intention of limiting phone calls. I will most certainly speak with the childrens counselllor before their next visit but if anyone has any ideas to deal with the other parent and give them an opporunity to understand that my concern is for the children and NOT for pissing the other parent/family off, it would be most appreciated.
I do have Tug of War and I was hoping to give that to the ex this weekend when the children go to visit. Any other ideas??
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