Enough to have agreement amended?

[RLS]

Hey everyone, I apologize in advance for the long post. Dad's been to a FLIC lawyer recently for some advice on amending his and mom's agreement that was established in 2012. The lawyer advised dad to not even bother suggesting mediation to mom, just to move forward with a motion to change. The lawyer only skimmed through the clauses before telling dad to move forward. I was hoping you guys could take a look at the individual clauses and share your opinions.

The agreement that was signed in 2012 is incredibly vague, leaving too much room for one's own interpretation. Dad has asked mom numerous times to consider amending the agreement to a much more detailed one, to which she's always replied along the lines of, I fully understand the agreement, it's you that doesn't get it. Dad emailed mom again two days ago asking her to please consider revisiting mediation with him, but he was quickly shut down. The following are rough ideas that dad wishes to add to the agreement, none of which dad just pulled out of left field, we continue to struggle with each of these particular issues...

• If a travel advisory is issued, pickup and/or drop off time will be modified to ensure that travel does not take place during the travel advisory. If by 7:30pm that evening, the advisory has not yet been lifted, the pickup/drop-off will take place the following day by 9am, unless otherwise agreed to by both parents

Twice dad has been told he cannot pick up D8 because of bad weather and then hasn't been allowed to pick D8 up the following day until mid- afternoon.

• Should the Father’s work schedule permit, the Father may pick up the child from daycare at 3:30pm, for any expected pickup. If the Father is unable to pick up the child from daycare, transfer will take place as usual at 6:30pm, at (Location) in (City). There are no exceptions to this guideline

Dad now and then is able to leave work early and doesn't mind driving the entire two hours to pick up D8 from daycare, so that they can share extra time together. Mom has allowed Dad to do this once. We asked that this coming June we can pick her up at 3:30 from daycare on the Friday because we're taking her camping that wknd for her birthday and would like to get on the road early...Mom says No, you can pick her up from my house at 5:30. I don't think it's unreasonable that dad be allowed to drive the full two hrs to pick up D8 at 330 fm daycare when he can, instead of waiting 'till 630. The current order states that dad has reasonable access including but not limited to every other wknd from Friday at 6:30 until Sunday at 6:30.

Civic/Stat Holidays/Long Weekends/PA Days

• The parent whose weekend it is scheduled to be, will have the option of extending their regular weekend to include the Thursday and/or the Monday

Sometimes allowed by mom, sometimes not. If allowed, mom chooses the times, for example, pick-up at 5:15, drop off at 4:30 and then insists dad drive the 2hrs to pick up and the 2hrs to drop off, instead of meeting at the usual spot.

• March Break is defined as the period from Monday to Friday. To be shared between the parents as equally as possible, such that their regular weekend will be extended to include one half of the March Break period. Either parent’s March Break period will conclude at 6:30

Mom doesn't grant D8 and Dad time together on March Breaks. The current order states, "major holidays are to be shared equally..." Mom's response has been, "march break is not a major holiday."


For all other holidays, Dad wants to include clauses that are time and date specific, so to eliminate the back and forth between him and mom as much as possible. He's put together clauses for Easter, Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Years, etc.


Mom doesn't believe that summer vacation should be shared equally either. Dad and D8 get 7 nights together in July and again in August, these periods include his regular wknd access which really only gives them 5 extra nights together out of 2 months. He's asking for 2 or 3 additional nights/month.

• The Mother agrees to facilitate phone access between the Child and Father every Tuesday and Thursday between 6:45pm and 7pm. If the child is unavailable for phone contact at this time, the Mother will provide the Father with another time at which he may call, by no later than 7:30pm the following day

Every week, phone communication is a struggle, every week. Mom told dad he can call Tuesdays and Thursdays between 6:45 and 7pm. 9 out of 10 times dad calls, mom responds by texting, "i'm at work" meaning D8 is at home with the boyfriend and he's incapable of facilitating phone communication between D8 and her father. I don't think it's unreasonable for dad to call twice a week, whenever is best for D8's schedule, just so he can ask how her day was, tell her he loves her and say good night. He never expects more than a few minutes on the phone.



Dad would like a clause addressing when the child is hospitalized/medical emergencies/medical or dental procedures. Last year, one or two of you might remember, D8 was having her tonsils removed. Mom told dad he wasn't allowed to attend, that he only had a right to information regarding D8's health. In the current agreement, it only states that the father has a right to information regarding D8's health, welfare, etc.

• The child’s original health card will travel between the two homes

Dad took D8 to clinic once with a fever after having tonsils removed, they would only accept original health card. Dad was out $40. Mom told dad that she wouldn't loan him the original, that he had no reason to bring D8 there and in so many words it's his loss.

• 30 days written notice including destination details, travel details and contact information will be provided when a parent will be traveling out of province/crossing borders with the child

Current agreement only reads, "when traveling with child..."
mom is saying she expects campsite info, site #, etc. for where we usually take D8 camping, but she doesn't have to provide dad with an address to the cottage and trailer they stay at during the summer. Dad only really wants the particulars if mom is traveling out of province/across borders with D8. He trusts that mom is capable of contacting him in the case of an emergency, if they're only staying at a hotel in Barrie for the night, or at a cottage. Does anyone else have a more detailed clause regarding travel in their agreements?

• The child’s school agenda and any incomplete homework will be sent with the child on the Father’s scheduled access

Dad repeatedly asks to see any homework D8 has for the wknd and her school agenda in which homework, notes from teacher, etc. are written.
Mom responds by telling dad he has no right to see her agenda and she has no homework on the wknds. Current order only states Dad has a right to information regarding welfare, health, education...


Also, should dad ask for a more detailed clause regarding the exchange of tax info? Mom seems to think she doesn't have to give dad a copy of her T778 (child care expenses) every year when it clearly states in the Act that all schedules, materials are to be included when exchanging tax info every year.



Is this enough to go back to court with? Dad has been waiting until he felt there was enough of a reason to go back with, he was afraid to go back just for one or two things. I think he also had hopes that things would change for the better and they'd eventually work it out, but they haven't.



Any thoughts?

[HammerDad]

What does the original order say? Is the original order filed with the courts? If not, I'd file it. Once filed, it essentially becomes a court order. You will likely have to file it anyway so it can form part of the continuing record.

Plus, I find that once you advise that the agreement is now filed with the courts and that acting contrary to the agreement is now contempt, the ex may wise up a bit.

You will have one issue in attempting to file a motion to change. What is the material change of circumstance? She will argue there is none that warrants a change. You will argue that the agreement was originally filed in good faith and the ex's refusal to act in good faith constitute a change and further the agreement needs to be updated given the age of the child. It is by no means a slam dunk.

[RLS]

What does the original order say? Is the original order filed with the courts? If not, I'd file it. Once filed, it essentially becomes a court order. You will likely have to file it anyway so it can form part of the continuing record.

Plus, I find that once you advise that the agreement is now filed with the courts and that acting contrary to the agreement is now contempt, the ex may wise up a bit.

You will have one issue in attempting to file a motion to change. What is the material change of circumstance? She will argue there is none that warrants a change. You will argue that the agreement was originally filed in good faith and the ex's refusal to act in good faith constitute a change and further the agreement needs to be updated given the age of the child. It is by no means a slam dunk.

Original order is filed with the courts. Done through mediation/minutes of settlement. Dad being new to everything, couldn't foresee the issues that would arise with this agreement.

Dad's mentioned contempt on a couple occasions. It doesn't worry mom at all, I think because she truly believes that she's being reasonable, doing nothing wrong. Everything on email.

"You will argue that the agreement was originally filed in good faith and the ex's refusal to act in good faith constitute a change and further the agreement needs to be updated given the age of the child."

Sounds right. Thank you, HammerDad.

It's worth a try. The back and forth, the inconsistencies, the it's my way, or no way attitude, is incredibly exhausting, deflating. I think by detailing the agreement with specifics will only benefit D8 and both parents.

[RLS]

Other than custody arrangements - sole/access, the original order only states:

• Father's access to child shall be reasonable access on reasonable notice including but not limited to:

the Father shall have the child every other wknd from Friday

6:30pm until Sunday at 6:30pm

• All major holidays shall be equally shared between the parties on a rotating basis. To this end, both parties shall discuss and agree on details at least 30 days prior to each holiday

• Neither parent shall remove child permanently from province of Ontario without written consent or court order

• In the event a party is traveling with child, traveling party shall notify other party, in writing, at least 30 days in advance

• Parties shall provide each other with consent-to-travel letter with details including location, destination, mode of travel and other contact info where other party can reach child during travel

• Both parties shall provide each other with individual income tax return and NOA of the previous year by June 1st so that child support/section 7 expenses can be adjusted by July 1st if required

• Father shall have the right to information regarding child's education, welfare and healthcare issues. To this end, Father may contact all necessary organizations and care providers himself

That's it.

[RLS]

Can someone please verify that the following steps are how one moves forward with a motion to change - no request is being made to change custody or support -

1) Fill out Form15 (motion to change), attach exisiting court order/minutes of settlement

2) Fill out Form15A (change information form) with the changes you'd like to be made

3) File Forms 15 and 15A with the court

4) Serve Respondent with Form 15, 15A, blank Form 15B (response to motion to change and blank Form 15C (consent motion to change)

5) File Form 6B (affidavit of service) with the court

Await case conference...


We're a little confused when it comes to filling out Form15.

It says on page 3, i ask the court to change the existing court order or support agreement by making an order as follows...

Dad currently has 'reasonable access' and would like to change it to 'fixed access.' Numbers 2 and 4 on page 3 address access. How would Dad fill out numbers 2 and 4? Should he save the details for Form15A?

I once saw a post on the forum that addressed how to fill everything out when amending an agreement/order, and I can't find it now. It showed where and how to break down the new clauses.