what are my rights for moving out of province

[frenchiemichele]

My husband has been talking about divorce for about a year. We have now come to an impasse and I believe we will be separating shortly. This is not what I want, but I think that it would be best for all the parties involved. Here is my question: as far as assets are concerned, I have no intention of a bitter, long-drawned out divorce proceeding or anything. He can keep everything and we can sell the house and clear our debts so we can each start fresh. All I want is the car. My biggest issue, however, is our 20 month-old son. I want us to share his time equally as I really believe that this will be beneficial to him, and I definitely don't want to rip him away from his father, who is very caring and loving towards him, but all my family and friends are located in Quebec, and we currently live in Ontario. All his friends and family are here, and it would be an extremely awkward situation to be subjected to the daily run-in's with various people from his "side" and me being completely by myself (my closest relatives are about 700 kms away). What are my rights in taking my son with me back to Quebec? Is there a way we can split custody even though it is quite a long distance? He is telling me that it is against the law for me to take him out of province, but I cannot imagine being by myself here, going through a very difficult time, because like I said, separation/divorce is not what I want, but it is what he wants. I can't force him to stay, so I need to find the next best alternative for my son to have a somewhat happy childhood. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[billm]

To raise your child together, which you consider to be the best option for all, you should live as close as possible to your childs father. In my opinion there is simply no other option. To raise the child by both parents equally, requires a schedule but also flexibility such that when one parent cannot take care of the child for a prearranged time, the other parent is there.

So you have to either all live where you are now, or all live in Quebec.

Given that you are already in Ontario and in an area near relatives, that is where you must stay unless you can all agree to move, which I doubt.

This is not the best for you, but is best for your husband, and of no effect to your child as they are too young to care at this point.

If you went to court I believe that you would not be allowed to move your child away. Equal physical custody 700 km would never be ordered by a court - if you moved away, you would become a part time parent.

You decided to live where you are and raise the child there. Now that your marriage is over (I am sorry to hear this), your location to raise your child should remain the same unless you can both agree to relocate.

[frenchiemichele]

Thank you billm. Ultimately, I only care about what is best for my son, and if it means facing the ex-in-laws and friends, then so be it. I was just hoping against hope that I might have an alternative option. I guess I don't have to stay in this town, I can always move to a near, but different city where there is enough people, reducing the chances I run into one of them.

[billm]

The closer you live to each other the better, though I would prefer out of eye sight (ie. not on the same street, but in the same neighbourhood).

How many times do you actually run into the other family? I recognize this is not a good time for you, but in a year or two you will probably feel very different and the ease of living near your ex with respect to raising your child will more important than avoiding seeing the ex's family.

Best of luck in the up coming months....

As for asssets etc, you can make is simple, but the best for all is for you to take half the value of all assets and debts. Avoid any other solution as in the long run it will cause one of you regrests - keep it simple, but make sure it is fair (should not be too hard to divide by 2, I think that is Grade 2 math or so)....

[today]

It is perfectly understanable that you would wish to move for all the reasons you mentioned but impossible to maintain a so called equal parenting plan, you could possibly come to an agreement where you have extended periods of time with your children through vacation time and holidays though. That if you feel moving is your only option.

[tomgirl]

Hi,\
I am not a lawyer, just livingthrough this experience...

1) If the proceedings have not commenced, you can move to Quebec with the children.
2) The custody battles happen where the children reside.
3) if the proceedings commenced, you will have to wait until you obtained full custody.
4) After 6 months, depending, I am not sure you can move to Quebec if it is job related, and you can get the custody changed in that province which is QC...
5) Try to get something in writing from your ex, so you are not charged for kidnapping

[billiechic]

While the previous post might all be legally true (I don't know), I don't think it is something you should do without speaking to a lawyer. If the father doesn't agree (in writing) taking a child out of province will be held against you. I would think carefully about this.

[NoahJenda]

Be careful. If you move your child without a separation agreement or court order explicitly allowing you to do so, a judge would look very unfavourably on that. If your ex catches wind of your plans, he could get an emergency court order preventing the move.

You might be able to convince a judge that the move is in the best interests of the child. But that's sometimes very difficult to do, especially if it means your ex won't be able to see one parent much at all.

[tomgirl]

In my experience, the lawyer was not honest, if you consult a lawyer in QC, then they they might just say to go ahead and move if the proceedings have not commenced. With regards to reasons accepted for moving out of province, there is information on Justice Canada... Beware, QC courts like to keep the children in Quebec, so should you decided to leave the province of QC, you will need a court to make this judment officially, as I did obtain permission from my spouse, and for now it is not being accepted. And I am now facing charges, I am just told now that I should of moved to Ontario before we commenced the proceeding in QC... In Quebec they have there own civil law, it defers from the Canadian Law. However, when you appeal to higher courts then the Canadian Law applies. But you need a lot of money supposibly. You can always get a motion to change a judment rendered if you have grounds.

[dadtotheend]

You titled this thread, "what are my rights for moving out of province". In family law, it's not about your rights, it's about the rights of the children.

Your child's right to have lots of access to both parents will be put at the forefront.

[4thechildren]

I agree with dadtotheend. Be very careful in your decisions. Moving away will probably not be in the best interests of your child. He has a right to be parented by both parents. It isn't really about your rights or the father's rights, it is about what is best for the child. Start digging and read studies on the effects divorce has on children. I would try everything possible to reconcile your marriage. If not it is in your best interests and the interests of the child that you and your husband be reasonable and settle a equal parenting plan amoungst yourselves. Nobody wins when it ends up in family court. They will dictate what happens to your children.