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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 05-16-2018, 10:08 AM
thh1 thh1 is offline
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Default Do you think it is a control problem?

I am not sure if I am too defensive. I have kids every other weekends and my ex always want to know the details in advance ( what is my plan, where am I going with kids etc). Sometimes she wanna to come if the kids are in a public area. How to say "no"? It is really bothering me that I feel sb is behind all the time.
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Old 05-16-2018, 01:46 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Its not a control problem to want time alone with your kids and she is being unreasonable with her demands.

Simply tell her that you don’t question what the kids do on her time and you expect the same respect. Should there be an opportunity to participate when they are with you, you will let her know, otherwise you are free to enjoy the children on your time without her.

A lot of new divorced parents have this problem and its better to put your foot down early and firmly.
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Old 05-16-2018, 02:18 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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it is a control problem but she is the one with the problem, not you. Unless you are leaving the country what you do with the kids are your time is your business.
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Old 05-17-2018, 10:02 AM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thh1 View Post
How to say "no"? .
I'm glad that you want to spend time with the kids! I will certainly give you a shout when we are doing plans that could involve you. Should I email or text?

Then you never give her a shout.
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Old 05-17-2018, 08:52 PM
mom22girls mom22girls is offline
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When she asks what your plans are, say “I’m not sure yet, I think the kids and I are going to figure that out when we get home”


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Old 05-21-2018, 05:12 PM
foreverhome foreverhome is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thh1 View Post
I am not sure if I am too defensive. I have kids every other weekends and my ex always want to know the details in advance ( what is my plan, where am I going with kids etc). Sometimes she wanna to come if the kids are in a public area. How to say "no"? It is really bothering me that I feel sb is behind all the time.
In this situation you the one who has to enforce your agreement,
How old are the kids? If they are little, you have control by removing them from a the area, because it's easy to control small kids. But if they are teens or over 10, than you have very little control simply because his can just walk away with the mother. Try to talk to the mother.
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