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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21  
Old 05-04-2018, 06:15 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Istanbul View Post
Two weekends per month, one week for March break, one week for New Year, and one third of the summer.
Instanbul, I dont blame you for wanting more access, thats an awful schedule. What if you took baby steps and did a 1 night a weekday with the kids, take them out for dinner even if its just the oldest child to start. Do they do activities after school, join them and watch or try to get involved by volunteering anything to be more involved.

Your ex must be "Super Mom", 3 kids and she doesnt want some extra time to herself?
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  #22  
Old 05-04-2018, 07:58 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kate331 View Post
Your ex must be "Super Mom", 3 kids and she doesnt want some extra time to herself?

I would guess she cares more about full table cs then being super mom.
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  #23  
Old 05-04-2018, 08:51 PM
Istanbul Istanbul is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kate331 View Post
Instanbul, I dont blame you for wanting more access, thats an awful schedule. What if you took baby steps and did a 1 night a weekday with the kids, take them out for dinner even if its just the oldest child to start. Do they do activities after school, join them and watch or try to get involved by volunteering anything to be more involved.

Your ex must be "Super Mom", 3 kids and she doesnt want some extra time to herself?
I have tried asking for one child for one night only, also denied.

My case is actually quite complicated and unusual in many ways. I just found out about this forum recently and I have not told my entire story yet. I am trying to break it down into pieces, hence my question about the age at which a judge would consider the opinion of a child, and whether the younger ones would follow. But it is only one piece of the entire puzzle.

Whether my ex is super mom, I would say far from it, but I will elaborate on this in other threads in due time I will have pages and pages to write! Nor am I super dad!

Thank you for your advice
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  #24  
Old 05-08-2018, 02:54 AM
The-Iceberg The-Iceberg is offline
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A 9 year old has been going to his dad after school during time with his mom and no one could do anything about it. no one could force him to go to mom. They both lived very close to each other.

HappyMomma, if I understand, your ex has told the child she cannot stay 50/50 with him. That is traumatic for a child when being pushed away by own parent. For that reason I would not even encourage yet alone force her to go to him. Let him go to court.

Kids at age 12 know where they like to be more but law is one thing and justice another.
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  #25  
Old 05-10-2018, 04:36 PM
Istanbul Istanbul is offline
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Quote:
Two weekends per month, one week for March break, one week for New Year, and one third of the summer.
To clarify my previous statement in light of comments from @kate331 in another thread:

I do not live in Canada. I fly in, see the children two consecutive weekends. Then I fly out. I asked to get the children for an entire week at a time rather than just the weekends, and ex refused.

The only times I get the children on week days are when there is no school.

I do not have a residence in Canada. For March break, New Year, and 1/3 of the summer I host the children in their grand parents house. For weekends here and there, we go to a hotel on weekend mini-trips.

How would joint custody work? Well if I had joint custody, I would get a residence in Canada. But at the moment since my ex is refusing anything, I have not had a reason to get settled.
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  #26  
Old 05-10-2018, 04:51 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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I dont blame the ex for refusing. You do not have a permanent home in Canada. If you are serious about joint custody, or heck even seeing your kids more, then get settled in Canada. You do have a reason to get settled, you want to get more time with the kids.
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  #27  
Old 05-10-2018, 07:41 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
I dont blame the ex for refusing. You do not have a permanent home in Canada. If you are serious about joint custody, or heck even seeing your kids more, then get settled in Canada. You do have a reason to get settled, you want to get more time with the kids.


This...

You canít argue you want more time when you donít live in Canada and donít have a residence. Get yourself settled so the children can see you more and then try to argue for more access


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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  #28  
Old 05-10-2018, 11:51 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Istanbul, agree with the other posters! Your putting the cart before the horse. You need to prove your active in your kids lives then ask for Joint Custody. Who is taking the children to Dr's appointments, Dentists, Teacher interviews, doing homework, making sure chores get done? Attending all the school events and extra circular activities.

You cant raise the children in a hotel room, Grandparents home, maybe.

What if there is an emergency with one of the kids, where are you in another country.

A Judge had to tell my ex, you cant leave all your parenting responsibilities up to your ex and expect Joint Custody. Show the Judge ahead of time, when your ready and willing, bear in mind status quo has set in, and it could be too late.
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  #29  
Old 05-11-2018, 10:36 AM
youngdad91 youngdad91 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kate331 View Post
Istanbul, agree with the other posters! Your putting the cart before the horse. You need to prove your active in your kids lives then ask for Joint Custody. Who is taking the children to Dr's appointments, Dentists, Teacher interviews, doing homework, making sure chores get done? Attending all the school events and extra circular activities.

You cant raise the children in a hotel room, Grandparents home, maybe.

What if there is an emergency with one of the kids, where are you in another country.

A Judge had to tell my ex, you cant leave all your parenting responsibilities up to your ex and expect Joint Custody. Show the Judge ahead of time, when your ready and willing, bear in mind status quo has set in, and it could be too late.
Perfect example of moms and courts working together to manipulate children and father's out of a meaningful relationship with one another. Mom denies access, bears all responsibility, drags the thing to court for full guideline table amount mommy support, then argues he was never there, he never did anything, and that she has the status quo. Well fuck, the father was never given any chance to do any of these things. sexism if you ask me.

I don't see how it makes sense for the father to settle in and everything until he has a court order giving him proper rights to his children. Enough human rights abuse, Canada, seriously. I do agree however given the unfortunates of our system and it's bias against men and major focus and tenancy on spitting out full guideline table child support orders for women, best you settle in to give the Canadian judge one less excuse to use to cover up discriminating you based on your gender.

Last edited by youngdad91; 05-11-2018 at 10:40 AM.
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  #30  
Old 05-11-2018, 12:01 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Istanbul View Post
How would joint custody work? Well if I had joint custody, I would get a residence in Canada. But at the moment since my ex is refusing anything, I have not had a reason to get settled.
1) Joint custody is about decision making. You could see the kids a grand total of zero days a year and still have joint custody. Unless you are high conflict, you will automatically get joint custody. In your case, it will probably be the fake joint custody where one parent has the "final say", but they will still tell you that you have joint custody. Perhaps you mean shared custody?

2) Unfortunately, you have to get the residence before you get the kids. I get your position, why get a house if you won't get the kids? Unfortunately, that's not how judges think. First you have to move here. Then you have to start increasing your time with the kids (think EOW), and then you continue to increase it from that point.

Right now, you have shown almost no parenting ability. I don't mean that as an insult, more of an observation. Hanging out 4 times a year in a hotel room means that you're a fun uncle, not a father. The judge just sees a father who has never been a father. You need to create evidence that you're a father, and you can't do that from another country.
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