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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #31  
Old 03-28-2018, 12:26 PM
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
I thought these things just go through conferences. Lawyer hopes it will be settled. We are waiting for ex to file for a conference date.
Conferences are a waste of time in most cases. Because if parents were reasonable they would have settled out of court or through another dispute resolution process like Med-Arb.

The reality is that a conference is just set up for a motion. If parties agree then they agree and settle. Conferences judges do not have the power to order anything other than technical stuff. You will have to proceed to a motion or trial to get an order if an agreement can't be reached.

You are about to pay thousands upon thousands in the conference loop all to end up in a motion anyways.
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  #32  
Old 03-28-2018, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
I think you have misunderstood. We are not arguing about access. We realize our distance will be a factor in not seeing the teen shall he decide to get a job.
What I am stating it is not a "factor" it is the "reason".

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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
We are not arguing the teen should come and have to commute 1.5 hours to work and back.
I am arguing that if your partner wants access then he should do the 1.5 commute and live in close proximity to the child.
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  #33  
Old 03-28-2018, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Conferences are a waste of time in most cases. Because if parents were reasonable they would have settled out of court or through another dispute resolution process like Med-Arb.



The reality is that a conference is just set up for a motion. If parties agree then they agree and settle. Conferences judges do not have the power to order anything other than technical stuff. You will have to proceed to a motion or trial to get an order if an agreement can't be reached.



You are about to pay thousands upon thousands in the conference loop all to end up in a motion anyways.


Im planning to ask the lawyer if he will push for a motion if the conference goes nowhere. The ex is unreasonable and is asking for things that are not in the FCSG and jurisprudence. Mediation was a no due to cost and what she is demanding. Lawyer thinks a judge will be able to remind her of what she is entitled to. I donít want my partner paying thousands for conferences. Lawyer said a trial will cost thousands more. I have a feeling ex is simply doing this to bleed my partner. If she canít have the money, he cant have it either.
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  #34  
Old 03-28-2018, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Then CS ends in this scenario.
If this is a temporary arrangement, just for the summer and the child is returning to the CP's home in time for school to start, I don't see this. Maybe a reduced amount for this time however the costs to maintain a home for the child remains the same.
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  #35  
Old 03-28-2018, 01:08 PM
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Im planning to ask the lawyer if he will push for a motion if the conference goes nowhere.
Isnt it up to the other party to ask for a Motion at the Conference?

Whats the advantage for Rockscan to ask for it?

IMO, you do not need a lawyer for a CC its a waste of legal fees.
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  #36  
Old 03-28-2018, 02:20 PM
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Originally Posted by kate331 View Post
Isnt it up to the other party to ask for a Motion at the Conference?



Whats the advantage for Rockscan to ask for it?



IMO, you do not need a lawyer for a CC its a waste of legal fees.


I would agree with you but my partner had ptsd before his divorce and it flared up through the first court process for the divorce. He sought treatment and was getting better but the papers being served impacted him so badly I dont think he could represent himself effectively.

The only reason I think it needs to be pushed to a motion is because the ex agrees with no law. His lawyer in the divorce proceedings had to file an application to get things moving because she walked out of mediation and ignored all letters asking to meet for the agreement. The judge at that hearing told her if she didnít work on it judge would move in my partners favour. (Note that I am gleaning this from what my partner has said and what his present lawyer thinks happened based on his knowledge of the process. Partner said judge told her to shut up and quit delaying or she would order my partner to get more than what he was seeking.)
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  #37  
Old 03-28-2018, 04:39 PM
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Rockscan, I think I would just let the crazy ex lead the way (motion/trial), and have your partner respond in a reasonable manor. I am hoping for your sake that the ex is just bluffing, seems your case gets stuck and doesn't move forward towards an end. How long have you been at this, its so discouraging for us newbies to think this goes on for years and years
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  #38  
Old 03-28-2018, 06:05 PM
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Heís been divorced for seven years. Shes been difficult from the beginning and dragged the kids into it. When I came along she had more ammunition. Now that we are permanently together shes got it in her head that my money is on the table too. She also refuses to follow the law or the agreement and finally filed a motion but has been sitting on it for almost a year now. My partner has been following his obligations (thanks to my research and this forum) and is simply waiting for her to move forward or pull her head out of her ass and as a result we have moments where he stresses about what shes planning and he struggles with the bigger distance with his kids because they are just angrier as they get older and have to take responsibility (WHICH THEY SHOULD!!!).

I always joke that reasonable people work faster but then remember that reasonable people donít need the courts and there are way too many unreasonable people which is why the courts are so full.

It also really irks me when I hear so many of you with exs who dont want to see or spend time with their kids. I think Im going to start a side business where I go and punch these jerks in the face. Helps you with the problem and helps me resolve some stress.
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  #39  
Old 03-28-2018, 06:53 PM
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I will hire you in a minute to punch my ex in the face My oldest (7) is really struggling without Dad. He misses the evening bike rides, wrestling matches and Dad's steaks on the BBQ.

I too appreciate this forum for all this insight so my kids dont end up resenting their Father. I hope for you and your partner the children will come to know the Father they missed out on. I am guessing due to their teenager minds they are self centered and maybe cant see past Mom's pain. I learnt in a counselling session that children will try to "protect" the parent they "persieve" as the victim.

That said, I myself had a hard time accepting the new partner in my ex's life, at the beginning I felt she was the home wrecker, and trying "win" the children over. I am so over it now, and am grateful for her help on his parenting time.

Opps sorry Denbigh, we just totally stole your thread. Rockscan you should open a new one to help you and your partner move forward, its been waaaay too long for you to live in limbo like this.
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  #40  
Old 03-28-2018, 07:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
If this is a temporary arrangement, just for the summer and the child is returning to the CP's home in time for school to start, I don't see this. Maybe a reduced amount for this time however the costs to maintain a home for the child remains the same.
should the money not follow the child? The relatives are the ones providing the food and shelter for the child so they should be compensated for it.
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