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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 09-28-2011, 02:27 PM
muskokamom muskokamom is offline
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Default Post Secondary Education - Adult Child

When is it going to end??
My husband's ex lied to FRO and the courts stating he owed back child support for the past 11 yrs. Once FRO contacted us we faxed the cashed cheques and supporting documents. But FRO said too bad so sad we have to believe the applicant go to court. So after $1000's of dollars later the court set our child support at "zero".
Both his kids have been out of the house for the past 2+ yrs. and supporting themselves. But we agreed to pay for 1/2 of his daughters post education which she can't afford from her employment and OSAP. Which we have NO problem doing so. We would help her out no matter what.
Since our child support has been set at "zero" and we are trying to deal with his daughter and her education but his ex can't seem to keep her nose out of our business. She wants to break us up and hasn't been able to do so. How can we get her to stop bothering us? How do we stop her from spreading BS rumors? She is a nasty person and gives ex-wives a BAD name.
Please help with any advice.
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Old 09-28-2011, 02:40 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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You can't fix stupid. Should the ex step into the picture on matters that are none of her concern, simply state that she isn't involved in this matter and therefore you won't be discussing it with her.

Simply put, ignore her. If she emails you about something, unless it is important and warrants a response, ignore. Just create folder in your email call "Stupid Box" and put it there. Have another file for relevent questions.

If she calls, that is what voicemail is for. Don't answer unknown numbers.

Should her calls become threatening or harrassing, call the police and get a restraining order.

As for what she posts on facebook or says to people, you can't stop her from spewing her venom. If it is threatening you can call the police.
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Old 09-28-2011, 02:46 PM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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Quote:
How do we stop her from spreading BS rumors?
Simple...you can't. My stbx does this too...he's tried every lie in the book and then some new ones and will tell them to anyone who will listen. Its common in divorce...happens most of the time.

The good news is that his kids are growing up and she'll have very little leverage to do anything to you soon. If all she does is go around town spreading garbage...then ignore it. There's nothing else you can do. Don't counter it or bother with it...if its mentioned to you, chuckle, roll your eyes, and talk about something else. Eventually people that you care about and who have half a functioning braincell will realize she's a freak and find something more interesting to think about. Concentrate on your marriage and making yourself and your husband happy...trust me, your having a happy relationship will be all the revenge you need.
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Old 09-28-2011, 03:06 PM
muskokamom muskokamom is offline
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To our understanding us helping pay for his daughter post education NOTHING to do with her (his ex). And we have told his daughter we won't respond to anything her mother sends us. If the daughter wants our help to deal with us directly.

His obligation to his ex wife for child support has been terminated. But she keeps threatening us to take us back to court if we don't supply her with receipts of what we paid.

I can't handle much more!! I try to stay strong but this has been going on for the past 5 yrs.
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Old 09-28-2011, 03:21 PM
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How hard can it be to 100% ignore her? She will get tired of sending emails/calling/texting or whatever she is doing.

block her calls and texts, and set up an automated reply that her emails are not longer accepted.
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Old 09-28-2011, 03:50 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by muskokamom View Post
To our understanding us helping pay for his daughter post education NOTHING to do with her (his ex). And we have told his daughter we won't respond to anything her mother sends us. If the daughter wants our help to deal with us directly.

His obligation to his ex wife for child support has been terminated. But she keeps threatening us to take us back to court if we don't supply her with receipts of what we paid.

I can't handle much more!! I try to stay strong but this has been going on for the past 5 yrs.
Your involvement in this should be non-existant outside of being a supportive wife. Let your husband deal with his ex.

You are not party to the court order/agreement, so you shouldn't involve yourself in matters related to the court. Yes, your husband should keep you informed and discuss matters as they relate to the household. But he should be the one to communicate with his ex, not you. You have no obligation to her. Ignore her.

If she should email the house, it is up to your husband to reply, and he should generally reply with "According to the court order dated XYZ, our obligation to pay you child support was terminated. If you have concerns regarding our child and her education and health, please let me know. By now you should understand that I have never and would never financially abandon our child and will continue to support her though her education. However, I am not obligated and you are not entitled to be privy to any financial assistance I provide our daughter. As such, I respectfully request that you refrain from constantly requesting information you are not entitled to. I will continue to deal with [child] regarding all financial assistance going forward."
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Old 09-28-2011, 04:43 PM
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NBDad NBDad is offline
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THAT X 1000000000



Copy that, and every time she sends you a nastygram, you reply with that exact message. Copy her lawyer, if she has one, so it costs her money too.
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Old 09-28-2011, 05:04 PM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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I don't get it..you said this:

Quote:
Both his kids have been out of the house for the past 2+ yrs. and supporting themselves.
Quote:
But she keeps threatening us to take us back to court if we don't supply her with receipts of what we paid.
How would she be able to take you back to court for child support issues being that the children are out of the house? In addition, if she wants a copy of the tuition statement...either the daughter can get this or she can get it herself if she's also paying on the tuition account. I'd chalk this up to a lot of blowing smoke up your ass and as other posters have said..ignore it completely and let him talk to her.

Count yourself lucky that these children are older and almost self-sufficient. This likelihood she's taking your husband to court over this is minimal and would be unsuccessful. If she does it...you can also ask for costs since its frivolous. She is obviously looking for a way to create disharmony in your household....stop giving her one...ignore her.
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Old 09-29-2011, 02:45 PM
muskokamom muskokamom is offline
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She lied to FRO and the court stating my husband didn't pay his child support for the past 11 years. To stop all the BS even after trying to get FRO to understand we paid they said so sorry too bad go to court that's why we had to go to court. His son came to live with him in 2005 which she said he never came til 2006 then went off to college now living on his own. 2009 to 2010 his daughter lived with us then moved out on her own.

Anything we do and she finds out she copies. Taking us to court has for child support he paid cost us about $6000 to prove he did pay. We live in a very small town and everyone knows each other that's why her spending all this BS is very difficult.
My husband figures if he just ignores her she will go away but she doesn't it ends costing us more money. He relays on me to help him deal with all this. So I can't just stay out of it. They don't speak to each other. There is no reasoning with her. It just cost us money (courts and lawyers cost) to try and get her to stop.
  #10  
Old 09-29-2011, 03:22 PM
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Quote:
His son came to live with him in 2005 which she said he never came til 2006 then went off to college now living on his own. 2009 to 2010 his daughter lived with us then moved out on her own.
So get them to swear an affidavit regarding WHEN they moved in. Or get the report cards, doctor's records, etc, that show the kids were with you during that time.

Quote:
Anything we do and she finds out she copies. Taking us to court has for child support he paid cost us about $6000 to prove he did pay. We live in a very small town and everyone knows each other that's why her spending all this BS is very difficult.
1. Stop caring so much about what other people think. Anyone that makes an immediate judgement without having BOTH sides of the story isn't worth your time.

2. Did you ask for costs given her claims were proven to be blatant lies? The courts won't give you anything you don't ask for, and your lawyer should have at least TRIED to ask for his fees to be covered.
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