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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 09-09-2011, 06:34 AM
dadontherocks dadontherocks is offline
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My wife (now x) is still living in the house after admitting a 4 year affair and continues to visit and stay over at her boyfriends. She won't leave because she knows the precedent it sets regarding rulings over the kids. She has repeatedly lied to the kids about where she is and cancelled events with them to spend time with her boyfriend. He is the priority in her life, not them.

My 3 kids know this and the tension in the house is awful. My daughter (16) has a bad relationship with her mother to start with through abandonment issues and now hates her and barely speaks to her. The 2 younger boys love their mom, as they should, but are confused.
I want to somehow get her out of the house ASAP, then proceed with the divorce stuff, which will take longer. I have no problem with joint custody and her seeing the kids often, but her remaining in the house is too tense.

Would getting a child lawyer help if they determine the kids are suffering and I have been by far the primary caregiver over the last 4 years. Can she be ordered to leave ? I'm not thinking of this as a tactic just for myself, my kids are truly stressed... my daughter says the message she gets is adultery has no consequences. Her mom was always big on consequences.
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Old 09-09-2011, 07:11 AM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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Why on earth are your kids privy to so many details?
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Old 09-09-2011, 04:49 PM
dadontherocks dadontherocks is offline
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Because their mom finally admitted it to me and told them. Now her 16 yr old daughter feels sick about it, my sons are confused and she still spends 8-10 nights a month away from home , not to mention most other evenings when she comes home after 9:30pm. She goes from work to see the boyfriend, then home and tells the kids she was working late. They (except the daughter) believe her and I say nothing to make it worse for them.
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Old 09-09-2011, 05:11 PM
MommaMouse MommaMouse is offline
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Unfortunatly you have no quick way of 'throwing her out' she has just as many rights to the matremonial house as you do. So you will have to fight it out in court. Keeping the kids out of it as much as possible is the best thing. Also check in your area for support groups for kids going through similar things.
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Old 09-09-2011, 09:14 PM
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Isn't there something about filing for exclusive possession of the home? If they are in such conflict, he should probably do it before she does. It definitely sounds like her frequent absences have made him the primary caregiver, so it makes sense that he be the one to stay in the home with the kids. He can easily argue that her unpredictable absences are stressful on the children.
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dadontherocks View Post
My wife (now x) is still living in the house after admitting a 4 year affair and continues to visit and stay over at her boyfriends. She won't leave because she knows the precedent it sets regarding rulings over the kids. She has repeatedly lied to the kids about where she is and cancelled events with them to spend time with her boyfriend. He is the priority in her life, not them.
I lie to my kid all the time. Yes, there is a Santa Claus. And an Easter Bunny, too. That's my prerogative, as a parent.

You've asked several times how to get her out of the house and you've been given the answers that an order seeking exclusive possession is required.

Why on earth would you even think of involving your kids even more, with childrens lawyers and inevitable counsellors for your kids into the situation with you and your stbx? stop grasping at straws, get a lawyer and get exclusive possession.
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