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  • #16
    I also noticed the issue with the birthday, and the ex wanting to spend time with the child.

    My only question would be, what does the agreement provide with regards to the kids birthday? Does it state that each parent shall get some time to see the child on the child's birthday? Or is it like mine, where the birthday is treated just like another day for the parenting time schedule?

    IMO, the ex will likely lose bad should there be a need for court. But lets hope they come to their senses.

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    • #17
      If the ex refuses all offers, there really isn't any other recourse for the OP, especially given that it is in their order, and he has already given his consent verbally and via text when this trip was in the planning stages.

      Comment


      • #18
        The dates are not, and never were negotiable. I am going for a work conference Aug 22-26th and am adding an extra couple days so we can go to Disney. The trip would not be in my budget if there was no conference.

        He did bring up going before the conference so he could see her the day AFTER her birthday, but then agreed later that this timeline would be fine. So he KNEW this would be the situation from the beginning.

        Our order does not deal with birthdays. It was discussed during mediation however this was dropped and never made it into the order or agreement. We share 50/50 on a 2-2-5-5 schedule so we both see her all the time.

        I am of course willing to have him Skype her. it would be a problem on her birthday though, since we WILL be at Disney. But anytime during the vacation and a phone call on her birthday are a given.

        I am just trying to take my kid to Disney. There is no bad intent on my part. There is no cooperation on his part; he is manipulative and has taken 4 months to "decide" if our daughter can go on a family vacation. It's not even during the school year. So I ask you..what valid reason could he have for saying no and taking THIS LONG to agree??

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        • #19
          Originally posted by billiechic View Post
          The dates are not, and never were negotiable. I am going for a work conference Aug 22-26th and am adding an extra couple days so we can go to Disney. The trip would not be in my budget if there was no conference.

          He did bring up going before the conference so he could see her the day AFTER her birthday, but then agreed later that this timeline would be fine. So he KNEW this would be the situation from the beginning.

          Our order does not deal with birthdays. It was discussed during mediation however this was dropped and never made it into the order or agreement. We share 50/50 on a 2-2-5-5 schedule so we both see her all the time.

          I am of course willing to have him Skype her. it would be a problem on her birthday though, since we WILL be at Disney. But anytime during the vacation and a phone call on her birthday are a given.

          I am just trying to take my kid to Disney. There is no bad intent on my part. There is no cooperation on his part; he is manipulative and has taken 4 months to "decide" if our daughter can go on a family vacation. It's not even during the school year. So I ask you..what valid reason could he have for saying no and taking THIS LONG to agree??
          He doesn't have one, he is being unreasonable.

          My ex tried to do the same to me. Our DRO at our case conference (not scheduled for this purpose) told her that she was being unreasonable (my kids were missing school).

          Send him a very stern letter.

          Tell him he agreed on xyz date, you booked on xyz date. Should he not attend your lawyers to sign the papers by xyz date you will have no choice but to take him to court seeking an order to have his permission waived and you will be seeking costs.

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          • #20
            OP...obviously this is now a lessons learned for you and others that might choose to ignore covering all your bases when it comes to a separation agreement.

            What we know thus far: This trip (the Disney part) is in the child's best interest, and yes it can be argued that the ex is being a tool about it.

            Additionally, you have have admitted this

            The dates are not, and never were negotiable. I am going for a work conference Aug 22-26th and am adding an extra couple days so we can go to Disney. The trip would not be in my budget if there was no conference.

            He did bring up going before the conference so he could see her the day AFTER her birthday, but then agreed later that this timeline would be fine. So he KNEW this would be the situation from the beginning.
            Again....based on what you wrote here in the last paragraph above, your ex seems to be going back on his words.

            However, it behooves you now once you get back from this trip...which should happen regardless, that you take care of this portion of the problem below:

            Our order does not deal with birthdays. It was discussed during mediation however this was dropped and never made it into the order or agreement. We share 50/50 on a 2-2-5-5 schedule so we both see her all the time.
            Those of us with shared custody, operate the 2-2-5-5, and it includes birthdays, summer holiday, father/mother's day, kid's birthday, easter, etc...you get the gist

            You probably didn't mean it as this came across in your writing......but this doesn't sound right

            I am of course willing to have him Skype her.
            Regardless of who' parenting time it is with the kid wherever you are on the globe...if kid says they want to speak to the other parent, you should honour that request without any personal agenda coming between the kid and the other parent! I am sure any Judge will concur

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            • #21
              these are directly from our 2 court orders. I did try to cover all the bases. I have a LONG history on here and anyone that is still around from my time would know that I did everything I could to cover EVERY possible situation.
              " Travel outside of Ontario will be permitted and will require a signed letter of consent from the non-travelling parent. Consent will be provided"

              "planned travel must be requested 2 weeks prior to the trip and include all information including flight, hotel destination etc" He has received all this info already

              I did find that the first court order dealt with her birthday though. However is states that if falling on a weekend that the non-residential parent will be allowed 3 hours on the following day, or if on a weekend a full day with her on the following weekend. Since he has her the weekend following her birthday this year then there is no compensatory access required. I have met the order already.

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              • #22
                Would like to add that though our parenting relationship has continued to be contentious, that he was invited to and attended her birthday party last year. I am always the one to throw her a party, mainly because he has a large family so they celebrate together and I host her friends.

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                • #23
                  Does battering with an ex involve baking a cake?

                  It would seem apparent to any reasonable reader of this discussion that your ex now withholding consent to this vacation will work against him in front of a judge.

                  Is he represented or is he self-rep as well? A strongly worded letter, cc'd to his lawyer, could go a long way -they would advise him to sign the consent letter. If he is self-rep, it might take a little more of a push - and since you are running out of time, I would suggest a strong email with copies of previous consent attached, followed by an Rletter asap.
                  Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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                  • #24
                    this again?

                    http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...acation-12349/

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                    • #25
                      That was not in reference to her own case, so your point is...what?

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                        That was not in reference to her own case
                        And you believe that

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                        • #27
                          DeadBeat: the post your referenced was indeed started by me. BUT, it was a question on behalf of my boyfriend. He was also dealing with a bad custody battle.

                          this post is about my ex. two totally different situations.

                          I see that there are STILL trolls on this site trying to make everyone as miserable as they are.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            So as it stands he did finally go and sign the papers before the deadline I gave him passed. He was not happy about it and my daughter still has some reservations about sharing her enthusiasm about the trip with him. But her and I are relieved now that we WILL be going!!
                            Thanks for the advice everyone. I will remember to take my court orders along just in case of problems at the border

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by DeadBeatDouchebagDad View Post
                              And you believe that
                              Yes, i do.

                              Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                              So as it stands he did finally go and sign the papers before the deadline I gave him passed. He was not happy about it and my daughter still has some reservations about sharing her enthusiasm about the trip with him. But her and I are relieved now that we WILL be going!!
                              Thanks for the advice everyone. I will remember to take my court orders along just in case of problems at the border
                              Great news! Have an awesome trip!

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                                DeadBeat: the post your referenced was indeed started by me. BUT, it was a question on behalf of my boyfriend. He was also dealing with a bad custody battle.

                                this post is about my ex. two totally different situations.
                                Birds of a feather .... I guess

                                Comment

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