For the sake of the matter (because gender bias seems to always be present. I am going to use parent 1 and parent 2.
Parent 1 and Parent 2 never really had a relationship more than making babies so to speak. They ended up with 3 children. 2 boys and a girl. Parent 1 and Parent 2 had not had any relationship other than parents of the children since late 2007 when the last pregnancy was already in full swing. In August 2013, Parent 2 got married and Parent 1 has not had a relationship.
Parent 1 obtained full custody in 2010 of all 3 children. This was on consent as Parent 2 did not want to drag the kids through court and the kids spent most of their time with Parent 1 anyways. Parent 2 pays Parent 1 $1236 a month in child support and Parent 1 is on Welfare and has been since the first was born (12 years now)
In February 2014, Parent 1 called Parent 2 and said the eldest (a boy who was 9 at the time) was having some issues and wanted to come and live with Parent 2. Parent 2 agreed and the eldest boy moved in however continued to go to Parent 1's house before and after school so that a change in schools wouldn't be necessary that year (he has ADHD so it would have been detrimental to him as he is already behind in school)
In May 2014, Parent 1 again called Parent 2 and said the middle (a boy who was turning 9 that month) wanted to move with Parent 2 as well. Parent 2 agreed and middle child was put on the same schedule. (Parent 2 had every other weekend with all the kids as well)
In June 2014, Parent 1 again called and said that they were going to loose their apartment and Parent 2 needed to take the last child (a girl who was 6 at the time). She officially moved in on July 1st.
Fast forward to September 1st and Parent 1 officially lost their apartment. Parent 2 decided that since Parent 1 was couch surfing, that it would be best, when Parent 1 wanted to see the kids, that Parent 1 do so at Parent 2's house. Parent 1 ended up staying on the couch off and on for a period of 5 months. (Parent 1 would stay anywhere from 1 night to 2 weeks at a time depending on their mood)
February 2015, Parent 1 stayed on Parent 2's couch for the last time and decided they wanted to stay at friends houses instead.
April 2015, Parent 1 and Parent 2 come to an agreement of joint custody with 50/50 access to start when Parent 1 gets an apartment again. It was signed and witnessed however when Parent 2 went to file the agreement, the court clerk refused to take it without a 35.1 affidavit for custody from both parents. Parent 2 asked Parent 1 repeatedly for it however it was never provided.
On June 23rd, Parent 2 had Parent 1 served with court papers for a motion to change based on the situation and the face that Parent 2 was still paying C/S and wanted it to stop since the children resided in their home.
On July 10th, Parent 1 took the children for their weekend and sent a text message on July 12th saying they have custody and they are keeping the kids until a judge orders otherwise and for 47 days refused to let Parent 2 see or spend time with the children.
Fast forward to April and Parent 2 had a temporary order in place for every weekend access and an OCL was concluding their investigation. Parent 1 and Parent 2 again agreed to joint custody while at a case conference and agreed to write up the agreement and went in front of the judge to let the judge know that there was an agreement. 2 days later, Parent 1 "didn't remember" parts of the agreement and changed what they were agreeing to which was less than 50/50 custody so Parent 2 disagreed.
OCL disclosure then happened and the OCL found:
Parent 1: has severe mental health issues, is transient, has had CAS involved for 11 years and the state of their home has been called into question, the children have been late more than 30 times to school this year, Has at time used alienating tactics, Parent 1 admits to involving the children in the adult issues. They however found that the relationship between Parent 1 and the children was good.
Parent 2: has charges from 23 years ago but wasn't convicted, has "no structure" based on what Parent 1 stated, and there is an element of unknown since the OCL did not see the children while living with Parent 2. They found that the relationship between Parent 2 and the children was good.
The boys now 11 and 12 stated they want to live with Parent 2 however the OCL believe BECAUSE they have ADHD, they should not be given any consideration for what they want.
OCL recommends: full custody to Parent 1, primary residency to Parent 1, Parent 2 to have access every 3 out of 4 weekends.
Now we wait until the July 13th settlement meeting to see if an agreement can still be made.
Now that you have read this, I am sure you can tell which gender each parent are
I am Parent 2.
Parent 1 has sent told me that she will give me any amount of time under the 40% threshold because she wants to keep her welfare and baby bonus however of course, I do not have proof of this.
I am not even sure how to proceed and to be honest my lawyer is definitely not on my side and basically told me to either settle with OCL recommendations or pay tens of thousands of dollars in trial that he isn't even going to entertain sending any offers to settle or trying to get back on the same page. Anyone ever been in a similar situation?
Parent 1 and Parent 2 never really had a relationship more than making babies so to speak. They ended up with 3 children. 2 boys and a girl. Parent 1 and Parent 2 had not had any relationship other than parents of the children since late 2007 when the last pregnancy was already in full swing. In August 2013, Parent 2 got married and Parent 1 has not had a relationship.
Parent 1 obtained full custody in 2010 of all 3 children. This was on consent as Parent 2 did not want to drag the kids through court and the kids spent most of their time with Parent 1 anyways. Parent 2 pays Parent 1 $1236 a month in child support and Parent 1 is on Welfare and has been since the first was born (12 years now)
In February 2014, Parent 1 called Parent 2 and said the eldest (a boy who was 9 at the time) was having some issues and wanted to come and live with Parent 2. Parent 2 agreed and the eldest boy moved in however continued to go to Parent 1's house before and after school so that a change in schools wouldn't be necessary that year (he has ADHD so it would have been detrimental to him as he is already behind in school)
In May 2014, Parent 1 again called Parent 2 and said the middle (a boy who was turning 9 that month) wanted to move with Parent 2 as well. Parent 2 agreed and middle child was put on the same schedule. (Parent 2 had every other weekend with all the kids as well)
In June 2014, Parent 1 again called and said that they were going to loose their apartment and Parent 2 needed to take the last child (a girl who was 6 at the time). She officially moved in on July 1st.
Fast forward to September 1st and Parent 1 officially lost their apartment. Parent 2 decided that since Parent 1 was couch surfing, that it would be best, when Parent 1 wanted to see the kids, that Parent 1 do so at Parent 2's house. Parent 1 ended up staying on the couch off and on for a period of 5 months. (Parent 1 would stay anywhere from 1 night to 2 weeks at a time depending on their mood)
February 2015, Parent 1 stayed on Parent 2's couch for the last time and decided they wanted to stay at friends houses instead.
April 2015, Parent 1 and Parent 2 come to an agreement of joint custody with 50/50 access to start when Parent 1 gets an apartment again. It was signed and witnessed however when Parent 2 went to file the agreement, the court clerk refused to take it without a 35.1 affidavit for custody from both parents. Parent 2 asked Parent 1 repeatedly for it however it was never provided.
On June 23rd, Parent 2 had Parent 1 served with court papers for a motion to change based on the situation and the face that Parent 2 was still paying C/S and wanted it to stop since the children resided in their home.
On July 10th, Parent 1 took the children for their weekend and sent a text message on July 12th saying they have custody and they are keeping the kids until a judge orders otherwise and for 47 days refused to let Parent 2 see or spend time with the children.
Fast forward to April and Parent 2 had a temporary order in place for every weekend access and an OCL was concluding their investigation. Parent 1 and Parent 2 again agreed to joint custody while at a case conference and agreed to write up the agreement and went in front of the judge to let the judge know that there was an agreement. 2 days later, Parent 1 "didn't remember" parts of the agreement and changed what they were agreeing to which was less than 50/50 custody so Parent 2 disagreed.
OCL disclosure then happened and the OCL found:
Parent 1: has severe mental health issues, is transient, has had CAS involved for 11 years and the state of their home has been called into question, the children have been late more than 30 times to school this year, Has at time used alienating tactics, Parent 1 admits to involving the children in the adult issues. They however found that the relationship between Parent 1 and the children was good.
Parent 2: has charges from 23 years ago but wasn't convicted, has "no structure" based on what Parent 1 stated, and there is an element of unknown since the OCL did not see the children while living with Parent 2. They found that the relationship between Parent 2 and the children was good.
The boys now 11 and 12 stated they want to live with Parent 2 however the OCL believe BECAUSE they have ADHD, they should not be given any consideration for what they want.
OCL recommends: full custody to Parent 1, primary residency to Parent 1, Parent 2 to have access every 3 out of 4 weekends.
Now we wait until the July 13th settlement meeting to see if an agreement can still be made.
Now that you have read this, I am sure you can tell which gender each parent are
![Frown](https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/core/images/smilies/frown.png)
Parent 1 has sent told me that she will give me any amount of time under the 40% threshold because she wants to keep her welfare and baby bonus however of course, I do not have proof of this.
I am not even sure how to proceed and to be honest my lawyer is definitely not on my side and basically told me to either settle with OCL recommendations or pay tens of thousands of dollars in trial that he isn't even going to entertain sending any offers to settle or trying to get back on the same page. Anyone ever been in a similar situation?
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