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    Here's the situation pertaining to my kids:

    2 young children 3 and 5

    Seperated 4 months, lived in same house until Mar, STBX had a breakdown, attempted to have me removed from home but backfired and because of her mental state was taken to hospital, assesed and held for 30 days, CAS became involved because of the children. I cooperated fully during this time with CAS but felt as time went by that I had been painted as the bad guy responsible for everything and that sympathies were for my STBX but because I am a good father the extent she gets is sympathies.

    I had the ability to take 1 month off of work and care for the children while she was in hospital. She has been on a leave of absence (child rearing) for the last 3 years from work.

    I have been and am a very active father, very involved with the kids juggling long work hours and time with my children. I cook, clean, bathe, play do all of the things an involved parent would do.

    We have nothing formal in place in regards to custody of the kids. Currently I have the kids Sun noon until tues morning and Thurs evening until Sat noon, she gets Tues/Wed and Sat AS WELL she cares for the children during the day on my days as she refuses to go back to work. I am happy with the amount of time I am getting with my kids. She had threatened previously to go after the 1 night a week and every other weekend thing which she knows would hurt me, my kids are my world. I told her I would fight that without a doubt. We have been on the above schedule since the beginning of April and has been working well. Eventually I think I'd like to go 1 week on/off so there is less movement for the kids but that will have to be decided down the road.

    I believe unfortunately that the entire process is going to be difficult and will have to fight for everything. I believe she is going to paint me as an abuser, not physical although I am starting to think nothing would surprise me at this point because of how difficult to deal with she has become. I am concerned about being shafted even though I am good father, I guess I have fears of being shafted because of the stereotypes, or are they??? that fathers get screwed.

    Is there anything I should be doing other than what I am to make sure I get my share of the children? Will the courts look favorably if we can't agree that I am an active father? Will her lockup in the mental facility help me?

  • #2
    Should ne noted that I want joint custody of the children. I want to be involved with decision making in their lives not just access to visit...

    Comment


    • #3
      Read the List. Someone with better skill than I will likely come along and link to it for you, but a forum search should also turn it up.

      Basically, all communication with her should be in email, so you have a written record, and all physical interaction should be digitally recorded. Get and wear a digital recorder and have it going in your pocket at all times. You don't need to tell her about it.

      The single most easy and evil tactic for a woman to get her way is to falsely accuse the man of domestic assault. Then the police arrest you, you aren't allowed back to the house or near the kids, the woman builds up status quo as primary parent, and, should you get out of the criminal charge, you will be stuck with every other weekend. A recording that an assault didn't happen will stop that dead in its tracks.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Rioe View Post
        Read the List. Someone with better skill than I will likely come along and link to it for you, but a forum search should also turn it up.

        Basically, all communication with her should be in email, so you have a written record, and all physical interaction should be digitally recorded. Get and wear a digital recorder and have it going in your pocket at all times. You don't need to tell her about it.

        The single most easy and evil tactic for a woman to get her way is to falsely accuse the man of domestic assault. Then the police arrest you, you aren't allowed back to the house or near the kids, the woman builds up status quo as primary parent, and, should you get out of the criminal charge, you will be stuck with every other weekend. A recording that an assault didn't happen will stop that dead in its tracks.
        Yes I unfortunately or fortunately am coming to the conclusion that I can't just sit back and hope everything works out...How do you do this with the recorder, just use a simple audio recorder in your pocket when she is around? I tried this with my blackberry voice notes but it doesn't pick up, how can audio prove something didn't happen?

        Comment


        • #5
          Here it is, "The List" from dadsdivorce.com. It's brutal but it's a good preparation for the mentality you'll need to adopt.

          Divorce Forum and Child Custody Forum • View topic - THE LIST (Print It)

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by FightingForFamily View Post
            Here it is, "The List" from dadsdivorce.com. It's brutal but it's a good preparation for the mentality you'll need to adopt.

            Divorce Forum and Child Custody Forum • View topic - THE LIST (Print It)
            Thanks you very much!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by onlybeginning View Post
              Here's the situation pertaining to my kids:

              2 young children 3 and 5

              Seperated 4 months, lived in same house until Mar, STBX had a breakdown, attempted to have me removed from home but backfired and because of her mental state was taken to hospital, assesed and held for 30 days, CAS became involved because of the children. I cooperated fully during this time with CAS but felt as time went by that I had been painted as the bad guy responsible for everything and that sympathies were for my STBX but because I am a good father the extent she gets is sympathies.

              I had the ability to take 1 month off of work and care for the children while she was in hospital. She has been on a leave of absence (child rearing) for the last 3 years from work.

              I have been and am a very active father, very involved with the kids juggling long work hours and time with my children. I cook, clean, bathe, play do all of the things an involved parent would do.

              We have nothing formal in place in regards to custody of the kids. Currently I have the kids Sun noon until tues morning and Thurs evening until Sat noon, she gets Tues/Wed and Sat AS WELL she cares for the children during the day on my days as she refuses to go back to work. I am happy with the amount of time I am getting with my kids. She had threatened previously to go after the 1 night a week and every other weekend thing which she knows would hurt me, my kids are my world. I told her I would fight that without a doubt. We have been on the above schedule since the beginning of April and has been working well. Eventually I think I'd like to go 1 week on/off so there is less movement for the kids but that will have to be decided down the road.

              I believe unfortunately that the entire process is going to be difficult and will have to fight for everything. I believe she is going to paint me as an abuser, not physical although I am starting to think nothing would surprise me at this point because of how difficult to deal with she has become. I am concerned about being shafted even though I am good father, I guess I have fears of being shafted because of the stereotypes, or are they??? that fathers get screwed.

              Is there anything I should be doing other than what I am to make sure I get my share of the children? Will the courts look favorably if we can't agree that I am an active father? Will her lockup in the mental facility help me?
              Hi
              My name is Joseph Goldberg and I think I can help you
              with the problem you are having. It sounds to me like you
              may have problems with parental alienation. Are you at
              all familar with this term ? I am an expert in this field and
              I work helping parents and their lawyers on these types
              of cases.
              Please visit my website at - Goldberg & Associates
              If you would like to contact me directly please write to me
              at jgoldberg@cspas.org ( I am also the Founder of the
              Canadian Sympsoium for Parental Alienation Syndrome.)
              I do charge a fee for a consultation. Perhaps if you would
              like to go into more details with me I can tell you how I'd
              be able to best help you.

              Comment

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