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  • #16
    You have given sound and great advice but there are a lot of lawyers that know how to play the system. Mediation is often “sold” to the parties by being told you can “try” mediation for $10,000 or you can burn $100,000 at trial. Any process in family law will cost you an absorbent amount of money so you pick your poison and we are stuck making a lose-lose choice. I agreed mediation was worth a try in my situation but it didn’t work because the lawyer on the other side was a crook. I was open to mediating and so was my ex-spouse and we had one of the best and well-known mediators. Unfortunately, $10,000 went down the drain. What went wrong you might say? The lawyer on the other side was unethical. He verbally agreed to one thing during the mediation and when he sent the written agreement for my review it was completely different which meant he had zero intention of mediating and only did it to line his pocket some more. All this to say that the parties may be willing but often throw in a crooked lawyer and it’s going nowhere. The family law system is broken on many, many levels including lawyers who are only in it to drain equity from the parties. Where there are children involved the situation is even more tragic. The system needs an overhaul where heartless and incompetent lawyers are weeded out but this will never happen.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Mississauga Lawyers View Post
      This must be very frustrating and upsetting.

      The COVID 19 has shut down the court, and they will be extremely occupied and probably unavailable to many people, for a considerable period of time.

      There is an option. Mediation involved a discussion towards resolution, in the best person to deal with financial issues is a lawyer/mediator. A lawyer/mediator should understand all of the financial concerns, as well as a personal wishes and concerns.

      Mediation can be attended with both sides bringing lawyers, one side bringing a lawyer, or neither side bringing a lawyer. Traditionally they were with personal attendance is, but now many lawyer/mediators are able to comply with all the requirements of mediation, and move forward, by Zoom. This can result in considerable cost savings, and can work through a resolution in perhaps two or three sessions. These sessions might be one week apart. By the end of the time, for a few thousand dollars, the lawyer/mediator may be putting together a proposed agreement, if both sides of, that far forward.

      Although you say that you do not find it fair which he is requesting, that cannot be commented on without knowing all of the facts. A person does not have to be willing to be extremely giving, what they do need to have these criteria if the mediation is going to work: consideration; compassion and compromise.

      Consideration is to consider what a court might do, consider all of the options, consider what would be the cost of the alternative of not reaching an agreement.

      Compassion is to at least be receptive to the emotions of the other, especially when children are involved.

      Compromise means of a recognition, that you cannot get everything you want. However, if your prior rise, and the other side does the same, then usually resolutions can be made.

      It is surprising to people who do mediation, that in cases where people think the other will never make a compromise or never agree to this approach, it works out just fine. It is quite often worth a try. Especially since right now, with the court.” There really is no alternatives. Also, the court system is required to encourage people to try other systems, and this is a system that works probably 90% of the time.

      A) this case was settled as outlined by this poster in another thread.

      B) if you are posting in an attempt to market your services (you shared links in another thread) that is not allowed.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Mississauga Lawyers View Post
        Compromise means of a recognition, that you cannot get everything you want. However, if your prior rise, and the other side does the same, then usually resolutions can be made.
        This sounds like a lawyer on acid.


        Also, the court system is required to encourage people to try other systems, and this is a system that works probably 90% of the time.
        Do you have a source for that stat you just made up?

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