Hey everyone,
Hope you’re all keeping safe.
Looking for some opinions and expertise, as always.
Ex and I have an 11 year old. Parenting time is roughly 40/60 (me 40, ex 60). We have nothing in writing or through the courts, even though we have been separated for several years - generally just go with the flow - but the gist of it is I spend most of non-school time with child, and ex spends most school time with him.
However, from March Break (beginning of COVID) to the beginning of May, we had him week on, week off. We’re both working: Ex went back to work first week of May, and I’m essential, so have been working this whole time. Since ex has gone back to work, child has seen her about 7 days of the month due to her having long, inconsistent hours, with no childcare options. This seems to be the case for the foreseeable future. We also live about an hour apart so exchanges can be tricky when we’re both working. There’s no issue for childcare at my place, because my brother and partner are home, hence the drastic change in parenting time.
Now, my child said to me the other day that he’s sad because mom told him that daycares will be opening soon, (Not sure if that’s actually true, but that’s neither here nor there) so he will be going back to daycare. She works seasonally so she re-enrols him every spring, and takes him out in the late fall. Child claims he doesn’t want to go because he’s 11 and most kids are younger + his friends are no longer enrolled. I don’t want him to go because I think it’s an unnecessary safety risk and a waste of money.
Since this all started, I’ve told her that we can work around her schedule, and she can see him whenever she wants when she’s off, but she doesn’t feel it’s worth it if it’s just for a day.
When/if the conversation comes up that she wants to enrol him in daycare, do I have a leg to stand on to say no? Any ideas of what my options are? Does an 11 year olds opinion re: not wanting to go to daycare carry any weight?
Thanks.
Hope you’re all keeping safe.
Looking for some opinions and expertise, as always.
Ex and I have an 11 year old. Parenting time is roughly 40/60 (me 40, ex 60). We have nothing in writing or through the courts, even though we have been separated for several years - generally just go with the flow - but the gist of it is I spend most of non-school time with child, and ex spends most school time with him.
However, from March Break (beginning of COVID) to the beginning of May, we had him week on, week off. We’re both working: Ex went back to work first week of May, and I’m essential, so have been working this whole time. Since ex has gone back to work, child has seen her about 7 days of the month due to her having long, inconsistent hours, with no childcare options. This seems to be the case for the foreseeable future. We also live about an hour apart so exchanges can be tricky when we’re both working. There’s no issue for childcare at my place, because my brother and partner are home, hence the drastic change in parenting time.
Now, my child said to me the other day that he’s sad because mom told him that daycares will be opening soon, (Not sure if that’s actually true, but that’s neither here nor there) so he will be going back to daycare. She works seasonally so she re-enrols him every spring, and takes him out in the late fall. Child claims he doesn’t want to go because he’s 11 and most kids are younger + his friends are no longer enrolled. I don’t want him to go because I think it’s an unnecessary safety risk and a waste of money.
Since this all started, I’ve told her that we can work around her schedule, and she can see him whenever she wants when she’s off, but she doesn’t feel it’s worth it if it’s just for a day.
When/if the conversation comes up that she wants to enrol him in daycare, do I have a leg to stand on to say no? Any ideas of what my options are? Does an 11 year olds opinion re: not wanting to go to daycare carry any weight?
Thanks.
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