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  • #46
    To my surprise the SC judge, on her own, decided that ex should have to notify me when she is leaving for QC and provide me with her itinerary. This was not requested by me nor in my materials at all. I was totally blown away after being told on this thread by a few posters that it was aggressive and controlling.

    Now I suppose its time to get that convo going with my ex as well.

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    • #47
      Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
      To my surprise the SC judge, on her own, decided that ex should have to notify me when she is leaving for QC and provide me with her itinerary. This was not requested by me nor in my materials at all. I was totally blown away after being told on this thread by a few posters that it was aggressive and controlling.

      Now I suppose its time to get that convo going with my ex as well.
      That is surprising and good news in that the judge likely sees the ex as playing games vs the actual need to advise of simple travel.

      Expect a message of "I am going to my parents on Xday, and coming home on Yday. If you need to contact me or D, call my cell" to be sufficient notice and information. I doubt the judge meant that the ex was required to provide you with a detailed itinerary of people who will be there, which room D will sleep in, the ex's parents phone number etc. She likely is just required to provide 1 contact number and dates she departs and comes back. To be honest, that is what most reasonably minded people would do anyway.....

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      • #48
        Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
        That is surprising and good news in that the judge likely sees the ex as playing games vs the actual need to advise of simple travel.

        Expect a message of "I am going to my parents on Xday, and coming home on Yday. If you need to contact me or D, call my cell" to be sufficient notice and information. I doubt the judge meant that the ex was required to provide you with a detailed itinerary of people who will be there, which room D will sleep in, the ex's parents phone number etc. She likely is just required to provide 1 contact number and dates she departs and comes back. To be honest, that is what most reasonably minded people would do anyway.....
        Agreed .. I would never ask for anything with that much detail. As long as I'm cognizant when D4 is leaving the province, where she'll be and a contact method Im fine. I certainly won't have an issue with providing the same info to her if D4 leaves the province on my watch ...which doesn't happen often at all.
        I agree HD, the judge saw a game-player and her endorsements reflected as such.

        Comment


        • #49
          Day to day move ents are going to be hard to control or enforce. Lots of SA have unenforceable clauses in them.

          My daughters has a couple in them and her agreement is only 2 pages long.

          Interesting one clause, which ex wrote himself, states that child will reside with Mother. Does not state where Mother will reside. So that is a clause you should definetly avoid. You need to specifiy km distance. Mif you just say Ontario or Ottawa area your ex could move to the PQ border.

          How many appointments does your d4 have? My grandson is 4 and he has been to the doctor for a checkup each year. In the past 12 months He has had a ear infection 2 times and ended up in ER in the middle in the middle of the night both times, plus he recently had a bout of croup and required a quick visit to ER. Not a lot of medical issues are common for most children. Dad was text as she went off to the ER. As it was late at night there was no response and no questions afterwards. These visits are quite common with most kids. I think if the child has a major medical issue the. Both parents need to be involved but honestly these everyday mishaps and common illness are just that common and run ofmthe mill. If I was to choose my battles it would be over school and a defined location radius.

          Pick your battles.

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          • #50
            Clauses similar to what are in our order:

            "...in the event one parent travels with the child outside (local city/greater municipality) that parent shall provide to the other particulars of such travel."

            ( a wider "travel" one, ex. going across the country, international, etc.)
            "...In the event one parent travels with the child outside of Ontario the vacationing parent shall provide to the other an itinerary and details as to how to contact the child during the trip and the non-vacationing parent shall provide a statutory declaration/permission letter consenting to such travel, such consent not to be unreasonably witheld."


            "Both parents shall have the right to make inquiries and to be given information as to the health, education, and welfare of the child from the child's teachers, school officials, doctors, dentists, health care providers, coaches, trainers, camp counsellors and others involved with the child. Any information received by either parent from the child's school or from any third party involved with the child, shall be provided to the other parent."

            How enforcable are they? It depends. The "travel" one, has really only applied to me, as I'm the only one who follows this. Mom doesn't travel, and when she has, she has "snuck away" (within the province), without following the order anyway. But if an issue did come up, it's good to have something in the order, to "fall back onto" I think.

            I've used the "medical info" clause, a few times before, because Mom has often instructed dentist and doctor (hers), to not share info with me. I ran into a lot of interferrence from Mom, about this, so I literally had to present the court order to them, and show them the order states I should be getting that info as well. It's helped - somewhat. If I didn't have that specified in order, I would be screwed. Child's school also has a copy of our order, that I provided them - this helped immensely, when child started school, as it's literally spelled out for them, that I have rights to child's info. (Mom instructed them too, that I was not allowed to have info).

            So, don't think of it as just something to only hold your "ex" accountable to, but something, to aid you, in dealing with third-parties, who usually have no knowledge or info, of the parenting situation, and if they do, it's often get a one-sided story, from the trouble-making parent.

            Comment

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