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  • #31
    You have zero control over whatever crazy things she is into.
    You have zero influence on her as a person or as a parent.
    Frankly you are taking her bait, she is sucking you into her crazy. It will make YOU crazy.

    What part has your son played in this?

    The court ordered her custody and set limited access right?

    Why was that exactly? See my last unanswered questions.

    Comment


    • #32
      I don’t know that three weekends a month and half the holidays is “limited” is it?

      Comment


      • #33
        That depends on the why.
        If you are seeking complete advice from forum members you should provide full information. You originally asked about statistics and that has become more. Up to you to answer or not.

        Comment


        • #34
          I can hear the doubt in your replies but it is exactly like I said. Giving her custody was and is a travesty. Like I said, the judge is seized of this now and we hope through the continuity he will see the con she has been perpetrating. We will go as far as Questioning and see what happens. Her finances should be very interesting.
          She did not agree to a new assessment because she wanted to, it was going to happen with or without her approval- probably on the basis of the children having missed even more school after the judgement than before; the older child missed 43 mostly unexplained school days between October and June of that school year- though she did try to get the assessment done by the same old tired clinician from the OCL and this is still an open question. It may have been a tactical move to agree so the justice gives her the choice of assessor as a matter of balance. I see absolutely no point in having the same clinician on this so if that were the case, we’d probably stop right there but Questioning has to come first and assuming our son’s lawyer does a reasonable job it is going to be very revealing.

          Comment


          • #35
            A trial judge got hoodwinked?
            Sole custody is not the norm any more.
            Doubt is not what I would call my professional non judgemental skepticism.
            What were the reasons for the custody ruling?
            Is the case published?
            Now I am curious.
            If your trial lawyer was not aggressive in obtaining disclosure why will that change with a motion after a trial and ruling?
            My questions are still hanging.
            I would like to assist because there are little kids involved
            Can’t help much without the facts on the table.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              The mother was awarded custody. Is this a final order or temporary? If it is final then what happens on her time is her business. If it is temporary then you just need a calendar sheet or table in word with the dates of absences and time with each parent. Know though that she could argue this detail.

              I could be wrong but as far as I know school absences are not enough for a change in custody. He has to prove a material change that requires a change in custody. That is a big mountain to climb.
              This is succinct and probably correct. The reason to rule at trial just 6 months ago to sole custody from joint and from 50/50 access to 3 weekends a month and half holidays is unexplained. Something ain't right.

              Comment


              • #37
                The question I know is the elephant in the room, is was our son violent, so I will answer it and then I have to stop. She said and she told the OPP family police officer he was not physically violent but that she needed her space, then, later, that he made her feel inadequate. She was violent though and our son was too embarrassed to talk about it and feared if he called the police...something she threatened him with all the time according to him; HE might be made to leave or even get arrested himself. We witnessed one of these events one night when she was kicking and screaming punching and kicking until he grabbed her arms and pinned her down. He would sometimes show up with cuts and bruises. When she is coming down and gets crazy, she is terrifying.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Abba435 View Post
                  This is succinct and probably correct. The reason to rule at trial just 6 months ago to sole custody from joint and from 50/50 access to 3 weekends a month and half holidays is unexplained. Something ain't right.

                  No, you misunderstand I think. The 50/50 was a week-on, week-off, temporary order. The mat home is 40 minutes from Ottawa and mom moved to Ottawa early on, so a residence had to be established, it was just the wrong one from our perspective. The children lived their entire existence 40 minutes from Ottawa until this. Their extended family, school friends etc are all 40 minutes from Ottawa which is especially cruel since the OCL found that both homes were of equal merit.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    The sole custody order was only to establish a residence?
                    That is access not custody
                    Custody is decision making
                    A principal residence is for notification and does not relate to custody
                    The term primary caregiver does not exist in statute or family law rules and is a misnomer.

                    Did your son consent to sole custody or was this by court order?

                    If by court order what were the reasons written in the ruling?

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      One last comment.

                      The OCL could have put a stop to this insanity immediately when mom was caught lying about her dangerous driving habits and the OCL had material proof in her possession and when mom confessed to her meth use after years of lying about it in affidavits, when we found a potential witness. Lying should carry a penalty.
                      You get caught lying, you loose.

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                      • #41
                        Why did the judge award her sole custody?
                        The written reasons in the judgement were ??

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          I will re-read it but frankly, it doesn’t matter. Every word I have said is true.
                          The court was manipulated and misled, if not biased. The whole affair a preposterous mess. The courts not truly equipped to decide the future of children in the first place and as long as people are allowed to get away with lying without serious consequences and people know know that - and they DO know that - the courts are going to fail to serve many children. We will go at least to the lengths outlined in previous posts to try to make it right. I think we have a good chance but I have been wrong before. We will be able to look the children in the eye and say we did everything we could to help them.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Actually it really does matter.
                            Judges do not award sole custody on a whim.
                            If you are alleging court bias what evidence to you have?
                            Your lawyer must have really blown it or maybe the judge saw through to the truth. They are called Justices for a reason.
                            There is way more to this than you are willing to disclose.

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                            • #44
                              What role did your son’s violence play in it? Did your son dispute the OCL report? Has he requested drug and alcohol screening for his ex?

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                                What role did your son’s violence play in it? Did your son dispute the OCL report? Has he requested drug and alcohol screening for his ex?
                                There are a few elephants laying low

                                Comment

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