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  • #31
    Originally posted by denbigh View Post
    do you want to get the voices of the children report to show dad to get him to back off, or are you waiting to see if dad will bring the matter to court, and then have the report for that process? I thought they were court ordered, but I could be wrong about that.
    Essentially, what we're attempting to do is stop Dad from bullying his son to meet his own end goals. Picture this: My ex is 6'3" about 230 pounds. My son is 5'2" and weighs about 120 pds. Dad has a tendency to go red in the face, when he gets angry, which only makes him more intimidating. Any decision that I make Dad doesn't like, he's screaming full throated at his son. If you were this 11 year old, would you want to willingly call him anytime you thought Dad maybe angry?

    So my son avoids calling his father, which results in Dad thinking I've harmed my son, and he's trying to protect me by not calling. Not the case, as multiple investigations by CAS can attest to.

    We want the VoC to have my son state what his expectations are with regards to calling and communication. I thought the language in the order gave my son the reprieve, but not the case.

    So yes, we're hoping this will show how my son feels about Dad's edict of communication, and hope he can transition to managing his expectations without any future confrontations. Because if he keeps this up, there'll be a whole different set of issues we'll have to deal with.

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    • #32
      Found a very interesting article when googling Voice of the Child reports. It's long but well worth the read. Great analysis of Parental Alienation theory with plenty of case law sited for review.

      http://www.fredacentre.com/wp-conten...da-Neilson.pdf

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by momof2teenboys View Post
        Found a very interesting article when googling Voice of the Child reports. It's long but well worth the read. Great analysis of Parental Alienation theory with plenty of case law sited for review.

        http://www.fredacentre.com/wp-conten...da-Neilson.pdf
        Thank you. Long read, but very informative.

        Comment


        • #34
          "Voice of the Child" for 11-year-old who doesn't want to phone his father???

          Sure... you go to court and let the court instruct you how to parent your child. You may not like what the judge orders in the end though.

          I truly hope that you are personally paying for this nonsense as opposed to taxpayers picking up the tab?

          Who is the "we" that you are referring to?
          Last edited by arabian; 03-24-2018, 08:11 PM.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by arabian View Post
            "Voice of the Child" for 11-year-old who doesn't want to phone his father???

            Sure... you go to court and let the court instruct you how to parent your child. You may not like what the judge orders in the end though.

            I truly hope that you are personally paying for this nonsense as opposed to taxpayers picking up the tab?

            Who is the "we" that you are referring to?
            Not worth responding to. Please seek professional help for your anger issues, and stop taking it out on moms on this forum for whatever you went through personally.

            Comment


            • #36
              I am, in fact, a mother.

              You have a final order.

              Ask your lawyer about "res judicata" and save yourself some money (if you are paying for this nonsense).

              If you can't/won't adhere to the final order then your ex would have a valid reason for seeking custody.

              I'm not "taking it out on moms on this forum..." - you are on a public forum and asked for opinions. YOU shouldn't take this personally.

              Your son has the unenviable position of having two parents who can't get along, even after separation. Dragging an 11-year-old into your issues with your ex is simply wrong IMO.

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              • #37
                I can see why a daily call is a bit much, even when children get along with their parents. I dont talk to my kids every single day when at other parents house, or if visiting grandma. Kids dont really like to talk on the phone that much, even with their friends, they text instead. I also dont text kids every day either. I am also a bit confused about why you need to get a report when you have an order already. Is the ex taking you back to a trial or case conference because son isnt calling every day? Or are you premptively trying to get this report and then you are taking it to court? I am not sure I understand the legal ramifications of your child not calling everyday.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by denbigh View Post
                  I can see why a daily call is a bit much, even when children get along with their parents. I dont talk to my kids every single day when at other parents house, or if visiting grandma. Kids dont really like to talk on the phone that much, even with their friends, they text instead. I also dont text kids every day either. I am also a bit confused about why you need to get a report when you have an order already. Is the ex taking you back to a trial or case conference because son isnt calling every day? Or are you premptively trying to get this report and then you are taking it to court? I am not sure I understand the legal ramifications of your child not calling everyday.
                  Thanks for asking as opposed to attacking or with the judgemental attitude. We do have a FINAL order, and I posted the exact language of it in this thread above. We arrived at it AFTER OCL had completed its review and provided recommendation.

                  The issue is DAD cant accept that the COURTS decided he can't have custody (sole or joint) for some very good reasons. He will exploit any issue to try to open the matter of custody by making any and all allegations against me. At the moment, it's the communication bit.

                  The only thing we're headed to trial is financial matters, as after 11 years, he has yet to provide proper financial disclosure, and is in contempt of court on various orders to produce said financials. His plea is about to struck to allow me to move forward to figuring out an appropriate child support. It was previously imputed at a presumed incomen amount till he produced proper details.

                  In the meantime, my son has to deal with his Dad dragging him into making videos alleging abuse, dragging him to Police station to make complaints, calling CAS to allege abuse.

                  This is as instructed by my LAWYER. I am simply trying to find out if anyone has gone through it, and what the experience was like.

                  And if you have nothing productive to add, please save your judgement, attitude and comments.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by arabian View Post
                    I am, in fact, a mother.

                    You have a final order.

                    Ask your lawyer about "res judicata" and save yourself some money (if you are paying for this nonsense).

                    If you can't/won't adhere to the final order then your ex would have a valid reason for seeking custody.

                    I'm not "taking it out on moms on this forum..." - you are on a public forum and asked for opinions. YOU shouldn't take this personally.

                    Your son has the unenviable position of having two parents who can't get along, even after separation. Dragging an 11-year-old into your issues with your ex is simply wrong IMO.
                    Maybe you oughta read my original post. I am not asking for OPTIONS. I am asking for those who have gone through this to share their EXPERIENCE.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      In the meantime, my son has to deal with his Dad dragging him into making videos alleging abuse, dragging him to Police station to make complaints, calling CAS to allege abuse.
                      What a nightmare!

                      I hope the judgement attitude part wasnt aimed at me, I dont think it was judgemental, I truely dont know what the legal ramifications are of the child not calling.

                      I dont have a situation as severe as ex making child make videos and repeated calls to CAS alledging abuse, but I do have a teen who would rather not engage with ex. Phone calls havent been a problem as ex tends to not phone, but texts were a problem for awhile and ex took teens phone as child would not respond to each and every text. Problem not an issue now as no phone, but child wants a new phone, problem likely to resurface if gets one.

                      So your ex would have to go to court again to say that child was not contacting him or that you were preventing child from contacting ex, and then a voices report could be ordered?
                      If you had one done without a court proceeding being involved, would the ex respect what it says anyways?

                      What a tough situation for your child.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        I dont think ive seen anone on here talk about their own expereince with voices reports, only the ontario reports which I think are different.

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                        • #42
                          http://www.rivervalleywellnesscentre...-child-report/

                          Im not sure if this is the right province fo r you, but it gives more info on the process in NB

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                          • #43
                            Originally posted by denbigh View Post
                            http://www.rivervalleywellnesscentre...-child-report/

                            Im not sure if this is the right province fo r you, but it gives more info on the process in NB
                            Thank you very much.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by denbigh View Post
                              What a nightmare!

                              I hope the judgement attitude part wasnt aimed at me, I dont think it was judgemental, I truely dont know what the legal ramifications are of the child not calling.
                              Sorry, it was not meant for you personally. I didn't mean to imply that at all.


                              Originally posted by denbigh View Post
                              So your ex would have to go to court again to say that child was not contacting him or that you were preventing child from contacting ex, and then a voices report could be ordered?
                              If you had one done without a court proceeding being involved, would the ex respect what it says anyways?

                              What a tough situation for your child.
                              No, he doesn't respect what it says, and that is the nightmare for an 11 year old child.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Another option would be to get a position letter from CAS. I'm not that far along in the Court system, but that what I have been doing to prepare for my next Motion.

                                I dont know which more hold more weight a letter from CAS or a report from Voice of the Children or maybe both.

                                Comment

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