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  • #46
    I walked in the room, and they were on her blackberry sent in an email. and she admitted it to me.

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    • #47
      You can't take parts of what I am saying and just discuss that

      (
      NAKED PICS
      FROM DAUGHER'S BED when she is next to you and you just put her to sleep
      TO YOUR cousin who is married but you think he is your soulmate
      WHO YOU HAVE NEVER MET
      and he lives in another country
      )

      NOBODY thinks that's normal however:
      --> Sending naked pics by itself - is ok
      --> Loving your married cousin - is somewhat ok
      --> Sending the pics from your kid's bedroom - is ok

      BUT all of them together?

      PLEASE....

      Was it a mistake in her eyes, maybe.... I don't care but don't tell me its a sound decision and yes maybe it was the result of a bad marriage - but it is STILL a bad decision.

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      • #48
        Oh so the photos were sent PRIOR to your separation? If not, how long ago did this happen?

        I'm just trying to figure out the relevance to this thread.

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        • #49
          Originally posted by Links17 View Post
          You can't take parts of what I am saying and just discuss that
          Why not? You're focusing on one book he listed on his FB profile that you creeped to find that out and discounting everything else...?

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          • #50
            Was it a mistake in her eyes, maybe.... I don't care but don't tell me its a sound decision and yes maybe it was the result of a bad marriage - but it is STILL a bad decision.
            More fallacious arguing. No one said is was a sound decision but you keep harping on it and trying to link it to your current attempt to justify cyberstalking your ex-wife's new partner. It happened in the past, you're divorced...move on.

            Its also one-sided. Given how you argue on this forum...I'm just throwing it out there that maybe during marriage you weren't perfect either and may have shown bad judgement in things you did in the past during your marriage.

            You're fixated on the past, and more disturbingly, fixated on your ex and her new life.

            Comment


            • #51
              Oh so the photos were sent PRIOR to your separation? If not, how long ago did this happen?
              I'm just trying to figure out the relevance to this thread.
              The relevance was women who are vulnerable will part their children at risk to please the other.

              Why not? You're focusing on one book he listed on his FB profile that you creeped to find that out and discounting everything else...?
              Because the other books are not indicative of anything, they are not know primarily to be linked to anything other than religion for example. Regardless, if I did something wrong doesn't validate what has been done otherwise.

              More fallacious arguing. No one said is was a sound decision but you keep harping on it and trying to link it to your current attempt to justify cyberstalking your ex-wife's new partner. It happened in the past, you're divorced...move on.

              Its also one-sided. Given how you argue on this forum...I'm just throwing it out there that maybe during marriage you weren't perfect either and may have shown bad judgement in things you did in the past during your marriage.

              You're fixated on the past, and more disturbingly, fixated on your ex and her new life.
              See my response to arabian. Of course I am not perfect (not even close) but I don't think I did anything close to that. I really could careless about my ex as long as my kids are happy, safe, I keep my relationship strong with them and spousal support ends in 20 months, I'm pretty happy.

              Last post of the day

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              • #52
                Links it must be disheartening to worry about your children being put at risk by their own mother.

                Some people have non-traditional sexual preferences and do all sorts of things that are abhorrent to us.

                Freud wrote about the "madonna whore complex" which touches on your situation perhaps?

                Something else to think about is that sometimes our expectations of other people are too high as people are only human. If we set our expectations too high then we will always be disappointed.

                Cut your ex some slack and give her privacy and autonomy to pursue her life without constant criticism and ridicule. Like it or not she is the mother of your child(ren) and you have know that she will care for them in the same manner that she did when she was married to you.

                Comment


                • #53
                  Links it must be disheartening to worry about your children being put at risk by their own mother.
                  But that's the material point. There's zero evidence, despite the OP's continued intrusion into his ex's new life, to suggest there's any risky behavior by this mother.

                  As far as sending nude pics...whatever...its her body and her life. If she did it while she was married, it certainly doesn't win her the award for wife of the year but that's why they're divorced. It doesn't indicate anything about her parenting ability.

                  The only questionable behavior, in my opinion, is exhibited by Links who can't seem to disengage from his ex and her new potential romantic interests.

                  To me, Links exhibited a prime example of when someone crosses the line from having a healthy concern for their children to being pathetically obsessed with an ex-partner and blaming it on parental concern.

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                    To me, Links exhibited a prime example of when someone crosses the line from having a healthy concern for their children to being pathetically obsessed with an ex-partner and blaming it on parental concern.
                    ... and is often a textbook example of a high conflict person involved in a legal dispute...

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                      You're clearly bias against me.



                      I've read the book - so no.

                      But if you asked me my favourite book and I said "lolita" to you - you would think that's normal?
                      If you've read the book then you are aware that Lolita is a classic - a RUSSIAN classic. Written in English by a Russian author.

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                      • #56
                        OMFG, just amazed at how Dadthatshadenough's thread got hijacked .... who gives a crap about what someone's favorite books are? This is nuts.. seriously.. obsessive, controlling, stalkerish.... *shivers*

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Sorry, I care if somebody's favorite book is about a pedophile and they are going to live in my children - You might not and that's ok.

                          I understand everyone's concern that this potentially controlling/stalkerish behaviour etc... and I recognize that and in normal circumstances I AGREE but I'd prefer to err on the side of caution for the safety of my kids (if anything comes of this).

                          "Statistics Canada has found that one in four girls and one in eight boys have been sexually abused by the time they are eighteen"

                          hopefully its nothing.

                          Anyways, I'm just here to get people's feedback, I've gotten it - thanks.

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                            Sorry, I care if somebody's favorite book is about a pedophile and they are going to live in my children - You might not and that's ok.

                            I understand everyone's concern that this potentially controlling/stalkerish behaviour etc... and I recognize that and in normal circumstances I AGREE but I'd prefer to err on the side of caution for the safety of my kids (if anything comes of this).

                            "Statistics Canada has found that one in four girls and one in eight boys have been sexually abused by the time they are eighteen"

                            hopefully its nothing.

                            Anyways, I'm just here to get people's feedback, I've gotten it - thanks.
                            If his favorite book was about a murder, would you assume he was a murderer? What if his favorite book was Fifty Shades of Grey... would you assume he is a gay, sex addict?

                            You can't be serious? I just looked at my facebook... the only book I "liked" was Tuesday's with Morrie... however it is FAR from my favorite book... I just can't be bothered to go online and click off every book I have read... geesh...

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                              "Statistics Canada has found that one in four girls and one in eight boys have been sexually abused by the time they are eighteen"
                              My thinking is that this stat is probably due as much to encounters with teenage peers than it is about childhood abuse by an adult. I wouldn't stress yourself out thinking "my daughter has a 25% chance of being abuse."

                              As for the original poster, yeah, it would be nice if private citizens could do background checks for people we deal with, like they do for people who volunteer with children. I think it would make dating much safer too!

                              However background checks only catch people who got caught, so it's not like they are foolproof.

                              You'll just have to trust your ex's judgment, and as noted, teach your child about privacy and appropriate behaviour, and ensure that she always feels comfortable approaching you about anything that bothers her.

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                                If his favorite book was about a murder, would you assume he was a murderer? What if his favorite book was Fifty Shades of Grey... would you assume he is a gay, sex addict?
                                Not talking about my case now but in the theoretical.....

                                if a guy had 50 shades of grey listed as his favorite book, I would think that is weird, I wouldn't care really but on the balance of things I would say it was either a joke or he was sending a message or he was these are just personal analysis I wouldn't mention it or call him out on it.

                                Regarding the murder novels if it were a controversial book that perhaps glorified or sympathized with murderers, I would definitely ask why but the reality is that murder is more rare compared to sexual abuse so I wouldn't be concerned unless the person had other indicators.

                                [quote]
                                You can't be serious? I just looked at my facebook... the only book I "liked" was Tuesday's with Morrie... however it is FAR from my favorite book... I just can't be bothered to go online and click off every book I have read... geesh...[/QUoute]

                                somebody mentioned the mechanic by which this is done and I have to take a look to see what could cause you to put Lolita as ur favorite given that it is controversial is known as the pedopholile classic as it is.

                                I don't take fb seriously but I my ex-wife herself says she was sexually abused, the stats are out there, I don't trust her judgement and unlike others I take into consideration studies and research as a basis for my decision (Cinderella effect).

                                I know its not politically correct to care what my ex does and I have minimal contact with her and try to keep as far away as possible but political correctness be damned I will follow my intuition raise my concerns and if they get shot down and I get laughed at I would take that any day over somebody laying a finger on my kids.

                                Comment

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