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  • #16
    Rockscan - would it be better or more reasonable to not ask for cs to stop when my son is away at school but rather have the cs paid be applied to my portion of his residence fees ?

    I am having some difficulty deciding exactly what to ask for since i dont want to seem unreasonable and want the best chances to be granted what i want.

    The main things that i am looking for are -
    1) to have the RESP fund be applied equally to my portion of my sons education and to my ex wifes portion - right now she doesnt think i should get any of it applied to my portion
    2) the amount that i have in arrears be wiped clean which should happen if #1 is granted
    3) and to have cs stopped while he is at school or to have cs paid go towards my portion of his residence fees

    There are a few other minor things like having a full accounting of the resp funds and how they are used which i dont get right now because the funds are not in my name.

    I dont think any of what i want is unreasonable or unfair and actually the way it is now is very unreasonable and unfair.

    Also what are the standards when it comes to co-op work terms ?

    My sons program has a couple of semesters that are work terms along with a full year (3 semesters in a row) of co-op work term and just wondering if cs should be paid during these terms.

    Comment


    • #17
      Who paid into the RESP? The two of you or her? If you both paid into it then she should be providing the total balance.

      If she paid into it only then technically it is for her portion HOWEVER if she used all of the RESP funds she can’t say here is your bill because it is already paid. Technically you pay your proportionate share of what is owed. Otherwise she is double dipping.

      Bottom line, if you know the RESP was completely used then I would be asking for full disclosure.

      As for cs, if he is living away from home you are responsible for a portion of his living expenses while at school and should not be paying cs during those months. I would look at the months he was away at school and the months he was at home and ask to pay the 12 month average of the total for the months he was home. For instance, if he is home four months and you pay $500 a month, you divide $2000 by 12 and thats your monthly amount going forward but if it was last year you owe $2000.

      If his work terms/co-op is being done while living at moms then you owe cs for those months.

      Does that help?

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      • #18
        I contributed $100/month into the RESP for 14 years and to be honest, i dont know if she even contributed a single cent into it as i havent seen a statement of the account.

        The account is in her name only as per our separation agreement and she has not sent me a statement even though i asked her for one.

        She did tell me the balance of the account last August which was over $40000 and used up about $15000 of it to pay for all of my sons first year expenses.

        She is absolutely double dipping as she paid the full amount of the years cost with the RESP and still wants me to pay her for half of those expenses.

        And on top of that she still wants full cs paid even though he is staying in residence and that was also part of the $15000 paid from the RESP.

        i agree with your calculation on the amount of cs that i should be paying and in fact I even offered to pay her for 5 months of cs instead of 4 and she wouldnt go for it.

        The way you calculated cs - is that pretty much a standard thing when the child is staying at school rather than staying at home ?

        Just wondering how likely a judge is to agree with it before i ask for it.

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        • #19
          Do you have proof of your payments and/or anything in writing that you were required to pay that amount?

          I can’t say what a judge would do but in my husbands case the RESP they jointly contributed to was taken of the parents share and his RESP he opened himself was used for his portion.

          CS is not normally paid according to my husbands lawyer. He said only in special cases he has seen of high income earners and that was for a custodial parent who had a much smaller income. Its reasonable for you to argue to not pay when you are contributing to his living expenses elsewhere.

          I would request disclosure of the RESP and see what was withdrawn.

          I cant remember, have you filed your motion yet?

          Comment


          • #20
            Meant to also add, make her an offer in line with the law and don’t worry if she accepts or not. If she doesn’t and then pushes this to trial and loses, you can argue for costs. Shes being completely unreasonable.

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            • #21
              no i have not filed my motion yet but will be doing so this week. thats why i am trying to nail down exactly what i am going to ask for and how to properly ask for it.

              the only thing i have regarding the resp is the original form i filled out when the resp was opened with the bank and then of course i would be able to get my bank statements showing the $100 coming out every month.

              Comment


              • #22
                You are filing a motion to change the agreement for cs and school expenses.

                Your agreement obviously had a clause for school expenses which is how she was able to file them with fro?

                Within your motion you set out the timeline and where kids lived and when it changed. You also outline that you have received no information on the school expenses and the RESP amounts. You note that you have paid into it every month for 14 years and you put those as attachments.

                You request disclosure of all RESP totals, grants and OSAP awards as well as any other relevant information required to determine your share of the expense.

                Get your motion filed. Your first date will be to set the date for a conference and that could be two months away. Then the conference date will be several months after that. The sooner you get this done the better!

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                • #23
                  I should also mention that in your documents you need to say it like “To the best of my knowledge, full payment of sons fees were completed using funds from the RESP” after you state you have contributed $X to the fund.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    thanks again for all your help on this rockscan !

                    I am going to be getting my documents issued and serving them to my ex this week so im looking forward to getting this process underway.

                    quick question though - when listing all of the things that i am asking for, should it be phrased like this - "I am asking the judge to order that...." ?

                    just not sure on the the best/proper way to phrase it.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      You request all the things:
                      1. Arrears to be fixed xyz.
                      2. Child support be terminated for kid xyz.
                      3. Child support for other kid(s) be set at xyz.
                      4. RESP documents be disclosed.
                      5. Full details and documentation of expenses.
                      6. School expenses be calculated as xyz.

                      Think about what you want. Then list each on individually. You will get your first court date which will be to see if all necessary documentation has been disclosed. At that date you will set a date for a conference. At the conference you will get direction from the judge. Hopefully your ex realizes you are serious and pulls her head out of her ass.

                      Make an offer to settle too!

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Rockscan do you mind if i send you a PM ?

                        if you dont mind, I would like to send you exactly what i have down and see what you think ?

                        If not thats okay, I think i have it down pretty good but just looking for another set of eyes to look it over.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Sure send it to me and i will have a look

                          Comment

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