I have 50/50 custody with my ex for our 12 soon to be 13 year old son. It is a Monday to Monday arrangement. Since about January 1st 2019 my son has been with me for all but about 2 weeks of the year. My ex lives an hour away from where my son goes to school. My son had been getting up at 530 am on her weeks, driving the hr drive where my ex would drop my son off at her mother/fathers house so they could drop him off at school.
Before 2014 I was a every other weekend dad. I took my ex back to court for 50/50 custody of our son, for numerous reason. We had a family court assessment done with it going in my favour. From the results of the assessment the judge ruled that I would be awarded with 50/50 custody. The judge stated that my sons life was in the area I reside in and that if she chooses to move away she is to have him do all his around here. All his schooling, sports etc must be done in my area.
It has been a trying 5 years. MY ex is very difficult to deal with and puts herself before my son. Over the last year my ex notified me that her shift was now changing from 7 am-3 pm to 6 am-2 pm, but this would only effect the weeks she does not have my son. This was a lie.. Since Sept 2018 my ex has been getting my son up at 430 am to drop him off at her parents to again drop him off at school. When I confronted her on this she lied and said that she was not working those hours, however my son is telling us he is getting up at 430 am to go to grandmas.
This past hockey season my son made his rep team which had his ice time increase to a 3-4 days a week with at some points leaving the rink at 9 pm. My ex has constantly moaned and groaned regarding our son playing any sports for it takes away from "Her time" (Those are her words) During the season my son asked if he can just stay over night at my place so that he does not have to get so early for school and he can take the bus from my place and have his mother pick him up at school. She agreed to this for this benefited her in many ways and she didn't have to sit around and wait for our son on her weeks. My son missed a few tournaments on her weeks for my ex would not take him. She refused to allow us to take him instead. My son was very upset about this.
As previously stated since January 1, 2019 my son has been with my ex for at most 2 weeks. He has now decided that he no longer wants to live with her on her weeks and only wants to see her on a few occasions. I have been very mindful to make sure that I talk to him and make him understand that his mom misses him and that shed like to see him. He constantly says "he doesn't care" and ultimately has a melt down when I try to talk to him about it.
He has many reasons for staying with me. One time He tried to make arrangements to go with her on a weekend and he had his hockey banquet on the Sunday and she refused to drive back for him to attend it. So he refused to go with her. My sons team won ALL-Ontario's for his age/category and he was very proud of it and want to attend to celebrate with his teammates. She wouldn't take him.
She never calls him, she is always texting me telling me to have him call her. I constantly tell her that she too can call him. She knows his number. But she refuses to call. She will go the whole week without talking to him before I make him call her. To see our son things must be on her terms and conditions and is very unbending. I've asked her maybe to pick him up in the middle of the week and take him for dinner. Even go to her parents for dinner and she refuses to do anything unless it is on her terms. Honestly there is a real issue with my son going to his grandparents when he is with me for the last time he did, he said they ganged up on him and tried to talk him out of staying at his dads all the time.
He tells us he does nothing there, she constantly complains she has no money to do anything and he just sits in his room and plays Fortnite. They live in the middle of no where so it is hard for him to do anything. He never sees any of his friends while he is with her. She will not make arrangements for his friends to come over. He says he misses so much because she will not let him see his friends because she lives an hour away.
He says she is constantly yelling at him and and is very volatile. He says she is a liar. He told us recently when he asked if wed purchase him something that his mother gave him money for him for Christmas then a few days afterwards told him that she needed it back for an emergency. He has never seen it again. Hes really upset about that. He no longer trusts her. I asked her about it and she said he was lying. Wed noticed that his grades had dropped since he started getting up at 430 am. He says he is tired of being tired all the time and cant concentrate at school while his is with her because he gets up so early.
There are many more, but these are just a few that come to mind.
The other thing is I pay her off set CS. However he has not been with her for 3.5 months and is still receiving CS via FRO. I'm not overly concerned about the money, for I know that can work itself out via the court.
My question is. What can I do? What are my options. She's not really fighting this but complains she misses him.
Before 2014 I was a every other weekend dad. I took my ex back to court for 50/50 custody of our son, for numerous reason. We had a family court assessment done with it going in my favour. From the results of the assessment the judge ruled that I would be awarded with 50/50 custody. The judge stated that my sons life was in the area I reside in and that if she chooses to move away she is to have him do all his around here. All his schooling, sports etc must be done in my area.
It has been a trying 5 years. MY ex is very difficult to deal with and puts herself before my son. Over the last year my ex notified me that her shift was now changing from 7 am-3 pm to 6 am-2 pm, but this would only effect the weeks she does not have my son. This was a lie.. Since Sept 2018 my ex has been getting my son up at 430 am to drop him off at her parents to again drop him off at school. When I confronted her on this she lied and said that she was not working those hours, however my son is telling us he is getting up at 430 am to go to grandmas.
This past hockey season my son made his rep team which had his ice time increase to a 3-4 days a week with at some points leaving the rink at 9 pm. My ex has constantly moaned and groaned regarding our son playing any sports for it takes away from "Her time" (Those are her words) During the season my son asked if he can just stay over night at my place so that he does not have to get so early for school and he can take the bus from my place and have his mother pick him up at school. She agreed to this for this benefited her in many ways and she didn't have to sit around and wait for our son on her weeks. My son missed a few tournaments on her weeks for my ex would not take him. She refused to allow us to take him instead. My son was very upset about this.
As previously stated since January 1, 2019 my son has been with my ex for at most 2 weeks. He has now decided that he no longer wants to live with her on her weeks and only wants to see her on a few occasions. I have been very mindful to make sure that I talk to him and make him understand that his mom misses him and that shed like to see him. He constantly says "he doesn't care" and ultimately has a melt down when I try to talk to him about it.
He has many reasons for staying with me. One time He tried to make arrangements to go with her on a weekend and he had his hockey banquet on the Sunday and she refused to drive back for him to attend it. So he refused to go with her. My sons team won ALL-Ontario's for his age/category and he was very proud of it and want to attend to celebrate with his teammates. She wouldn't take him.
She never calls him, she is always texting me telling me to have him call her. I constantly tell her that she too can call him. She knows his number. But she refuses to call. She will go the whole week without talking to him before I make him call her. To see our son things must be on her terms and conditions and is very unbending. I've asked her maybe to pick him up in the middle of the week and take him for dinner. Even go to her parents for dinner and she refuses to do anything unless it is on her terms. Honestly there is a real issue with my son going to his grandparents when he is with me for the last time he did, he said they ganged up on him and tried to talk him out of staying at his dads all the time.
He tells us he does nothing there, she constantly complains she has no money to do anything and he just sits in his room and plays Fortnite. They live in the middle of no where so it is hard for him to do anything. He never sees any of his friends while he is with her. She will not make arrangements for his friends to come over. He says he misses so much because she will not let him see his friends because she lives an hour away.
He says she is constantly yelling at him and and is very volatile. He says she is a liar. He told us recently when he asked if wed purchase him something that his mother gave him money for him for Christmas then a few days afterwards told him that she needed it back for an emergency. He has never seen it again. Hes really upset about that. He no longer trusts her. I asked her about it and she said he was lying. Wed noticed that his grades had dropped since he started getting up at 430 am. He says he is tired of being tired all the time and cant concentrate at school while his is with her because he gets up so early.
There are many more, but these are just a few that come to mind.
The other thing is I pay her off set CS. However he has not been with her for 3.5 months and is still receiving CS via FRO. I'm not overly concerned about the money, for I know that can work itself out via the court.
My question is. What can I do? What are my options. She's not really fighting this but complains she misses him.
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