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Family Law Lawyers- Is it true that "You get what you pay for"?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
    I take it you're a law clerk with a ton of experience.

    Yes, I am Corporate Clerk. Been in doing the job since graduating college in 1999. So yeah, I've been around lol

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    • #17
      Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
      The judge will believe you too, but that still doesn't change the outcome, and you didn't answer the question.
      the question about how his (my lawyers) hypothesis was proven? He said that it would matter to people reviewing my file- as it relates to custody and access with our daughter. He was right.



      You came here to say everyone, including all other lawyers you spoke to, were wrong. I'm waiting to hear why your situation is special and how you will be presenting it properly, in order to get that outcome.

      Dad has never abused child, has always had a great relationship with child, child wants to be with dad more, the past year of supervised access has been great, parents communicate well, parents attend co- therapy together, dad works and lives a productive life, dad has fought for child non stop while you're hoping to avoid court, etc...
      Mom thinks he's too angry and probably on drugs/alcohol.
      My situation isn't special, sadly.

      What's different about my case- and I've said from the beginning- is that my ex directed his violent actions and words towards our daughter. Threatening to harm your own kid is next level, but very normal- people who "work and live productive lives" do it. That argument saying he "works and lives a productive life" is the dumbest one.

      When there's a pattern of behaviour that starts at intimate partners (women mostly, but men too)...it often ends up directed at children as they get older. You want stats?

      Take a look at the work of this Professor from the University of New Brunswick: https://www.unb.ca/faculty-staff/dir...son-linda.html

      Her work has been excerpted and directly contributed to Canadian Department of Justice's publications on domestic violence- see here: https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/...cvf/index.html

      A lot of what you say is subjective statements "dad has always had a great relationship to the child"...really? how do you know that?

      "parents communicate well"...really? how do you know that? That I'm able to use OFW with him doesn't mean we're hunky dory. The fact that we use OFW means something.

      I purposely stay away from subjective statements like that in all of my pleadings- and in my interviews with the OCL. I do not make statements on whether he's a good dad. You know why? Being a "good parent" means shit if you're unsafe. My entire argument isn't that he's a bad father- it's that he's not a safe one. Not now.

      I get where you're coming from- it seems like mom is the ultimate gatekeeper here, and trying to damage or destroy dad's relationship with child. I'm not doing that. But I am gatekeeping- you're damn right I am- because I have to. I'm dealing with someone who- in a fit of rage- destroyed a 14 month old's story book- on purpose. Who- when confronted with a situation that made him angry- threatened to kill his own daughter while she was sleeping. Who lacks such insight into his own behaviour that he said he did it to make mom mad- not realizing that it wouldn't make someone mad, but really really fearful. And make any professional viewing the situation go "wtf".

      Mom doesn't think he has a problem with alcohol and substance use. I know he does. If you have two DUI convictions- and one including jail time- and you never go to AA, you have an issue. If you lose your shit when someone threatens to throw out your weed? You have a problem.

      But how am I going to prove and present all this evidence? Dispassionately and matter-of-factly- with evidence. Police reports. Prior conviction records. Therapists subpoenaed notes. Phone records. Text records. Emails. Will I put his sister up on the stand and question her about the times she had to attend at our house to calm her brother down? Yep.

      I will do whatever it takes to make sure our daughter isn't put in the care of someone who has already proven he cannot control his anger. I don't give a fuck if he's a good dad and loves his kid. You don't think parents who kill their kids during a custody dispute, love their kid? I'm sure they do.
      Loving a kid and fighting for them doesn't make one bit of difference.

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      • #18
        I just wanted to confirm that this was just you and your lawyer's opinion and not fact or some secret sauce that proves everyone else was wrong about dv. You just hope the judge will agree with you and your $750/hour lawyer. I got it.

        Most of what you talk about is irrelevant, sounds nice, but the judge won't care. Other people will agree with your feelings, but it's only the trial judge that matters and there are specific case law, rules, acts that deal with dv and only the judge will go by them... without emotion.

        My subjective statements all came from you and what you said, although it does keep changing. You may think it's dumb but it's what the judge will look at for the best interest test, not the other irrelevant fluff.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
          ... there are specific case law, rules, acts that deal with dv and only the judge will go by them... without emotion.
          name them.

          what cases?

          find me a case where there's a criminal conviction on record for DV against a partner- AND the child(ren); where the parent who committed the act(s) gets 50/50...or joint custody.

          what rules?


          what acts?

          Other than the Children's Law Reform Act. Find me a section of that act, or any other for that matter, that trumps section 24(4).

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          • #20
            I went from a $350 lawyer to a $250 one (called in 2014) and she was much better and more strategic. The former was phoning it in. I should have switched sooner! I also wanted to add that she had a toddler at the time and could relate much better what the issues were vs. my previous lawyer who had older children.

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