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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 01-28-2020, 08:28 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Default Moving back into house?

Asking for a friend of a friend... and pretty sure I know the answer but...

Husband moved out of house in September as wife wanted some time to think about separating... itís been decided the marriage is over... husband has been living with family since September and now family wants to charge him rent. Heís unable to afford rent while paying all household bills in the mat home, plus supporting his children... can he tell his ex wife heís moving back in until things are settled?

Currently going back and forth with lawyers, husband makes over $100k, house is worth $600k with large mortgage, wife is currently on mat leave, says she wants to buy house but even at her full time job she probably wouldnít be approved for a sole mortgage.

Husband now understands the huge mistake he made with moving out (since wife is playing gatekeeper with the kids, limited time and less overnights)... if he were to move back in he could see the kids every night and be a parent like he always has been before he moved out. Heís trying to settle but wife is dragging her feet knowing sheíd have to move... his lawyer is filing in court.

So what are the odds of him moving back in? Can she stop him? He hasnít changed any documents to say he has another permanent address.


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  #2  
Old 01-28-2020, 11:53 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Yes, he can move back in. Itís the matrimonial home which belongs to both parties. He did well to maintain his responsibility to the payments of the home. He can live out of basement, and they can set schedules to when they use the kitchen so they donít constantly bump into each other. Few options what will happen:

A) she hates arrangement and subsequently moves out herself (note: she herself must maintain responsibility to payments)
B) she hates arrangement and files in court for exclusive possession of house which would decide who gets to stay in house during process; or
C) outcome of house is determined through settlement or trial
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Old 01-28-2020, 11:55 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Sorry, there is Option D:

D) she falsely alleges domestic abuse and gets restraining order on ex forcing him to stay away from house until the matter is disposed of through settlement or trial
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Old 01-29-2020, 06:57 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Well his lawyer got back to him this morning and told him no he canít move back in as heís been out for 4-5 months... thatís actually what I figured. Just because itís the mat home doesnít give him the right to move in and out. Heís entitled to the value of the asset not necessarily the asset itself


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Old 01-29-2020, 09:20 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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I don't think his lawyer is correct. I am not a lawyer, but without an order for exclusive possession, the ex cannot keep him out of the house. She may have good argument to get such an order, but until she actually does he is entitled to live there.

So he can move back in. He would have to notify the ex that he is and provide a plan (schedule on when he plans on moving back and where in the house he is going to live), which will probably force her to seek an order for exclusive possession. But yes, he can move back in.
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Old 01-29-2020, 09:27 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
I don't think his lawyer is correct. I am not a lawyer, but without an order for exclusive possession, the ex cannot keep him out of the house. She may have good argument to get such an order, but until she actually does he is entitled to live there.

So he can move back in. He would have to notify the ex that he is and provide a plan (schedule on when he plans on moving back and where in the house he is going to live), which will probably force her to seek an order for exclusive possession. But yes, he can move back in.


His lawyer stated because they have been living separate and apart for 5 months he canít move back in. They both own the house yes, but he moved out and took up residence elsewhere for the past 5 months, he hasnít been back to the house since to stay. His lawyer related it to a landlord tenant situation. Just because a Landlord owns a house, doesnít give them the right to come and go as they please. So he moved out willingly and this has been on going for 5 months now. Iíll let my friend know and she can let the husband know but I doubt heíll go against the advice of his lawyer


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Old 01-29-2020, 09:48 AM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Rather than just concede the point, how about he sends the following message:

Hey ex,

This has been a difficult few months for us, and I appreciate how we have tried to keep this as amicable as possible. While I would love to continue to give us space to live our own lives, at the moment I cannot afford to pay rent and the upkeep on the house.

Unfortunately, that means I will have to move back into the house. I will let you keep the master bedroom, and I will take [ROOM 2]. If you think it would be better for me to take a different room, please let me know!

I will finish out the month at my current place, and I will be moving back on February 1st. If you could leave the driveway empty between 2pm and 5pm I would really appreciate it!

Thank you so much. I know this sucks a bit, but I think we can easily stay out of each other's way while still being there for the children.

Sincerely,

Me


Maybe, if he is lucky, she says "you can sleep in the basement" or some other horrible place. He agrees, and then moves back home with her permission. Note that if she doesn't reply, he also gets to move back home, because the message does not actually ask for permission.

I would definitely try to move home. The stakes are kids. He can't just give up.
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Old 01-29-2020, 10:30 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Thanks Janus... Iíve passed this along. I agree he should be able to move back in because she doesnít have exclusive possession but with being out 5 months... how would a judge see this?


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Old 01-29-2020, 10:50 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
His lawyer stated because they have been living separate and apart for 5 months he canít move back in. They both own the house yes, but he moved out and took up residence elsewhere for the past 5 months, he hasnít been back to the house since to stay. His lawyer related it to a landlord tenant situation. Just because a Landlord owns a house, doesnít give them the right to come and go as they please. So he moved out willingly and this has been on going for 5 months now. Iíll let my friend know and she can let the husband know but I doubt heíll go against the advice of his lawyer

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But this isn't a landlord tenant thing. This arrangement was never meant to be permanent. He moved out as the "wife wanted some time to think about separating". What happened if she didn't want to divorce, obviously he would be able to move back in. She used the chances of reconciliation as ammo to get what she wanted.

IMO, this was always intended to be a temporary arrangement. He likely moved out with the hopes that they would be able to work things out. Had he known that the ex wouldn't come around, that he would never have left in the first place. Yes, the chances of what happened were always out there. But he left in good faith in an attempt to work on the marriage. IMO, she got him to move out on false pretenses.

She does not have an order for exclusive possession, so he can move back in and take up space in the basement or whatever.

IMO, people that move out of the house are putting themselves in a poor position. This is allowing the ex to control your friends ability to see the children, and likely custody in future. If he had of known this to begin with, he likely would never have moved out.
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Old 01-29-2020, 01:38 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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He can move back in. My friend was in the same situation. Sent a letter exactly like Janus indicated. Careful though....my friend moved back in on May 1, only to find that his ex moved out herself (to not live with him) and took the kids and all the furniture, leaving him to an empty house. She then refused to give back furniture, and herself stopped paying her share of the mortgage, but insisted he pay full child support. He couldnít afford mortgage, CS, debt repayments, and now surmounting legal fees due to the predicament so he was forced to sell house to stay above water. She also knew that itíd be stupid for my friend to spend $15,000 in legal fees to recoup said furniture.

So definitely tell your friend to protect himself from her pulling a fast one. But to answer the question, yes, he can move back in. He simply did the gentleman thing and gave her space, and now times up.
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