Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #171  
Old 12-16-2019, 11:08 AM
tilt tilt is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 231
tilt is on a distinguished road
Default

Oh I totally agree! But Judges definitely have their biases; as self-reps we have to be mindful of those biases and how the Judgeís views affects their decisions. It is a systemic problem.

Last edited by tilt; 12-16-2019 at 11:54 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #172  
Old 12-16-2019, 02:18 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,605
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

have you been paying any sort of CS to the step mom?
Reply With Quote
  #173  
Old 12-18-2019, 09:01 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 58
Mummaa222 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
have you been paying any sort of CS to the step mom?
Everything still goes to him since she is still only his representative and the custody order is "without prejudice".

They weren't married so she basically has no right to anything. It has been over 90 days now so she shouldn't even be living in his house right now unless she's paying rent because the house goes to our daughters and neither are old enough to make any decisions.

I plan on applying to be guardian of their property (I gain nothing by doing this). I will be asking for his mother to be guardian along with me because she has a background in banking. Nobody has applied yet or they've applied and I wasn't notified as I should have been as their only living biological parent. That's quite possible as they don't seem to be doing anything the way it's supposed to be done. She's driving his truck and I know he had loan protection, which means it has been paid off in full but because she wasn't on the loan she has no right to it.

I'm afraid to do anything about any of these things though because I can guarantee that I'll be painted as evil if I do. At the same time, if I don't do anything then our daughters lose what should have been theirs. I predict that once she finds out there's no assets going to her that she won't think playing mommy is much fun anymore.
Reply With Quote
  #174  
Old 12-18-2019, 09:10 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,360
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

How do you know so much about your ex husbands affairs? How do you know she wasnít on the loan? How do you know she wasnít on other assets? How do you know they didnít share a bank account? Things totally are not adding up but I suspect given how long everything is taking (and the children being with her), it wonít be an easy fight to get them back. If I remember correctly they are teenagers (or almost teenagers? I donít have time to reread this whole thread)... but Standing makes a point... if she currently has temp custody of the children shouldnít you be paying CS? I assume you were paying to your ex and seeing as you donít have custody of the children CS should be following the children. Just because they were not married does not mean sheís entitled to nothing. This whole thing is really confusing and itís concerning you donít have a lawyer to assist you


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #175  
Old 12-18-2019, 09:14 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 58
Mummaa222 is on a distinguished road
Default

Update:

Their lawyer emailed me Monday morning to say that if I'd like more time to submit my response that she's fine with adjourning ALL matters until the next Motion date. She was WAY too nice in her email, saying that they'd contact me with a long motion date and see if it's good with me and if it isn't that I could just let them know when is good for me. She said that I can just let her know when I'm ready to submit my response.

So tomorrow we go to Motion court so she can ask for an Order on the 2 procedural matters that I consented to and then it's adjourned.

Today they emailed me with Long Motion dates which included ones in January, February, and March and said that the March 20th date works best for them.

So I was served with all this just before Christmas, came close to losing my mind from the stress, and sent my daughter away for the weekend just so I could try to have my material ready to serve and it was for absolutely nothing!

I emailed the lawyer today to ask for access or communication with myself and their little sister over the holidays or for access or communication with my mother and their little sister if not with me. Asking for my mother to see them when I can't was difficult and will be so hard if she does agree to it but I'd rather they have contact with someone from my family than with nobody...and their little sister asks about them every day and is hurting from this so that's what's most important.

We'll see what happens...I'm betting it's a no for either.
Reply With Quote
  #176  
Old 12-19-2019, 02:14 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 58
Mummaa222 is on a distinguished road
Default

So today was Motion day...seemed like a waste of everyone's time.

She got to change the title of the proceedigs adding the stepmom as his representative and adjourn until January to set a date for a long Motion which isn't until March 20. I won't be seeing my baby girls all that time. I'll miss my daughter's birthday. I'm not sure I can handle much more of this.

Stepmom was there with his mother. My daughter's school Christmas concert was this morning and stepmom chose to be at the courthouse (she didn't need to be present) instead of be there for my daughter at her first Christmas concert without her daddy. If I thought for one second that she maybe actually cared more about my girls than she did about getting revenge on me for things I said close to 10 years ago she just proved that I am 100% right about her.

Not a good day emotionally/mentally. I just want to be with my babies and let them know their Mommy loves them more than life itself.

The justice system is messed up!!!
Reply With Quote
  #177  
Old 12-19-2019, 02:25 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 58
Mummaa222 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
How do you know so much about your ex husbands affairs? How do you know she wasnít on the loan? How do you know she wasnít on other assets? How do you know they didnít share a bank account? Things totally are not adding up but I suspect given how long everything is taking (and the children being with her), it wonít be an easy fight to get them back. If I remember correctly they are teenagers (or almost teenagers? I donít have time to reread this whole thread)... but Standing makes a point... if she currently has temp custody of the children shouldnít you be paying CS? I assume you were paying to your ex and seeing as you donít have custody of the children CS should be following the children. Just because they were not married does not mean sheís entitled to nothing. This whole thing is really confusing and itís concerning you donít have a lawyer to assist you


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I know all this because the day he died he was at my son's father's house with my son's stepmother. I get along great with them...even drove her to the hospital for the birth of one of their children. She's the one who called to let me know when he passed. She likes to talk and gives a lot of info about things without even being asked. She knows all this because him and her were "best friends". I don't understand the relationship and don't bother myself with the details.

She has without prejudice custody which means she doesn't have offical custody...the girls just needed to be somewhere.

I have no idea what goes on with any payments to him. I've assumed that's up to his lawyer and her to deal with?

Common spouses are not entitled to anything when one dies intestate. She can go to court and fight for a share but apparently it's hard to prove. She's entitled to death benefits for a certain amount of time. Everything else belongs to his children now.

Besides all that, the words out of her mouth when she was notified were "He didn't have a will, I'm going to lose everything"...to me that says a lot.
Reply With Quote
  #178  
Old 12-19-2019, 02:28 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,360
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

So all your knowledge is based on hearsay? Iíd take what this third party tells you with a grain of salt because the reality is, you know nothing


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #179  
Old 12-19-2019, 02:52 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 58
Mummaa222 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
So all your knowledge is based on hearsay? Iíd take what this third party tells you with a grain of salt because the reality is, you know nothing


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I know him and know he wouldn't have put her on it...his mother wouldn't have let him. There's a reason he never married her even after giving her the ring 9 years ago.

But, yes, you're right that I don't know the absolute facts about any of that. Does that mean that I shouldn't be looking out for our daughters' futures and do what's necessary to keep what's rightfully theirs out of someone else's hands? There's no guarantee this woman is going to stick around so there's no way I'm just going to sit back and let her take away even more than she already has from my daughters. She has destroyed enough and needs to be stopped.

It would take me a week to tell you all the details of the hell she has put my family and I through in the past 10 years and she's still doing it.

Do you think someone who wants $8,000 if I ever want to go back to court for my children (should she get custody) and $15,000 if I want to even ask for custody has the best interests of those girls in mind? She wants me, their 2 siblings, and an entire extended family out of their lives completely and forever. The fact that she'd even ask that proves it.

She sat behind me in court today and pretended to be crossing her legs and kicked the bench I was sitting on multiple times...it wasn't accidental after the first couple of times. She has a personal vendetta against me for things I said almost 10 years ago. She's psychotic by definition.
Reply With Quote
  #180  
Old 12-19-2019, 10:22 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 167
Helpmyspouse is on a distinguished road
Default

Stepmom is holding on to those girls because she sees dollar signs. Don't give up fighting for your kids and what belongs to them. Stay strong. Prayer helps me and it's cheaper than therapy.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
alienated, death, p.a.s., sole custody, step-mother


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Best Interests of Children: An Evidence- Based Approach WorkingDAD Divorce & Family Law 13 01-12-2013 08:15 PM
Joint Physical Custody: Smart Solution or Problematic Plan? WorkingDAD Parenting Issues 19 09-17-2012 06:38 AM
Joint custody - questions & answers (US) first timer Parenting Issues 0 03-20-2011 12:07 AM
Co-parenting ----post divorce bearall Parenting Issues 14 05-25-2010 11:14 AM
How to proceed CatvsLion Divorce & Family Law 9 04-25-2006 10:10 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:07 AM.