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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #71  
Old 09-28-2019, 04:52 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is online now
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The children are currently living with a mentally ill non relative adult who is expressing homicidal ideation. The police have the authority to arrest the stepmother based on the death threats as well as apprehend her under the mental health act, take her to a hospital where she can be placed on a 72hour Form 1 mental health certificate and admitted and held for observation and assessment.

Somebody who is expressing homicidal ideation is not rational! This is an extremely unsafe situation for the OPís children to be in. They need to be removed immediately from the girlfriend. If they have to go to foster care, so be it. At least they will be safe in foster care. Whether the children hate her or not is irrelevant. Itís not like she would be ripping them from a warm, supportive and loving environment with a supportive, mature and rational adult. On the contrary , she would be rescuing them from an environment where they are living with an emotionally unstable and HOMICIDAL individual! Ask yourselves, would you let your kids stay with a deranged homicidal babysitter?

There are good stepmothers out there. This one is not. This one has also overstepped her bounds by an Olympic mile and needs to be put in her place ( which is nowhere near the OPís children). The stepmother may think sheís important in the childrenís lives but she is in for a rude awakening. She played a role in their lives because the father who had custody allowed her to. Now that the father is dead, in the eyes of the court she is a nobody in this matter. The biological mother is alive and the only party in this matter. She gets full custody.

If there are questions as to the bio motherís fitness to be a parent then the CAS would start a new proceeding against her . Once again the stepmother would not be a party to the court proceedings. In the scenario with the CAS launching an action against the mother, the children would be removed from the stepmother and placed in foster are because the stepmother is hostile and antagonistic.

The stepmother fails to acknowledge the OP is also grieving, she is lashing out in anger and you bet she knows the tables have turned. The stepmother is not rational. She is terrified she will lose the children as well ( she will) .The OP has said in earlier posts she is afraid for the safety of her children . The text from the stepmother is confirmation that the OP was right.
Bottom line, the children are residing with an unstable, irrational non relative who is homicidal and whom the OP fears will harm her children out of desperation.
Get the children out of that home and somewhere safe.
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  #72  
Old 09-28-2019, 05:09 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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The OP already stated the judge wanted to proceed with what was scheduled...

Nope, the OP clearly said:

The trial coordinator emailed his lawyer and myself to say that the motion scheduled for October 4th cannot be heard at this time but His Honour would still like to address the issue.

The existing Motion is as dead as her ex. The Dead cannot have custody of children or continue (non-property) motions in Court. The judge still wants to address the issue of custody however, most likely by following CLRA and formalizing that she has legal custody of the children. Was probably going to ask that there be some on-consent access to the step mom, but the step mom just blew that out of the water with her stupid text. Step mom must have been feeling confident she would get custody, or else knew she wonít get custody and hoped to scare OP off from pursuing it.

As the judge has said the motion will not be heard there is no need to serve anything as the other sideís lawyer said - lawyer was probably hoping OP would file an unhinged affidavit because of the step momís text - muddying the decision for the judge. OP just need to keep calm and continue to put the childrenís best interests first. Considering that txt, the girls would probably be better served with no access to the step mom and significant therapy (OP mentioned she already has a therapist lined up, which is perfect). If the OP doesnít already have affidavits from her first baby daddy and his wife expressing their support she should get them done ASAP, as well as affidavits from her extended family (and son) who used to have a strong relationship with the girls prior to the step momís antics. Judges want to see a strong, stable, (preferably biologically related) support network.

Last edited by tilt; 09-28-2019 at 05:16 PM.
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  #73  
Old 09-28-2019, 05:23 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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Letting the police and CAS know about the txt is important however, in case they DO decide to press charges. Non-biological people pursing custody in court have to present their criminal record and dealings with CAS to Court - as laid out in the CLRA as the basic first step before the application would even be heard Biological parents donít.
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  #74  
Old 09-28-2019, 06:03 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tilt View Post
The OP already stated the judge wanted to proceed with what was scheduled...



Nope, the OP clearly said:



The trial coordinator emailed his lawyer and myself to say that the motion scheduled for October 4th cannot be heard at this time but His Honour would still like to address the issue.



The existing Motion is as dead as her ex. The Dead cannot have custody of children or continue (non-property) motions in Court. The judge still wants to address the issue of custody however, most likely by following CLRA and formalizing that she has legal custody of the children. Was probably going to ask that there be some on-consent access to the step mom, but the step mom just blew that out of the water with her stupid text. Step mom must have been feeling confident she would get custody, or else knew she wonít get custody and hoped to scare OP off from pursuing it.



As the judge has said the motion will not be heard there is no need to serve anything as the other sideís lawyer said - lawyer was probably hoping OP would file an unhinged affidavit because of the step momís text - muddying the decision for the judge. OP just need to keep calm and continue to put the childrenís best interests first. Considering that txt, the girls would probably be better served with no access to the step mom and significant therapy (OP mentioned she already has a therapist lined up, which is perfect). If the OP doesnít already have affidavits from her first baby daddy and his wife expressing their support she should get them done ASAP, as well as affidavits from her extended family (and son) who used to have a strong relationship with the girls prior to the step momís antics. Judges want to see a strong, stable, (preferably biologically related) support network.


Yes exactly... the judge wants to address the issue... so what does filing more motions, calling the police and CAS going to do for the OP? Other than possibly delay proceedings? Either way, no point continuing on. The OP had an appointment with a lawyer and can address all this with the lawyer. If she wants to call the cops, more likely than not her children are going to hate her even more... letís face it... step mom will make it well known who called the cops and the children are not going to care what Moms reasonings are. Court is Friday... less than a week away... speak to the lawyer and follow their advice on how to proceed


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  #75  
Old 09-28-2019, 06:17 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Yes exactly... the judge wants to address the issue... so what does filing more motions, calling the police and CAS going to do for the OP? Other than possibly delay proceedings? Either way, no point continuing on. The OP had an appointment with a lawyer and can address all this with the lawyer. If she wants to call the cops, more likely than not her children are going to hate her even more... letís face it... step mom will make it well known who called the cops and the children are not going to care what Moms reasonings are. Court is Friday... less than a week away... speak to the lawyer and follow their advice on how to proceed


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I agree.

If I was the stepmom and got a text from my partners ex just days after he passes (and emotions are high) I would be pissed considering the bad blood. It would piss me off even more by her saying that she feels my pain. I am not saying the text the stepmom sent was appropriate but she is probably stressed dealing with the funeral preparations etc and the last thing she needed was that text.
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  #76  
Old 09-28-2019, 07:25 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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He died ten days ago and the funeral has already happened. That is why OP delayed contacting the person who was preventing her from having any contact or allowing her to support her own children. A good step-parent would have put the children first and encouraged the girls to be in contact with their only living biological parent. How long do you think a parent should be prevented from seeing their grieving children for the convienece of an adult who should know better - weeks? Months? Maximum contact between parents and children is a foundational pillar of Family Law for a reason.

As far as I am aware, Judges can only address issues that have been brought before the court in accordance with the Family Law Rules. That is why she needs to file a Motion for the judge to address. The ďcannot be heard at this timeĒ phrase is a term of art referring to a procedural issue preventing the current Motion from being heard.

Last edited by tilt; 09-28-2019 at 07:28 PM.
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  #77  
Old 09-28-2019, 08:06 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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the oldest is 14 and has been refusing to see the mother. At that age if she really wanted to see or talk to her bio mom she would. The stepmom maybe acting on the kids wishes, we do not know for sure. There is so much backstory that we do not know.

All I am saying is that if bio mom goes in with guns blazing then it could turn the kids against her. The kids have went through a very tragic loss and need stability right now and time to ease into their new reality. Forcing them to uproot and move without any thought to their feelings/wants/needs isnt good for them.
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  #78  
Old 09-28-2019, 08:49 PM
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I think everyone is raising some good points in this thread.

Kid's safety and well being is most important. I believe that if anyone checks their provincial child safety website they will find directive that everyone and anyone is obligated to report any situation which may be hazardous to children. That could include, but not limited to, lawyer that is spoken to.

I would opt to call Children's Services. If they feel the need for police involvement they will certainly make the call. They will quickly assess the immediate situation and remove children or make available immediate counselling services. Perhaps offer to email or fax the text communication to them.

Then go forward with meeting with lawyer and determining best approach. Like a previous poster indicated, it will be very handy to have documentation in hand when facing a judge.
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  #79  
Old 09-28-2019, 08:53 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is online now
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The only reason the OP would need to go in with guns blazing is because the children are not in a safe, stable environment. It would be completely different if the stepmom was a reasonable, mature adult.
The children are currently living with a non relative adult who is unstable, refusing the only living biological parent reasonable access and expressing criminal homicidal ideation. This current situation is dangerous for the children. The stepmother has made it clear she is would not only sabotage the childrenís relationship with their mother but would have them lose their one remaining parent by murdering her. How utterly heartless and immoral of the stepmother.
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  #80  
Old 09-28-2019, 09:08 PM
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Hope mother isn't in a posting frenzy on facebook........ I'd recommend radio silence for now. Children Services and her lawyer hopefully will provide good advice going forward.

I agree with other posters who feel the step-mother has basically now shot herself in the foot with regards to any hope of custody in future. Step mother will likely continue to implode. I just hope the children aren't around to participate.
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