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  #61  
Old 02-01-2014, 01:37 PM
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Leviathan Leviathan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
DBDBD - I think if you changed your name to DBDBD it would be a step in the right direction. The name is pretty off-putting. I am actually surprised that the name was allowed in the first place: douche bag being a device to flush out a vagina (for those who are unaware).
Whhhooooaaa...really Arabian?..did we all need the definition of a douche bag??
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  #62  
Old 02-01-2014, 01:49 PM
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I thought it appropriate as it seems to be a commonly used word on here.

Not long ago while in a shopping mall I heard some young children (around 10 yrs old) use the word.
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  #63  
Old 02-01-2014, 05:59 PM
ddol1 ddol1 is offline
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I find it an odd question.... I too perhaps have air a tad much but I have tried to be careful in not undermining a lawyer's efforts. I have been told so many times how my case or Ex is the most evil of... or the lowest form of.... and many who have a hard time believing an ex can be so darn determined to destroy their ex just because my "getting sick" (I like that term - although I have learned through much help that I should not be embarrassed for pushing myself so far past my ability to cope physically and mentally that I had a serious breakdown) But nowhere does it excuse the vengeful actions - Gosh if you heard what she called you guys!!!! Even worse the social workers the provincial court judge ordered to "invade our lives" and poison my mind....

I do get a lot of PM's from people who I do not know (or have been active in the last year or so when I had no choice but to cut back before - I wouldn't be here any longer. I am careful in who I speak with, what they are willing to put up on this site and what they detail to me personally - it is always the crazy ex versus the disability issues that is so obvious in most of my posts. I assume my ex reads every single post I put up here although I seriously do not think she "would waste her time with us - those who have totally wrecked her plans of cleaning me out near 100% (I admit after 25 years and my circumstance - 20+ years of absolute trust in my life let alone money - and the sad part of my breakdown which essentially "eliminated my ability to put the pieces together - I was too busy just trying to make it through the day and would continue a long time after she said "I want a divorce".

So as far as do spouses really ever - I can say yes - many actually do judging from the people I have chatted with on both sides of the disability fence. It is not an easy thing to deal with for the disabled party and for the healthy spouse who surprisingly I still managed to support her as far as the cash brought into our union. I had to start from scratch to rebuild my life going backwards and given my circumstance I amaze myself I survived the ordeal.

To be honest - I actually told my ex to get on this site and ask her questions - learn a bit of family law, perhaps "outsiders" freely offering expertise following a long time in this system would have done nothing but good for her. For the longest time I knew I had issues, big issues that affected not only myself but each member of our family. Sad part is as (yes it feels like 10+ years to me now these past two 1/2 years have gone by) but what a difference the "right lawyers" will make in a case like mine. If anything I learned that the accident/ damages/ disability issues are far more complex than what an "average couple may face" (I have thought those with significant business dealings have the same difficulties to get through a divorce).

I for one am very thankful for - yes I actually I do not think I would have made it without this site - even the tainted comments are valued as it gave me a different perspective on things, perhaps even a bit of the ex's as well. I am happy to say though that regardless of how hard this is to say here - my children all have files in the system, along with my EX and myself (which I knew because I was the one getting the direct help.) The psychiatrist in November/ December made it real clear that my files are positive in nature - I absorbed and do my best to put into practice what I had to.

My Ex?? I was one surprized to be told that she had files on her and they are very far from "glowing". Actually from my near going crazy.... was not in my head, what she has purposely done to harm me, to the level of harm her form of child abuse made on our children to get at me I will never forgive. From her BS DV Charges that were dropped, with an apology that perhaps the wrong person was indeed removed from the MH (I still bear resentment as an apology does nothing to the harm "the process" nearly drove me to do something that is unmentionable - and I have the rest of my life to repay my thanks to a family that "saw to it that I regained my self worth - I still can be part of society and I am worth it.

As far as my Ex - I wish she would join this site for her benefit and as consequence to the benefit in the end for each member of our family. As far as today, all that and much more which has made it into the police files, mental health and more.... only shows how much help she really needs, it has been offered but as the saying goes, "The horse can be led to water but doesn't mean the horse will drink". She could really benefit from what this site offers to strangers from "strangers" and the wonderful persons who make this site what it is today..... I would vote that (ok fantasy) but couples who do not just get down and end the games, get down to accepting the truth and do what is best for the family as a whole under our divorce laws, be made to participate in a site like this for that perhaps well needed reality check.
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  #64  
Old 02-01-2014, 08:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I thought it appropriate as it seems to be a commonly used word on here.

Not long ago while in a shopping mall I heard some young children (around 10 yrs old) use the word.
There is no rule here about using vulgar language. There is a rule against calling other members vulgar terms, or gender-bashing.
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  #65  
Old 02-01-2014, 08:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
DBDBD - I think if you changed your name to DBDBD it would be a step in the right direction. The name is pretty off-putting. I am actually surprised that the name was allowed in the first place: douche bag being a device to flush out a vagina (for those who are unaware).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leviathan View Post
Whhhooooaaa...really Arabian?..did we all need the definition of a douche bag??
Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I thought it appropriate as it seems to be a commonly used word on here.

Not long ago while in a shopping mall I heard some young children (around 10 yrs old) use the word.
"Douche" has entered the common vernacular of today's youth to mean more than the vaginal cleansing tool (although in context perhaps still related).

I would not be surprised if you could find an 'urban' definition on some semi-legit website.

In French, the word would mean 'shower'.

So yeah, life's weird like that.
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  #66  
Old 02-03-2014, 12:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
"Douche" has entered the common vernacular of today's youth to mean more than the vaginal cleansing tool (although in context perhaps still related).

I would not be surprised if you could find an 'urban' definition on some semi-legit website.

In French, the word would mean 'shower'.

So yeah, life's weird like that.
So have other offensive terms but, that doesn't mean that we as a society have to accept this new ontology. It was meant to be offensive in how the OP uses it and ultimately people have taken offense to it.

This poster has I think a 30% hit on having all their main threads closed. I would be more than happy to see this one meet the same fate and increase it to 40% now...

Good Luck!
Tayken
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  #67  
Old 02-03-2014, 01:10 PM
AnarX AnarX is offline
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Originally Posted by iceberg View Post
I heard a saying that the strongest people are those who have A LOT of patience.

Patience pays off in many ways. Anger has destroyed many people....families....
LOL
"Patience is a virgin." --- Archie Bunker

I jest but I do so with serious intent: I believe the clash between virgins and non-virgins in our population goes to the heart of most family disruption.

Last edited by AnarX; 02-03-2014 at 01:13 PM.
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  #68  
Old 02-04-2014, 10:05 PM
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wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
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I jest but I do so with serious intent: I believe the clash between virgins and non-virgins in our population goes to the heart of most family disruption.
Could you explain this, please?
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  #69  
Old 02-05-2014, 03:15 PM
AnarX AnarX is offline
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Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
Could you explain this, please?
Yes but it is kind of like discussing religious beliefs with atheists --- a total waste of my time.

I am not going to explain it to you without knowing your sense of morality or your family values. People who share my sense of family values get it without an explanation.

Start a new thread if you want.
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  #70  
Old 02-05-2014, 03:34 PM
DowntroddenDad DowntroddenDad is offline
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Originally Posted by AnarX View Post
Yes but it is kind of like discussing religious beliefs with atheists --- a total waste of my time.

I am not going to explain it to you without knowing your sense of morality or your family values. People who share my sense of family values get it without an explanation.

Start a new thread if you want.
That is quite the statement, and a cop out. If you can't explain it to just anyone, then you don't understand it.

You are assuming way too much.
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