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  • #16
    He knows that only is older sister and him live with me and my current wife. His little sister does not have any father to visit. I don't know what the situation is there, but when we were in court 2 years ago to deal with money issues, she said she was raped and did not know who the father was. But my son used to tell me that "his little sister's daddy is real big and is going to beat you up." I responded by saying that it is really sad that she does not get to visit with him, and he gets to visit with me.(this was before I had custody) He thought about that, and agreed, and has never mentioned this again.(the mother lived with the man for a year until shortly after the little girl was born, and has not been back, and that was 5 yrs ago)

    My son was less than a yr old when his mother and I separated.(she changed the locks and had me arrested, with false accusations) He does not have any recollection of life when his mom and I were together. But he has a photo album of happier times, and he and his sister often ask about the story of each photo, and I tell them all about those good times.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Gary M View Post
      I have to say, my Friend, that I'm thinking along the same lines... If your son has issues, it's because a Big Deal has been made of the situation.

      And I, too, want to know how he knows about his half-sister

      Cheers!

      Gary
      I feel like some people here are attacking me, probably because of my previous posts where I am vocal about the bias that men receive. Therefore I think a little info is in order so that the air may be cleared.

      He and his older sister visits their mom and little sister every wendsday after school until 730pm, and 3 weekends per month. He also talks to his mom and sister nearly everyday when he is at my home. I ensure that we go out and purchase presents for both his mom and his sister for christmas and birthdays. I ensure that we do not talk bad about his mom, and when I need to discipline him, I ensure that he knows that his behavior is not acceptable at my home or his mom's home. We have had CAS(Alberta style) in our home for 5 months becasue of her accusations, and in one of their reports, it was mentioned that when we discussed the issues, I stopped talking with the worker when my child entered the room, and ensured that they were not within earshot when such issues were discussed.

      I have tried very hard to keep my kids from the issues, but that has not stopped them from knowing that things are not good between their mother and I.

      When CAS was in our home doing their thing, my children's behavior was terrible. They started to disrespect me and my wife, when they had never done this before. It has only been recently that they have started to be respectful again, and that has been since my ex's last affidavit where she accused me of mentally abusing my children, and my wife of beating them. I provided CAS a copy of her affidavit, and they were very helpful because they wrote a letter contradicting everything she said in it, and then closed the file. My affidavit provided this letter and their report, plus the report from our aid worker, and from the therapist I have the kids see. Her lawyer did not proceed with the application, claiming it was too late to deal with the summer access.

      We are case managed. Our judge has confirmed that I am the primary parent 3 separate times. My ex's last affidavit claimed that she needed an emergency order to specify her access for the summer. (we were ordered to share the summer with her getting the majority half.) She refused to communicate her suggestions. I therefore said we would swap bi weekly(as I was working 2weeks on 2 weeks off at the time), with my portion being reduced to ensure she had the majority half. She had the kids for 32 days, and I had them for 28 over the summer. She refused and claimed that she demanded a mid week and a weekend visit. (this would have prevented me from putting the kids in any camps or going camping with my friends or family, which the kids enjoy.

      The application was not because of summer access issues, it was because she wanted to get a different judge to order a bi lateral assessment. Our judge was not available to hear the case, that is why it was made as an emergency order. She claimed that my wife and I abuse the kids, and used the involvement of CAS as proof that I was unfit.(I voluntarily agreed to let them come to our home) She also claimed that our judge wanted a bi lateral assessment ordered.(was not true, and in fact the judge told her in november 2009 that if she wanted one, she would have to pay for it herself) What was surprising was despite the serious abuse allegations she made, she did not ask for a change in custody.

      Any event, her lawyer dropped the application the day of the hearing, and said they were going to find funding for an assessment. The deadline has come and gone, so we have a case management hearing to be scheduled to deal with the latest problems. But since they got my affidavit, my ex has been on her best behavior, and my kid's behavior has settled down.

      Comment


      • #18
        Many people see me as pro-dad, and I am, I admit it, but I am also pro-mom.

        I know our system is flawed in favour of women, having fought in it from both sides...and I do not judge a parent on their sex, I judge a parent on their parenting. End of story.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by InterprovincialParents View Post
          Many people see me as pro-dad, and I am, I admit it, but I am also pro-mom.

          I know our system is flawed in favour of women, having fought in it from both sides...and I do not judge a parent on their sex, I judge a parent on their parenting. End of story.
          Well said.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by rwm1273 View Post
            I feel like some people here are attacking me, probably because of my previous posts where I am vocal about the bias that men receive. Therefore I think a little info is in order so that the air may be cleared
            I sincerely apologize if you got the impression I was attacking you. What I meant to say was that I was getting a "bad vibe" from the tone of your post... It appeared to be written by a very angry person whose anger was likely spilling over onto your son.

            Peace,

            Cheers!

            Gary

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            • #21
              I am angry that after 7 years of divorce and over $200K in legal fees, I feel like my kids are suffering for the 10 months of marriage.

              It makes no difference how accommodating I have been, my ex always comes tries to turn it around on me. My first year I had the kids, I offered her the kids for both of their birhtdays, and let them spend xmas day with her. She was not entitled to see them for any of these days, but I did it because it was the right thing to do. She wanted the kids for xmas eve and xmas day, but I told her it was my first time to see the kids for christmas in 5 years, and wanted to put milk and cookies out for santa and watch them open their gifts.

              In court she complained saying that I was alienating them from her, and claimed that "I knew that xmas was important to her and the kids and I didn't even do anything with them."

              Had i followed the court order, she would not have had the kids until the 27th of december.

              How do you deal with a person like this and not get angry?

              Comment

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