Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

What would you do?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • What would you do?

    Court order states Ex is to have EOW access to our kids. (kids are 8&10) Pick up will be no later than 8PM on Friday at a court ordered location. If 8PM cannot be met, ex is to pick up at my home Saturday morning at an agreed upon time.

    Ex has a "new job" and states that he can only pick up at 9:30pm on Friday. When he picks up the kids he then travels 3.5 hours to get home. I believe that 9:30 is too late for pick up given the timely drive following. Am I within my right to ask the Ex to follow the court order? Or should I accommodate his request even though I feel that it is completely inappropriate?

    Gimme the good, the bad and even the ugly opinions!

  • #2
    You could insist on following the order. Or meet halfway to make the drive time earlier. Or consider why it's too late for a friday night when the children don't have to get up early for school the next day. It's only twice a month so may noy be as big a deal as it initially seems when given some thoughtful consideration.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
      You could insist on following the order. Or meet halfway to make the drive time earlier. Or consider why it's too late for a friday night when the children don't have to get up early for school the next day. It's only twice a month so may noy be as big a deal as it initially seems when given some thoughtful consideration.
      I'd suggest meeting halfway (or part of the way). That way the kids get to bed earlier at Dad's house, and it's only twice a month so it's not a major imposition on you. I'm not sure what would be gained by sticking to the order, other than possibly three extra hours of sleep per month for the kids, which isn't much.

      Comment


      • #4
        He has a new job? Does this mean he will actually pay child support?

        Off topic but I had to ask!

        Comment


        • #5
          accommodate his request.... splitting hairs in the grand scheme of things.

          Comment


          • #6
            I think the missing point here is hes also going across the border with them at that hour. So its three hours across the border. If theres traffic or an issue then theyre sitting there at 10 pm.

            I wouldnt sway from the order with him because hes one of those give them an inch and he will take a mile.

            But then again, he doesnt always use his time.

            Comment


            • #7
              Irritates me when parents take jobs that lessens their time with their kids.

              You have 4 options really:

              You could offer to do part of the driving and meet him halfway, and hopefully it won't become too much of a problem.

              You could offer Saturday morning pickups, meeting him part way at 8 or 9:00 AM (he will have to get up early and drive).

              You could agree to keep it at 9:30 PM.

              You could stick with the current agreement and expect him to leave work early on Fridays.

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi All,

                I agree with you all. Not much harm in letting them take the time in the car...just hard to accept that my ex can still dictate to me what he wants
                and how he plans on getting it. Completely ignoring a court order and all.

                Rock: I have been told that he has new employment. I don't know where it is or what he is making. Child support is not a priority for him, never has been....but he managed to tell our kids this weekend that he pays me money every month for things like back to school clothes. (forgetting to let them know that he is over 7K in arrears) I would love to know where he is working....but I'm not sure I am allowed to ask. In due time karma will get him......I just hate waiting.

                Thanks again all for your input. I have decided to not split hairs on this. I don't have to like the time....but at least they do get a chance to spend with their father.

                Comment


                • #9
                  You absolutely are allowed to ask. You can request financial disclosure annually so this would include his complete tax returns, all T slips / documentation of income and a letter from his employer confirming income if this is a new position.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You can ask for a letter from his employer especially if you are with a maintenance agency. And if hes in arrears they have to be able to recover that money.

                    If youre concerned about him ignoring the order then just tell him to follow it. You could do both in one correspondence. Dear ex, please provide details of your employers name and income information to me or FRO. With respect to your request for added time, once I receive the details on your employment I will be able to make an informed decision. Until then I would prefer to leave the situation according to the order in place."

                    How is it he can dictate to you but you get nothing but grief?

                    He also shouldnt be sharing financial info with the kids. If they dont ask him then he shouldnt be volunteering it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      It would be unwise to link time with the kids to his financial info.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                        You absolutely are allowed to ask. You can request financial disclosure annually so this would include his complete tax returns, all T slips / documentation of income and a letter from his employer confirming income if this is a new position.
                        We were in court earlier this year and I requested all this information. Can I ask again since new employment started roughly June. Is he obligated to send the information?

                        FRO is in the process of creating and ISO case. Should I just wait until they have the information that they are requesting from him?
                        Last edited by Busch; 09-12-2016, 10:51 AM. Reason: spelling

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Busch View Post
                          I believe that 9:30 is too late for pick up given the timely drive following. Am I within my right to ask the Ex to follow the court order? Or should I accommodate his request even though I feel that it is completely inappropriate?
                          Court order says by 8pm, and he wants to get them at 9:30pm twice a month.

                          Honestly, if you say no and he brings this to court I suspect you would lose. Denying access would be unreasonable. 90 minutes on a weekend night is almost nothing.

                          Also, if in the future you want to claim that you provide "liberal and generous access", then he would be able to point to a denial as a pretty clear example that you are neither liberal nor generous.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Busch View Post
                            We were in court earlier this year and I requested all this information. Can I ask again since new employment started roughly June. Is he obligated to send the information?

                            FRO is in the process of creating and ISO case. Should I just wait until they have the information that they are requesting from him?
                            Did you receive the information? Was an order made for disclosure?

                            It's a tough call because on one hand, people will tel8lyou to wait until next year to update and it will even out after new taxes are done. On the other hand, people will also tell you CS should be calculated on current income and it should be adjusted up or down as required.

                            If the CS amounts and arrears are still not sorted out and he is not paying as he is supposed to, i would think it's totally fine to request disclosure.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Janus View Post
                              Court order says by 8pm, and he wants to get them at 9:30pm twice a month.

                              Honestly, if you say no and he brings this to court I suspect you would lose. Denying access would be unreasonable. 90 minutes on a weekend night is almost nothing.

                              Also, if in the future you want to claim that you provide "liberal and generous access", then he would be able to point to a denial as a pretty clear example that you are neither liberal nor generous.


                              Janus you need to go back and read Bush's history. Her ex is extremely difficult and chose to move several hours away in the states. These kids have to cross the border into the Buffalo area. I can understand her hesitation at letting her young children cross at 9:30 at night on a Friday. Especially when her ex is also one of those "give em an inch" kind of people. It will go to ten o'clock, ten thirty and so on. He didnt stick to an order before and she had to fight for him to do so. Now hes using his "new job" that he hasnt shared details on as his excuse. Its a tough call and not easily chalked up to "denying access". Its one thing to say to a dad who lives two blocks over "yes I am ok with you getting them an hour later" and another to say "sure pick them up later and take them several hours across an international border".

                              Comment

                              Our Divorce Forums
                              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                              Working...
                              X